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| 14 August 2010 |
| Cousins? I'm cranky and angry about the adults! |
FADE IN INT. WENTING'S HOUSE - EVENING I wish I was not typing this. I hate to wash my dirty linen in public. If I am pissed with people, I usually keep my feelings to myself. But if I keep this to myself, I will explode. I wish to improve my relationships with my parents and cousins. That was among the goals of my transformation. I never openly stated so (I thought "Chinese culture" and "social relationships" already covered that), but my relationships with my parents and cousins do mean a lot to me. My cousins were among my first companions, while my parents are obviously a key aspect of my life. Today, Wenting turned 21, so I attended her birthday party. As usual, the food was good and she was awesome. Everyone enjoyed chatting with each other and watching the Youth Olympic Games opening ceremony. But once again, I did not manage to get closer to my cousins. The distance between us remains. So did the awkward turtle moments. Wenxin (yes, they are sisters) is one of the few cousins I consider a potential close friend, as we have common interests (and used to chat often on MSN). Problem is, a few months ago, I pissed her off over something (I admit I was in the wrong) and she blocked me on MSN. I passed her an apology note, but her response was not encouraging (that is not the focus of this post, though). Then my family had to leave and an aunt drove us home. Then (as usual) the adults had to spoil everything. Upon reaching home, my father scolded me, because I allegedly told an aunt something bad about him. What the h***! I never said that to any of my aunts! Perhaps that aunt or my father misinterpreted a comment of mine? Anyway, he did not even allow me to explain myself and asked me to call said aunt, then when she did not pick up, told me he did not care whether I called said aunt or not. I feel like giving up on trying to improve my relationship with my father. This is not the first time that he has been so unreasonable. I feel like giving up on trying to improve my relationships with my cousins as well. This is not the first time that the adults have spoiled an occasion. There was that bust-up with the mother of Wenting and Wenxin, over the same thing that pissed Wenxin off. There has been plenty of academic comparing (though that happens in most Chinese families) and the flak I drew after retaining. Regarding the SRJC issue, I wish to clarify (again) that I only said that SRJC had little faith in Arts students, because they did not let me take H2 Maths (even though I clearly met the requirements). The joke about their college anthem meaning "SRJC ALL 4 U" was started by SR students themselves, many years ago, while "failing like an SRJC student" is a simile used by several of my friends, that I did not come up with. Last year, the principal of SRJC came to SHSS to give a talk that was offensive to non-Chinese students, Arts stream students (see?), Combined Science students and Normal stream students, as well as physically disabled or special needs students (a community I have close ties to and do volunteer work with). I have no reason to believe that several of my juniors and even a teacher would lie to me. Then again, nobody ever listens to my explanations. For the next few months, I will not attend any birthday parties of my cousins. I will not spend my 19th birthday with them either (I wanted to spend my 18th with them, but our plans fell through). I would need to focus on my A-Levels anyway. Need to draw up and execute plans to vastly cut down my online time, for starters. FADE OUT |
# > J.L.W.S. The Special One moved a piece and punched the clock @ 11:58  
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