JLWorldS

Need a Plan B!

2010-10-04T23:59:00.003+08:00

FADE IN
INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - MORNING

The start of another school week. Starting with P.E.E. lesson. Dear CGH, please get my new in-sole done quickly, so I can do more exercise! Now even two rounds of walking around the school stadium makes my legs hurt badly. Looks like this ankle ligament of mine will never get better.

So what can I do during P.E.E. lessons? Study? Brain is still on strike. Nap? Yes, I did. Head to the canteen or a quiet place? P.E.E. teachers do not allow, but I do so anyway. Guess who I bumped into on the way? Helen, that awesome junior whom I always enjoy chatting with. We sat at a staircase and talked about...the A-Levels.

Per her suggestion, we both took out a piece of paper and wrote at the top: "What would I do if I failed my A-Levels and TP does not let me come back to retake?"

I stared at the paper for five minutes.

Then I wrote "commit suicide".

Then I stared at the paper for another five minutes.

Then I tore it up.

Do not ask me why I wrote that. To be honest, I have no idea what came over me.

I remember how Helen used to joke: "If I fail A-Level, I go back TP and be canteen auntie!" This time, she joked: "JJ, if you fail A-Level, go and be SBS bus driver! No need to buy new uniform, can use your TP one!"

What a terrifying prospect.

Thinking about bus drivers and buses made me miss TWS. I wish he had come to TP. Well, we are meeting on Wednesday.

At least Helen had a better answer. She plans to go to music school. Hope she becomes a successful singer.

I really need to start thinking of a better answer. Considering my current situation, retaking my A-Levels is no longer my Plan B, but my Plan A, so I need a Plan B. Otherwise I may really commit suicide if TP do not let me retake.

FADE OUT

Hildan Knightmares

2010-09-05T00:42:00.017+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S BED - NIGHT

Sleep no more! Nothing beats the feeling of writing essays in solitude after midnight. What is there to wake up to and look forward to in the morning? Uninteresting and hardly beneficial lessons? The bedroom has become a dark place where daydreams are replaced with nightmares. Really horrible nightmares.

Is sleep but a creative outlet to play out my worst fears? Such as a killer A-Level H2 Literature paper, with the Proof essay question being "Does Claire love her family?" and a Disgrace essay question about the Byron opera. In the nightmare paper, the poem was in a foreign language. French, I think. French is all Greek to me.

The A-Level H2 Maths killer paper in another nightmare had all questions in English. But I blanked out, so the mathematical symbols were all Greek to me. For in fact, the sigma is a Greek letter. I grabbed my graphic calculator and pressed the On button. The thing had run out of batteries. Five minutes of failed attempts to turn the thing on. Five minutes of frustration and finally, failure. I hurled the calculator in the air. It landed hard on Cherry's head. She began to cry. Then the calculator hit the floor and caused an earthquake.

The next night, I had another nightmare, about results release day. That I scored a 20. Not an O-Level L1R5 of 20. 20 A-Level points out of 90 (one A and Us for all the other subjects). Crying, I took a bus to Tampines Block 812, a place that holds many memories. I took the lift, then the staircase, to the top storey. I jumped and while falling, shouted "LOOK, I'M FLYING!"

As I landed hard on the ground, instead of dying, I woke up. Had leg cramp. Ouch! I winced in pain, tossing and turning on my bed as I tried to straighten my leg. Then I felt a tingling sensation and numbness in my left arm. Like Clive Linley in Amsterdam by Ian McEwan (one of my set texts). When Clive had that tingling sensation, he worried that he was going to die, like Molly. So did I. Ridiculous thoughts!

The upcoming A-Levels are not my only source of nightmares. I had one where I was sitting at my void deck and was surrounded by all my friends. Normally that should make me happy. But they ganged up on me. They grabbed me and carried me to a strange place, where they threw me into a huge box and locked it. The box was filled with trash and full of insects. It was very dark inside. Then I heard a very loud noise and the box started moving up and up at a high speed.

Another nightmare was about something that virtually all Singaporean males worry about. National Service. Though they say army buddies stick together for life, my nightmare camp had this group of gangsters who kept physically assaulting me and a gay guy, who also tried to sexually harass me. My sucky superiors sabotaged me with extra work as they thought I was slow and stupid. One day, I could no longer tolerate my suffering and went berserk. I shot the gangsters, gay guy, superiors and everyone within sight. Soon I was surrounded by highly trained officers who demanded I surrender. I pointed my gun upwards, towards my chin, and pulled the trigger. My head flew off my body and hit the ceiling, splashing the entire room with blood.

Last but not least, going to FASS would be a dream come true, but one night, I was reminded that adapting to life there could be a nightmare if I am not well prepared. Without friends like Robben and Gab to mix with, I could be picked on by highlifers who make me drink alcohol until I got really drunk, vomitted uncontrollably and said stupid stuff. In the nightmare, the day after, a video of me drunk, vomitting and saying stupid stuff became a YouTube meme.

Why are nightmares called nightmares? Mares are horses. Maybe I get so many nightmares because knights ride on horses? Anyway, time for me to sleep; hope I have a good night and not a bad night plagued by nightmares!

FADE OUT

Cousins? I'm cranky and angry about the adults!

2010-08-14T11:58:00.004+08:00

FADE IN INT. WENTING'S HOUSE - EVENING

I wish I was not typing this. I hate to wash my dirty linen in public. If I am pissed with people, I usually keep my feelings to myself. But if I keep this to myself, I will explode.

I wish to improve my relationships with my parents and cousins. That was among the goals of my transformation. I never openly stated so (I thought "Chinese culture" and "social relationships" already covered that), but my relationships with my parents and cousins do mean a lot to me. My cousins were among my first companions, while my parents are obviously a key aspect of my life.

Today, Wenting turned 21, so I attended her birthday party. As usual, the food was good and she was awesome. Everyone enjoyed chatting with each other and watching the Youth Olympic Games opening ceremony. But once again, I did not manage to get closer to my cousins. The distance between us remains. So did the awkward turtle moments.

Wenxin (yes, they are sisters) is one of the few cousins I consider a potential close friend, as we have common interests (and used to chat often on MSN). Problem is, a few months ago, I pissed her off over something (I admit I was in the wrong) and she blocked me on MSN. I passed her an apology note, but her response was not encouraging (that is not the focus of this post, though).

Then my family had to leave and an aunt drove us home. Then (as usual) the adults had to spoil everything. Upon reaching home, my father scolded me, because I allegedly told an aunt something bad about him. What the h***! I never said that to any of my aunts! Perhaps that aunt or my father misinterpreted a comment of mine? Anyway, he did not even allow me to explain myself and asked me to call said aunt, then when she did not pick up, told me he did not care whether I called said aunt or not.

I feel like giving up on trying to improve my relationship with my father. This is not the first time that he has been so unreasonable. I feel like giving up on trying to improve my relationships with my cousins as well. This is not the first time that the adults have spoiled an occasion. There was that bust-up with the mother of Wenting and Wenxin, over the same thing that pissed Wenxin off. There has been plenty of academic comparing (though that happens in most Chinese families) and the flak I drew after retaining.

Regarding the SRJC issue, I wish to clarify (again) that I only said that SRJC had little faith in Arts students, because they did not let me take H2 Maths (even though I clearly met the requirements). The joke about their college anthem meaning "SRJC ALL 4 U" was started by SR students themselves, many years ago, while "failing like an SRJC student" is a simile used by several of my friends, that I did not come up with. Last year, the principal of SRJC came to SHSS to give a talk that was offensive to non-Chinese students, Arts stream students (see?), Combined Science students and Normal stream students, as well as physically disabled or special needs students (a community I have close ties to and do volunteer work with). I have no reason to believe that several of my juniors and even a teacher would lie to me. Then again, nobody ever listens to my explanations.

For the next few months, I will not attend any birthday parties of my cousins. I will not spend my 19th birthday with them either (I wanted to spend my 18th with them, but our plans fell through). I would need to focus on my A-Levels anyway. Need to draw up and execute plans to vastly cut down my online time, for starters.

FADE OUT

Happy Birthday, Singapore and Fyodor!

2010-08-09T13:39:00.003+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - AFTERNOON

HAPPY 45TH BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED LION CITY, SINGAPORE! <3

I posted the following poem on my Facebook Wall:

Count on me, Singapore!
My friends and I will stand together, hear the lion roar!
I want to shine for Singapore, for this is my song!
For Singapore is where I belong,
for this is where I know it's home!

Yes, the poem is built from lyrics from national songs. Took only twenty minutes to compose it (compared to eight hours for real ones like My Turn). But what matters is that I love Singapore, every day, not just on National Day. Singapore has its flaws, but so does every country.

I wanted to watch the National Day Parade but since my mother took me out for a National Day event, I did not have the time to watch the parade. I promise to watch the parade next year, if I am still alive then! Anyway, after the event, I went to the nearby shopping centre and rented a DVD of WALL-E. Hence I have decided to start a new series, about movies. Approximately every five days, there will be a post about a movie (whose DVD I had rented and watched), with commentary from a (hopefully) different perspective.

HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY TO MY NEW FRIEND FYODOR! <3

I posted the following poem on her Facebook Wall:

Hello Claire!
Wonderful people like you are rare.
Happy birthday!
That's all I want to say.
I wanted to compose a haiku,
just for you,
but my brain won't allow me to.

I would write more, but as the poem says, my brain won't allow me to, so I simply hope that Singapore continues to soar and Fyodor (a Malaysian) will emigrate here.

FADE OUT

Thinking about three teams...

2010-07-23T13:49:00.001+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Each of us is a member of several groups. In school, we are in a class and a CCA. We may join an interest group or a cell group. I am part of a group that does community work. Guess what? A group is like a football team. There must be a captain to lead the team, defenders to keep things organised, midfielders to provide the creativity and strikers to get the goals. Each player must be in the right position and link well with his teammates. A team with no teamwork would not win trophies; neither would a team with ten strikers and one goalkeeper. There will be occasional transfers; departing players have to be adequately replaced (though finding an exact replica of a player is impossible) and new players need time to settle in so they can strengthen the team.

There are three teams I play for, which matter a lot to me, which are worrying me. In one team, I am considered the captain and am close to many of my teammates. I love this team and would love to play for them for the rest of my life. I am doing all I can to help us achieve our goals, but one player does not make a team (two or three players do not make a team either). Sadly, some players are not contributing much. Some players are causing dressing-room unrest. New signings could strengthen this team but there is a shortage of them.

In another team, there was such strength in depth that I was usually on the bench. I do enjoy being part of this team and get along well with my teammates, even though I am not very close to them. However, the team recently underwent an overhaul, with many key players transferred out. I need the key players to guide me and fear that the overhaul has unbalanced the team. With a smaller squad, I can contribute more, but the problem is, I have no idea which position I should be playing at! To compound matters, my contract expires at the end of this year and will not be renewed, so I have to find a new team to play for!

As for the third team, I am a regular starter for them, though not a key player. This team used to be so united, but things have changed. Some teammates are my close friends and I play well alongside them. Some teammates would love to kick me out of the team. Some are playing well, others not as well, but we know what trophies we are going for and for me, what matters is that we win the trophies we want. Sometimes I would rather train alone or only with my friends, because I am not getting much out of our training sessions and wish for a better training system.

This is why, in real life, I do not play football. Playing in and for a team is very difficult. So I prefer small teams or even pairs. Of course, there are also games like chess, with me facing one opponent, but success in life requires teamwork. Sigh.

FADE OUT

Seeking suitable study environments

2010-07-19T19:04:00.010+08:00

FADE IN
INT. WHEREVER JJ STUDIES - AT NIGHT

Last night, I stayed up until 4am to work on a Literature project. That felt good. JJ remembers, and misses, the late nights spent writing essays. JJ remembers how home was once a great place to complete assignments and study my socks off, After a good shower, I would play instrumental music and spend hours immersed in my essay writing (or whatever homework I have), with milk and snacks on my table to keep me going. Hoping that my father does not come home (last night, he did not).

For he continues to insist that - at least, when he is at home or comes home - I sleep by midnight on all days (and does not hesitate to punish me when he catches me awake well past midnight). Ridiculous, unreasonable and...feel free to come up with more adjectives. With my mermaid gone, I also have to spend more time on housework, leaving less time for homework. Did I forget to mention that I now have to eat outside, every day?

My preliminary examinations start in 6 weeks and the actual A-Levels commence 15 weeks from now. I need to study hard, but how? Reading, studying and working on my work during lessons is not optimal as teachers would want me to concentrate on the lessons. The long hours exhaust me.

Next week, the hours will get longer, with the start of Night Study. Should I dread this? No. I see Night Study as an opportunity. In the school library, away from my parents and troubles, I may be able to study properly and get stuff done. But how do I make the school library a viable environment for me to study?

So do not be surprised if you see me bringing a towel, soap, an iPod and snacks to school. JJ just wants to study. In the school library, which, unlike my home, is air-conditioned (cool, man). Until 8.30pm every weekday (except Fridays, as I now meet M1 on Friday evenings). How about weekends, though? How about days where I buy an MC? Besides the school library and home, JJ needs more good places to study. Tampines Block 812 is undergoing renovations, so that leaves CDAC and Tampines Regional Library, but JJ will keep searching. JJ will also keep studying and striving for excellent grades.

FADE OUT

Really Random Reminiscences II

2010-07-17T22:55:00.001+08:00

>FADE IN
INT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - DAY

More random updates about my life:

The challenge on 13 July was harder than expected. Some parts hurt. Ran out of time for some other parts. Thankfully I was well prepared. I got a D, which means more tests are needed. Have a few more months to work on my computing skills, so the JavaScript series shall continue!
JJ scored 66 (B) for Maths! Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! But I am very disappointed with my other results. 50 (D) for GP, 46 (E) for History, scraped through Literature with a 45 (E) and failed Economics for the first time, scoring 42 (S). Intensive studying must commence soon!
Today, I represented TP at the Inter-Gavel Competition organised by NUS High. To be honest, our club has better speakers (such as Gab), so I was surprised at being chosen, but I was determined to seize the opportunity and prepare well. I must familiarise myself with the route from Tampines to there if I want to enter FASS; the events in my life during 0830-0900 on 170710 could be made into a 30-minute short film titled How to Get Lost in Clementi! Although I did not win a prize, what matters is that I could speak to hundreds about a cause I care about and, based on their comments, I managed to influence their mindsets. What a wonderful learning experience! In addition, I was surprised at how (after giving my speech) I managed to start and sustain conversations with complete strangers without excessive awkward turtleness. In fact, I got hugged by an NJC girl! Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya!
Is there an award for being horrible at doing housework? If so, JJ would certainly be in contention for said award. The light in my room is now flickering, but I hope my mum does not ask me to change the lightbulb. I do not screw things in. I screw things up. This is straining my relationship with my mother and, more importantly, making studying and doing homework difficult. I must start studying in school and make school a more viable studying environment for myself.
I heard from my juniors that a girl from their batch, Jazzlyn Tei, met with a serious accident and is in critical condition in hospital, unable to eat, talk or recognise anyone. Although I do not really know her, I will pray for her and I hope you will too.
Last but not least, I have been given a golden opportunity to be a published writer! I will spend the rest of the month on a three-page story which, if deemed good enough, will be included in a compilation that may be sold in bookstores. Since this is partially related to my community work, I cannot disclose further details.

FADE OUT

JavaScript Project 4: Fighting a Mysterious Monster

2010-07-11T12:12:00.014+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GINSENG! <3

I understand you are going through a difficulr transition in your life, but I believe that if you do your best, you will pull through and emerge stronger! Do not let labels hold you back. I am also going through a difficult transition. Yesterday, my mermaid left Singapore for good. For the next few months, JJ will have lots of homework and lots of housework to do.

With or without her, my preparations for 13 July have to continue, though they will be over soon. So here is the fourth script in my JavaScript series.This took over 8 hours to code and debug (previous scripts took 2-4 hours), for this script is much more complex. I do not know the name of the monster; let them be a mysterious foe.

What are you waiting for! Click Start Fight (and then the other buttons)! Hope you have as much fun fighting the mysterious foe as I had coding the fight! Here is a hint - know your opponent and their strategies.

Your HP:
Monster HP:

FADE OUT

Taking tests...er, IQ tests...

2010-07-09T21:26:00.008+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

As part of my preparations for the massive challenge on 13 July, I took fifteen online IQ tests. The results for ten of them are as follows:

129 for The Classic IQ Test
123 for the IQ test at funeducation.com
161 for The Detailed I.Q. Test
146 for The Simple IQ Test
122 for the IQ test at iqtestclub.com
130 for the IQ test at iqtest.org.uk
126 for the IQ test at AllTheTests.com
141 for The Complete IQ Test @ 3SmartCubes.com
146 for the IQ test at IQTest.com
146 for the Free IQ Test

Five scores were excluded from the sample because:

I do not know my results for the GIQTest and the National IQ Test as I must pay to receive my results.
The online version of Raven's Matrices is administered in Spanish (I scored 117).
The maximum score of 145 on the GIGI assessment is too low (I scored 117).
Significant external disruptions, especially parents, affected my performance on the General IQ Test (I scored 122).

There are other factors which affect the accuracy of an IQ test. These include the breadth and depth of questions asked, how difficult the questions are, the algorithm for conversion of absolute results to IQ scores (which are relative to others of the same age group) and the standard deviation of the test. Many of the above tests did not ask for my age, which is important in the calculation of IQ scores. A low standard deviation means most scores will be close to 100, while a high standard deviation leads to more very high and very low scores; most modern, professional IQ tests have a standard deviation of about 15.

Of the ten scores included in the sample, the highest score is 161, the lowest score is 122, the arithmetric mean is 137, the arithmetric median is 135.5 and the arithmetric mode is 146. Assuming a standard deviation of 15, an IQ of 130 is very close to the 98th percentile norm of MENSA. In future, I may take an official IQ test to apply for membership in MENSA, but for now, I am satisfied because I am well prepared for one aspect of the challenge on 13 July.

FADE OUT

Walking and workouts, for great exercise!

2010-07-07T22:22:00.011+08:00

FADE IN
EXT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - DAY

Preparations for the massive challenge on 13 July are in full swing! JJ has lost almost 5 kg due to lots of exercise. Not kidding. Despite my ankle ligament problem, I can still do certain forms of exercise.

I often go to the Tampines Stadium to watch football matches, supporting the Stags. I still do, but I now go to the Tampines Stadium much more often, because I also go there to walk around the track!

Walking a round around the track takes about 5 minutes. I usually walk 4 rounds per session (which takes 20 minutes). There are days which I feel particularly ambitious and go for 6 rounds. While walking, I reflect about my life and admire the scenery.

<rant>Mum! Please buy me a proper mobile phone! That the previous one died was not my fault (it was over four years old). Surely you can get a better replacement than a second-hand phone that cannot even record and play music? Lack of C-pop in school and while exercising is severely affecting my mood! Sigh.</rant>

There is also the school stadium, which is of the same size. Breaks just became less boring! Ditto for P.E.E. lessons.

Several friends and teachers suggested I go to a gym. Why should I go to a gym when there are free fitness corners that are more suitable for my weak body? My favourite has to be the one at Tampines Block 812, near SHSS. There are 6 stations and I spend about 5 minutes at each station, for a total of 30 minutes.

Doing sit-ups can be fun when there is no NAPFA-test pressure to do them as fast as possible. I take about a minute to do 20 sit-ups. Sucks, I know, and my stomach hurts, but nevertheless a great warm-up.

No, this is not a shooting target! This is for comfortably stretching the upper body. Place the hands on the knobs and move them clockwise, then anti-clockwise, as far as possible. Begone, shoulder aches!

Hold tight, swing the lower body left, swing the lower body right and do not fall off. May my stomach fats swing away!

Swinging my legs back and forth. Whee! But I have a problem! This station was near the barriers and the swing often hit the barriers! My legs did not suffer any injuries but I bet the residents did not appreciate the noise pollution!

Appearances can be deceptive. Can a bicycle be run by moving the handlebars forward and backward? Yes, this is how this bicycle is supposed to work. For great justice, er, arm muscles.

On the other handm this bicycle, like most bicycles, is to be sat on and pedalled with the legs. Great for cooling down after half an hour of exercise. Being JJ, I take the opportunity to read while pedalling.

Potential stalkers will be disappointed to be informed that I know several other tracks and fitness corners, the locations of which I shall not disclose. I also wanted to take tai chi lessons from Mr Chew, play tennis with Xinying and pick up swimming, but none of these plans materialised. Nevertheless, my current exercise regime works for me and I will continue with said regime, for the exercise does make me feel fresher and gets rid of muscle aches.

FADE OUT

JavaScript Project 3: ClickButton

2010-07-04T09:14:00.009+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Six Bible verses have been analysed in preceding posts. The series has successfully gotten me into the habit of reading my Bible. So the series can be placed on hold and can also be brought back if I need to regain the habit. In the long run, I would need a guide such as Our Daily Bread.

For now, enjoy the third script in my JavaScript series! ClickButton is similar to the many "how many times can you click the button in x seconds?" games available online (especially on Facebook), but you can specify the value of x. What are you waiting for? Enter the desired length of your clicking frenzy (in seconds) in the text box and start clicking!

FADE OUT

Bible Reading 6 - Matthew 5:39

2010-07-03T17:55:00.004+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

DISCLAIMER: This post extensively discusses Christian teachings, practices and issues. Some points may also apply to other religions. If you are not Christian, you are still welcome to read the post to gain insights or understand Christianity better. However, if you do not feel comfortable reading Christian stuff, do feel free to skip the post. I have made reasonable efforts to ensure the post does not contain inappropriate comments about other religions, but if any material is inadvertently offensive (or factually inaccurate), please inform me politely.

Intensive preparations for 13 July have started! So has work on my Project 8 Speech. JJ is really pissed with several people, but thankfully this verse came to mind:

Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. (Matthew 5:39)

Like John 8:32, this verse has become a famous quote, frequently used in a secular context, but its meaning has not been lost. If everyone followed the principle "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth", who would benefit? Eye surgeons and companies selling dentures.

So we should not respond to evil with evil. For example, when schoolmates bully me, I should not retaliate. In fact, I should strive to not hate or condemn them, for God will condemn them. God wants world peace. God wants us to love everyone, even our enemies. Doing so is very difficult, because God is perfect and we are not, but that should not stop us from trying. Perhaps I should pray for those bullies, for bullies tend to be people who are plagued by problems. Why should I sink to their level?

But does Jesus really want us to respond to evil by inviting further evil? Why would he want me to tell a bully to "go ahead and beat me up"? Perhaps we should interpret this verse in the context of the times Jesus lived in and the culture then (see this well-sourced Wikipedia article for more information).

FADE OUT

Bible Reading 5 - Proverbs 8:10

2010-07-01T19:52:00.004+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

DISCLAIMER: This post extensively discusses Christian teachings, practices and issues. Some points may also apply to other religions. If you are not Christian, you are still welcome to read the post to gain insights or understand Christianity better. However, if you do not feel comfortable reading Christian stuff, do feel free to skip the post. I have made reasonable efforts to ensure the post does not contain inappropriate comments about other religions, but if any material is inadvertently offensive (or factually inaccurate), please inform me politely.

Copied from my tweets about the exam papers:

Once I got my Literature paper, my mind went blank. My Disgrace essay was a disgrace; the Amsterdam one was even worse. JC-2 SA2 is over but I'm in no mood to rejoice. Afraid I'll fail my favourite subject! Plus I have a TPJClink article to write tonight.

One TPJClink article, two Economics articles for ALPHA, a magazine design for ALPHA and three Project Speeches. All must be completed soon, so I can submit my School Graduation Certificate achievements. In addition, I must spend the next 11 days intensively exercising, doing IQ tests and studying XHTML/CSS/JavaScript. Why? To prepare for 13 July, where I will face a massive challenge that may literally be a matter of life and death.

I would love to take a break from studying for A-Levels, but obviously cannot. With a very busy and difficult July ahead, I need wisdom and guidance from God. Thus I picked a verse from Proverbs, one of my favourite Bible chapters.

Choose my instruction instead of silver, knowledge rather than choice gold (Proverbs 8:10)

In the New International version translation of Proverbs, "knowledge" is synonymous with "wisdom". Thus the verse means that the wisdom of the Lord with worth more than gold. We live in a highly materialistic society, but should not adopt its materialistic ways. Money and possessions are indeed important. Proverbs 30:9 notes that with no food or money, one would steal food to survive and thus violate one of the Ten Commandments. However, all the money and possessions in the world cannot buy us happiness, for life is about far more than these. For me, happiness is enjoying and excelling in what I do, being close to my friends and living in accordance with my values, even if I am not rich. To God, the keys are love and wisdom, both of which I seek.

FADE OUT

Vuvuzelas! BZZZZZ!

2010-06-30T22:46:00.012+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Copied from my tweets about the exam papers:

For H2 Maths, the 2 Vectors questions were worth 21 marks. 21 marks gone! I officially give up on Vectors; can't understand a thing! But I completed all of the remaining 10 questions (8 on Statistics chapters, 2 on Differential Equations), worth 79 marks! Skipping the Vectors questions gave me time to check for and catch several careless mistakes. Really hope I do well.

As for the H1 History paper, I am glad it is history. Spent over an hour on the source-based essay; I'd better get a B or A for that one! Otherwise I'll fail and be called up for Night Study! Didn't study Post-Cold War. That essay was solely based on logic! Thankfully I remembered enough about the Arab-Israeli Conflict and Extension of Cold War to write decent essays on them. Worried that my essay on the former may be out of point. One paper left! Then I can focus on more important things.

Exam week. So? I am still following the World Cup. Good job, Ghana! The continent of Africa is counting on you guys. In fact, my father mispronounced "Ghana" as "Gandhi"! A pity that Japan and South Korea are out, though. Looks like this World Cup will be dominated by South American teams, with Paraguay, Uruguay, Argentina and favourites Brazil in the quarter-finals. Last night, Spain defeated Portugal 1-0. May they finally win the World Cup! They deserve it.

When Robben (who is interested in international politics) tweeted about "Hugo Chavez, President of Venezuela", I almost misread that as "Hugo Chavez, President of Vuvuzela"! For JJ has become fascinated with vuvuzelas. Yes, the horns that South Africans often play during football matches, that are annoying many at the World Cup. If you have no idea what they sound like, then you are invited to hear the vuvuzela!

In my opinion, the vuvuzelas should not be banned at a World Cup hosted in South Africa, which represents their post-apartheid progress and should showcase African culture. The concerns about hearing loss and drowning out other communication are valid, but surely there are alternatives to banning? There could be guidelines and restrictions on their use. In addition, vuvuzela manufacturer Masincedane Sport is developing versions that are 20 dB softer.

Several interesting facts about vuvuzelas (mostly taken from several newspaper articles):

Vuvuzelas can go as loud as 130 decibels (much louder than a chainsaw), while South African law orders people to use ear protection if they are repeatedly exposed to noises above 85 decibels.
In South Africa, the vuvuzela industry is worth 50 million rand.
YouTube added a "vuvuzela button" to its video-watching interface. Yes, the vuvuzela has become an Internet meme and even Hitler hates them.
The largest vuvuzela in the world sits atop a truck that travels around Cape Town. This gargantuan instrument is about 35 metres long, while a standard vuvuzela is only about 65 cm long. Seeing is believing, so here is a photo of the giant horn:

Vuvuzelas are now on sale in several European countries. May they come to Singapore! I would love to buy one (they are available on Amazon). Bullies beware! Pick on me and I will blow a vuvuzela into your ear. I would love to disrupt the Literature exam tomorrow with a vuvuzela, but since I cannot, I have to go and study now.

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Bible Reading 4 - Hebrews 13:5

2010-06-29T10:10:00.007+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

DISCLAIMER: This post extensively discusses Christian teachings, practices and issues. Some points may also apply to other religions. If you are not Christian, you are still welcome to read the post to gain insights or understand Christianity better. However, if you do not feel comfortable reading Christian stuff, do feel free to skip the post. I have made reasonable efforts to ensure the post does not contain inappropriate comments about other religions, but if any material is inadvertently offensive (or factually inaccurate), please inform me politely.

Copied from my tweets about the exam papers:

For GP Paper 1, I did the following question: "Can spending on the arts ever be justified when it has little practical use?" Tried a different approach, with some rebutting. I wonder - in fact, I hope! - the marker will "appreciate" it. From my essay (not an exact quote): "Quality artworks invite people to reflect on issues and their lifes. Hence the arts will always appeal to people because it is human nature to seek the answer to life, the universe and everything. (which is far more than 42)."

For GP Paper 2, the comprehension passage was about whether scientific and economic progress truly leads to human progress. The vocabulary was unusually difficult! Wasted too much time on it and had to rush through the rest of the paper! For Economics, I wasted too much time on the case study. That I managed to finish the paper is a miracle in itself. (after exam) Me: "The essay question on circular flow of income was really unexpected!" Teacher: "Why didn't you do the other one?" Me: "It was even worse."

Now for the verse and analysis! I was reading my Bible, looking for suitable verses, when I got an SMS from Mel, which included this verse.

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

We sometimes long for a friend who will always be there for us, a friend whom we can always count on. Guess what? We have such a friend, in God. Sadly, most of us are horrible friends, who often push Him aside and disregard His advice. Yet He forgives us and continues to guide and guard us. Instead of telling our God how big the storm is, could we tell the storm how big our God is? Could we learn to rely on Him, be a better friend and build a better relationship with Him?

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Bible Reading 3 - Psalm 119:105

2010-06-27T17:41:00.000+08:00

Worth ten thousand words about the Tampines Sports Complex

2010-06-26T20:01:00.007+08:00

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EXT. TAMPINES SPORTS COMPLEX - AFTERNOON

Thanks, TWS, for the wonderful photography outing around the Tampines Sports Complex! As the saying goes, a picture is worth a thousand words, so instead of typing ten thousand words about the outing, I would rather let ten photos I took (some during the outing, some on the way to Tampines Block 812 for a workout today) tell the story:

The familiar sight of the Tampines Sports Hall from the outside. Saw two flags and almost started singing the National Anthem.

Taken at the entrance of the Tampines Sports Hall. The winding staircase is cool. I had a headache, so I ordered 100-Plus from the drink machine. Then I saw a sign that photography is not permitted in the premises.

Yours truly always walks here and turns left to get to the Tampines Stadium to watch Stags matches.

No, we did not damage the sign. Who did? What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer! I mean, no idea. Wear and tear, perhaps?

We took a detour around a track leading to the blocks and gardens nearby. The clock tower reminded us that we were short of time.

Almost misread this as "Great White Shark Centre". We also took a photo of the nearby Japanese restaurant (which we should eat at one day), but I decided not to post it here.

Helen, does this staircase look familiar to you?

A photo of the Tampines Swimming Complex would contain indecent exposure of people, so we decided to walk to the end. Wonder what this building is.

The Tampines Stadium running track. Yours truly should jog there more often. If we had a ball, we could have scored a goal! For the Stags?

What beautiful architecture! So many circles!

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Bible Reading 2 - Galatians 6:9

2010-06-25T11:31:00.001+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

DISCLAIMER: This post extensively discusses Christian teachings, practices and issues. Some points may also apply to other religions. If you are not Christian, you are still welcome to read the post to gain insights or understand Christianity better. However, if you do not feel comfortable reading Christian stuff, do feel free to skip the post. I have made reasonable efforts to ensure the post does not contain inappropriate comments about other religions, but if any material is inadvertently offensive (or factually inaccurate), please inform me politely.

My analysis of John 8:32 was thorough, but I spent too much time on it! Posts in series should be short, to prevent blogging from being too time-consuming! Now for a shorter analysis of another verse, which Clarrie mentioned in an MSN conversation.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (Galatians 6:9)

God wants us to do good. But what is doing good? Doing good could mean following the Word of God. Doing good could mean evangelising or, in my case, doing volunteer work. Doing good could simply mean studying hard and being responsible. One should do all of the above and do them not solely for the reward, but because one wants to do them. I study hard because I find Literature and Economics fascinating; excellent A-Level results are important, but secondary. I do volunteer work because I really care about the disabled and special needs communities.

If one does good with a sincere heart, one need not worry about rewards, because God will bless them and rewards will come naturally. By rewards, I do not only mean benefits to one who does good. I also mean the desired impact of doing good - for example, changing societal mindsets towards the disabled and special needs communities.

Doing good is difficult. We are surrounded by temptations, negative values and other obstacles. Instead of giving up, one should rely on God's guidance and strength. Nobody is perfect, so God will not condemn one for occasional mistakes - as long as one does good for the right reasons, one should continue to do so and have faith that the harvest will eventually come!

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Bible Reading 1 - John 8:32

2010-06-23T20:38:00.003+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

DISCLAIMER: This post extensively discusses Christian teachings, practices and issues. Some points may also apply to other religions. If you are not Christian, you are still welcome to read the post to gain insights or understand Christianity better. However, if you do not feel comfortable reading Christian stuff, do feel free to skip the post. I have made reasonable efforts to ensure the post does not contain inappropriate comments about other religions, but if any material is inadvertently offensive (or factually inaccurate), please inform me politely.

Guess how I found my first verse? A Facebook Wall link about the World Cup! Inspiration comes from the most unlikely sources. God works in mysterious ways.

Then you will know the truth and the truth shall set you free. (John 8:32)

Some Bible verses have become common secular sayings, taking on new meanings. In fact, I did not know that "the truth shall set you free" came from a Bible verse, until I Googled the quote! Nowadays this quote is often used in the context of human rights (the Facebook Wall link was about North Korea) or education (especially in science). Yes, knowing the truth may help people in totalitarian regimes fight for freedom. Yes, knowing the truth through education may help young people attain freedom and independence. But that is not the type of truth the Bible verse originally meant. The freedom advocated by liberal ideology is overrated. With freedom comes responsibility!

The "truth" the verse refers to is the coming and message of Jesus Christ. We are all slaves to sin, but once one knows and believes that Jesus died for our sins, one will be forgiven and cleansed. Of course, such forgiveness is not a license to sin as much as one wants. One must strive to avoid sin, with guidance from the Word of God. One must maintain faith in the faith of obstacles. The freedom advocated by liberal ideology leads to a meaningless life of sin, but freedom from the slavery of such a life is even more liberating. To love, be loved and have eternal life is wonderful.

Life (and the novel Proof) has taught me that truth is subjective. Even science has its limits. To me, how true other religions are is impossible to determine. I respect other religions, for Christianity teaches us to love people of other religions and because I recognise that perhaps people of other religions could be saved through their faiths. Nevertheless, I will always accept Christianity as truth, for I believe its truth is evident in our surroundings.

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Sharing burdens, joy and Biblical wisdom!

2010-06-21T23:17:00.005+08:00

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EXT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - DAY

A burden shared is a burden halved. This morning, I met Robben and we had a long talk about things that were troubling us. We also had breakfast together and an enjoyable discusson about the World Cup. For joy, when shared, is doubled. This evening, I also met Helen and we had a wonderful time chatting. We laughed our heads off as we cracked jokes and she deliberately sang off-key.

Then I picked up my head and headed to the match between Tampines Rovers and Woodlands Wellington. As I paid for my ticket and walked in, Tampines scored. Perhaps JJ is their lucky charm! Haha. Did Maths while watching the Stags score five goals (well done, Qiu Li!) and concede none. Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! After full-time, they announced that Portugal humiliated North Korea 7-0. Yes, JJ is one of the one billion people worldwide who are following the World Cup. My family did not subscribe to the TV package and do not approve of me staying up until 4.30am to follow the results on LiveScore, but staying up lets me get work done. I am rooting for the African and Asian teams, but also have a soft spot for Spain.

The M1 Chalet has transformed my life and to continue the transformation, I am trying to read my Bible regularly and make doing so a habit. Thus I am planning a series of six blog posts which analyse Bible verses, seeking to understand (and share) their wisdom. I believe such ideas and insights can be useful to everyone, regardless of religion. (For example, when playing chess, I remember a Zen Buddhist saying that archers who aim for bullseyes win prizes while those who aim for prizes miss.) Friends and M1 members are invited to comment on my interpretations of the verses. In between, there will be posts which do not pertain to Christianity, so if you are not interested in the series, feel free to skip the posts.

Now I had better get back to Maths practice and writing speeches. Tomorrow, I have a photography outing with TWS. Some of the photos we take will be posted here. My juniors rock my world! <3

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JavaScript Project 2: Scissors, Paper, Stone

2010-06-19T14:08:00.003+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Since returning from the chalet, I have been feeling under the weather. Headache, fever, runny nose and cough, go away! I have also been plagued by personal issues and poor time management. Time to take drastic measures. No more NeoPets! Need to focus on preparing for exams, writing speeches and learning XHTML/CSS/JavaScript!

Speaking of learning JavaScript, here is the second script in my JavaScript series. Yes, you can now play scissors-paper-stone on my blog! Just click on one of the hands below to get started (you can play multiple times):

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M1 Chalet (Part 2 - The Transformation)

2010-06-14T18:14:00.000+08:00

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INT. NSRCC - TWO DAYS

DISCLAIMER: This post extensively discusses Christian teachings, practices and issues. Some points may also apply to other religions. If you are not Christian, you are still welcome to read the post to gain insights or understand Christianity better. However, if you do not feel comfortable reading Christian stuff, do feel free to skip the post. I have made reasonable efforts to ensure the post does not contain inappropriate comments about other religions, but if any material is inadvertently offensive (or factually inaccurate), please inform me politely.

The chalet was both fun and life-transforming. As mentioned in my previous post, the fun may have ended, but the transformation continues. Thus this post focuses on the transformation.

Most of the transformation came from activities that resembled services in programme, but cell sessions in atmosphere, combining the best of both. Slim may not be a certified pastor, but he certainly knows how to deliver a sermon - he delivered three! The first was about the least understood member of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. Each of us has the Holy Spirit right next to us, invisible but always ready to guide and protect us. But are we willing to embrace our Holy Spirit? Slim asked us to "greet" our Holy Spirit, then played the following song, during which I made a circle with my arms, as if I was embracing the Holy Spirit:

Come Holy Spirit (available on YouTube)

Come Holy Spirit fall on me now
I need your anointing
Come in your power
I love you Holy Spirit
You're captivating my soul
And every day I grow to love you more

I'm reaching for your heart
You hold my life in your hand
Drawing me closer to you
I feel your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where i can see you face to face
I worship you in spirit and in truth

Reading about miracles and seeing cellmates cry during altar calls, JJ has always wondered what a spiritual experience is like. Finally, while singing with my eyes closed and "embracing" the Holy Spirit, I had what appears to be a spiritual experience. My arms felt warmer (occasionally happens when I am immersed in worship), my shoulders miraculously felt free of fatigue and my chest felt as if someone (presumably the Holy Spirit) was hugging me. I almost teared. Of course, there is still a lot about spiritual experiences that I do not understand, for spiritual experiences inherently defy human explanation. Nevertheless, I am starting to wonder if I had prior spiritual experiences but failed to recognise them as such. Perhaps what happened during my H2 Mathematics paper in the 2009 Promotional Examination was a spiritual experience?

Slim started the second sermon with an analogy. If there are many dots, randomly scattered all over the place, we have chaos in the first dimension. We can arrange the dots to form a line, representing order in the second dimension. Similarly, many randomly scattered lines (chaos in the second dimension) can be connected to form a square or cube (order in the third dimension). I created a diagram to illustrate this concept:

According to the sermon, the world we live in (the Earth) exists in the third dimension and is in chaos due to problems such as poverty. These problems cannot be solved by humans alone. Only the fourth dimension - the spiritual dimension - can bring order to the third dimension. To find Godly solutions, we must think from a Godly perspective. For example, God may see poverty in Africa as a source of opportunities to share the Gospel.

Now I try to think from a Godly perspective, but doing so is difficult, because I obviously am not God. Now I realise that God has made my life so difficult because He wants me to overcome the obstacles I face and grow stronger, so that I can achieve great things. Now I see new opportunities, especially in my volunteer work with the disabled and special needs communities. Now I want to submit all my problems to God, but my insecurity holds me back - I must remember that unlike people, God will never forsake me. Now I wonder:

Why is the world we live in considered to be in third dimension?
If there is chaos in the fourth (spiritual) dimension, what is the fifth dimension that can bring order? (This argument could be repeated ad infinitum.)

These questions suggest that Christianity can be very complicated, but Christianity can also be so simple. In the third sermon, Slim brought us back to basics. God is love. Learn to receive the love of God. Learn to love God. Learn to love others as we love God. For without love, evangelism, charity and the liturgy are worthless. For love is unconditional and God loves us no matter how much we sin (of course, that is not a free license to sin).

We often spend so much time fighting over little things that we forget what we really are fighting for. As Slim delivered the third sermon, I thought about the experiential workshop, a few hours ago, where most of us reached the finish point but failed to keep our fire going, because we were blindfolded and felt lost (a horrible experience that was not mentioned in the post about the fun). We need occasional reminders of the fundamental purpose of what we are doing.

Following the third sermon was an altar call. I started praying for more love, but I soon stopped because I heard Awesome weeping and was distracted. Sounds like she had a very deep spiritual experience, while I need to build a deeper connection with God. I am having difficulty loving two people who are really hurting me now. I am even having difficulty loving myself, because I easily get frustrated with myself, especially when I do not know how to approach my essays or Maths questions (perhaps my problems are affecting my concentration, but that is another obstacle to overcome). Where is the love?

Three sermons. Full of insights that sparked transformation. Further transformation came when Slim called a meeting to make an important announcement. With over 40 members, our cell was too large, so M1 would soon become three cells, with separate weekly cell sessions (except for a monthly common cell session). The announcement shocked most of us. How could M1 split apart?

Change is difficult to accept and adapt to. But change can also be beneficial. As Slim pointed out, with smaller cells, we can forge closer bonds, especially as we support each other through the A-Levels. In addition, each cell can reach out to a different segment of the community. I decided I would accept and adapt to the change, trusting that God will guide the three cells to a better future.

During the chalet, I took two more major steps in my journey as a Christian. The first happened when Slim led M1 in prayer after the announcement. They started by praying in tongues, a Charismatic practice. Normally I, an Anglican, would keep quiet, but this time, I tried praying in tongues. Being unfamiliar with the practice, my syllables sounded weird (awkward turtle) and I did not achieve the desired connection with God, but now I am willing to learn. Upon returning home, I read up on the denominations and found out that one can be both Anglican and Charismatic. To integrate into a Charismatic church, I must let my denominational identity evolve. Anglican-Charismatic? Why not?

The second happened when we were given some time to read the Bible. The Bible is the Word of God, which Christians are expected to familiarise themselves with. To be honest, I do not read the Bible often enough. In fact, I find the Bible a little intimidating to read. This could be because when I was younger, I once tried reading the whole Bible, starting from Genesis, and was soon overwhelmed. That is not how to read the Bible! The recommended approach (which I found out shortly after joining M1) is to select a verse (or set of verses) to read and reflect on.

Although I started to pray regularly, I kept procrasinating on reading the Bible in the recommended way, until the chalet. Given time to read the Bible, I finally did. The set of verses I selected was Matthew 6:25-34, which struck a chord with me. JJ thrives on reflection and this reflection session felt special, because the aim was to understand the Word of God. Guess what? This morning, I opened the Bible again and reflected on another set of verses. Is this the start of a habit? I hope so! I will ask my mother for a copy of Our Daily Bread.

I did not participate in Church at Work, but was fascinated by the presentation about Church of Work given during service. I felt the love of God fill the room as I saw how caring my fellow Riverlifers are and how they made a difference in the lives of the less fortunate. One of my Hildan juniors was featured in the video! The video and speeches gave me several ideas for my volunteer work with the disabled and special needs communities (if only Riverlife had a ministry like City Harvest's JAMS or Cornerstone's JEWELS).

So the transformation continues. I look forward to six more months of transformation with M1. May the transformation continue even after I am transferred out of M1 next January! I have no idea whether I will live beyond next April, but if I do, I would probably go churchhunting again. For now, I am a part of M1 and as long as I remain a part of M1, I will be fully committed to M1 (and thus to God and the transformation of my life). As part of the transformation, I may write more posts pertaining to Christianity, but still, most posts will be of interest to my non-Christian friends (for my group of close friends has always been small but diverse and will remain so).

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M1 Chalet (Part 1 - The Fun)

2010-06-13T08:38:00.011+08:00

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INT. NSRCC - TWO DAYS

A big THANK YOU to everyone who contributed to the wonderful experience I had at the chalet! The committee for organising everything, the members who took part in the activities, even NSRCC and the food catering service! This post focuses on the fun, while the next will focus on the transformation, for there was plenty of both. <3

I arrived at the MRT station 10 minutes early and seeing nobody around, was afraid that they had changed the venue without telling me, but turns out the rest were simply late (except Awesome). We had lunch at Burger King, although I prefer KFC (due to Dew and lower prices), but missed the coach and arrived an hour late! The guys, being guys, kicked a ball around while waiting; despite my ankle ligament problem, I joined in, cautiously.

Most of us already knew each other well, but we still broke ice with a game of People Bingo (where each cell contains a characteristic like "loves animals"). The twist? Instead of using stationery, we put on lipstick and kissed the paper! How awkward turtle, especially for the guys. Took several photos but will not upload them.

After breaking ice, we literally got wet with the other games. Protecting the "holy man" in our group and pelting the "holy men" of other groups with water bombs, called for a strategy - waiting for members of two other teams to attack each other, then sneakily bombing them. In another game, each group chose one member to answer questions and if that member answers a question wrongly (or the member from the other group answers the question correctly and faster), one member from the group is drenched. Some of the answers made us laugh our heads off. "What colour is Barney?" "Pink!" "How many wheels does a bicycle have!" "4!" (Maybe his has training wheels.)

After picking up our heads (which we had laughed off), we had a good swim. The pool was near a drink machine - that sold Dew, which I ordered 4 cups of - and the toilet. Unlike the Orientation Camp with 09A07, the M1 Chalet gave us more than enough time to shower. The water was cold and showering was fun!

I saw this sign in the Steam Room of the male toilet. How can a man be pregnant? Of course, such signs are mass-manufactured, but that was still funny.

Back at the chalet, the guys continued kicking the ball around. That night, I tried basketball-style dribbling and managed a record of 18 consecutive dribbles, then broke that record on the second night, with 32 consecutive dribbles! Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! Everyone slept really late. I did my TBYS worksheet on Sampling Distributions (yes, I'm a no-lifer), while a few watched the World Cup and a few tried to microwave marshmallows! With a little Oreo thrown in, the marshmallows look like ice cream.

Speaking of marshmallows, the food was good. Sausages, crabsticks, stingrays, fried rice, pancakes, rice with seafood, instant noodles and lots more! Just thinking of them makes my mouth water. They ordered too much and could not finish the food, so I played my usual role - helping finish unfinished food. Sometimes the experience is worth the stomachache. But I need to start dieting soon or shopping for clothes will be much harder! Having wet several pairs of clothes during the games, I accidentally spilled half a jug of fruit juice all over myself! Awkward turtle.

On Saturday morning, we had to pack up, check out and wait for the arrival of the "slow coach", which took us to Faith Chapel for more sleeping, chatting and studying. Then our M1 shirts arrived! M1 looked more united during Saturday service, with everyone wearing the M1 shirt! After service, we took several photos, including one of me and Christabel, who, for the avoidance of doubt, is not my SACSS crush.

But all good things must come to an end and after dinner at KFC, we had to go our separate ways. Cell session on Sunday was cancelled even though we 舍不得 each other. The fun is over, but the transformation continues! Will blog about the transformation soon.

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JavaScript Project 1: LineWriter

2010-06-09T18:59:00.005+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

My life is in a mess. Everything is going wrong. Sorry to those whom I said nasty things to while upset. Hopefully the situation will get better soon. I need a break. Packing for the M1 chalet. Looking forward to three days of fun and transformation with M1, away from the hustle and bustle of life (but worried about one thing, which I shall not mention here).

Since laughter is the best medicine, here is a joke (which has many versions):

During a JavaScript class, the teacher was covering loops, but one student kept talking to his friends about football. The furious teacher ordered him to write the line "I must not talk in class" 100 times. He started writing the lines on a piece of paper and one minute later, he handed the following in to the teacher:

for (i=1;i<101;i++)
{
document.write("I must not talk in class.
");
}

This joke inspired the first script in my JavaScript Series. With LineWriter, you can generate those punishment lines in a few seconds to a few minutes (depending on how many lines you have to write). There are other uses for LineWriter (such as generating lines insulting people) and you are only limited by your imagination, so what are you waiting for? Click the button below to begin (have fun using LineWriter!):

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Literature Essay: Amsterdam reads like a contemporary version of the morality play, albeit with a twist. Discuss.

2010-06-05T22:51:00.005+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

For the Literature Mid-Term Test, Miss Fung gave us the question in advance but gave us a one-hour tutorial to complete the essay. She expected us to be prepared for the test. JJ certainly was. JJ wrote an entire essay the night before, memorised the essay and reproduced said essay from memory, leaving me with ten minutes to spare, to write a good conclusion.

What was my mark? 15.5/25! My Literature essays are finally scoring Bs! But I want to score As at the A-Levels. Looks like I am learning to link my quotes to my points, but I must improve further. Yes, I have a passion for writing. No, I do not call myself a wonderful writer. I do want to be a wonderful writer, but I am not there yet. Sharing my essays here is part of the learning process, so feel free to critique my essays. As I always say (or rather, write): read, enjoy and evaluate.

'MacEwan's novel Amsterdam reads like a contemporary version of the morality play, albeit with a twist.' Discuss the novel in the light of this statement.

The morality play is a type of play that uses characters named after abstract qualities to teach Christian moral values to the masses. Such plays were frequently performed in Britain a few hundred years back. Amsterdam, a contemporary novel, is similar to the morality play – the characters are evil and are punished. However, there are several differences between Amsterdam and the morality play, including a twist.

The main characters in Amsterdam are Clive, Vernon and Julian and all three have deeply flawed personalities. They are very successful in their fields, but they are also very arrogant. Good politicians are supposed to understand common people and address their concerns, but for Julian, "high office had eroded his ability to talk to a stranger", because he looks down on others. Clive overrates his symphony as "the dead century's elegy" and his composing abilities. He believes he was "taking advantage of the alert passivity of an engaged creating mind", when in reality, he plagarises – an illegal and highly immoral act which casts doubt on his composing abilities - and uses the term "boldly borrowed" to defend his actions. Vernon thinks he has "gifts for persuasion and planning" and is about to "change the destiny of his country".

Clive, Vernon and Julian are also selfish and hypocritical. Clive claims he hates people who "play the genius card", but he hypocritically does so himself when he witnesses a crime, as he selfishly only cares about his music. Vernon rebukes him because "there are things more important than symphonies...they're called people", but this rebuke also reveals the selfishness and hypocrisy of Vernon, who values "circulation figures" over people. To saves the Judge, he selfishly tries to ruin Julian's career by publishing photos of the politician cross-dressing, a form of "sexual expression" that he would normally be "so keen to defend". He violates his own principles but also exposes the hypocrisy of Julian, a "family values man" who holds racist, extremist political views. Another example of Julian being a hypocrite is when he publicly calls Clive "a great man" moments after he privately tells him to "f*** off".

As in the morality play, the characters are punished for their arrogance, selfishness and hypocrisy. Once Julian's wife appears on TV to declare that Vernon has "the mentality of a blackmailer and the moral stature of a flea", the tide turns against him. People felt that "the Judge...was a disgusting newspaper" and Vernon was forced to resign. Similarly, Clive is punished for not reporting the crime, when police come to his house and take up two days which he needs to complete his symphony. His performance is a disaster and is rejected when a part is found to be a "shameless copy of Beethoven's Ode to Joy", punishment for his plagarism. The morality play often makes use of irony and poetic justice; so does Amsterdam. Vernon and Clive, supposedly very close friends and who made a pact regarding death, ultimately cause each other's downfall and even death, as they both "poisoned each other". As for Julian, "there was little appetite for his November challenge" and his political career ends in "obscurity", which could also represent the fall of the racist, extremist views that he represents in British society.

However, there are several differences between Amsterdam and the morality play. In Amsterdam, the characters have their own names, but they are like caricatures, not fully developed as the novel is short. In addition, there is a twist in that the beneficiaries of the deaths are George and Frank, who are also unpleasant people. The greedy George has a "publishing empire...rooted in an energetic exploitation of the weak-minded", while the double-faced Frank pretended to be an "office spy" but turned out to be "treacherous". Last but not least, the novel does teach or promote moral values, but these values are secular, unlike the Christian values of morality plays.

These differences reflect how British society has changed over the centuries. That secular moral values are promoted reflects the decline in religion and increasing religious pluralism (for example, due to immigration of Muslims) in British society. Clive plagarises, George publishes falsehoods to exploit ignorant and Vernon's Judge publishes provocative stuff, which reflects how the era of Thatcher, under which state funding for arts and media was reduced, led to a degradation of the media. Most importantly, that all the characters are so evil and the only good character, Molly, died before the novel started, reflects how moral standards have declined during the rule of Thatcher, as her economic policies made many people selfish and materialistic.

Thus Amsterdam is similar to the morality play and its differences do not prevent the novel from being considered a contemporary version of the morality play, which has been adapted to the context of contemporary Britain.

(800 words)

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My Project 2 Speech (The Child in You)

2010-06-02T19:07:00.001+08:00

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INT. GAVEL CLUB SESSION - AFTERNOON

Medical screenings can be fun (especially when the doctor and two trainees are friendly). This one made me feel much younger. JJ will always remain a child at heart. So yours truly has decided to share a speech about being a child at heart. This was for my CC Project 2 (which focused on content organisation), so the speech may not be as well written as my previously-posted CC Project 6 speech, but I hope its message will resonate with readers (and listeners).

Without further ado, here is the speech, with cues (and one paragraph containing sensitive information) removed:

Good afternoon, Mr. Toastmaster and fellow Gavelliers. Do you remember your childhood days? Sucking sweets, watching cartoons and wondering whether the tooth fairy really existed? Life was so simple. We were so carefree. We had few worries. Small things made us happy. Nothing could upset us for long.

When we were young, we could freely express ourselves. We could laugh when we were happy and shout when we were excited. We could ask questions when we were curious and cry when we were upset. We could act on our whims and fancies. We were not restrained by social norms or stressed by great expectations.

When we were young, we were pure inside. Our smiles radiated sincere happiness. Our love was wholehearted and unconditional. Our eyes were naïve. Our actions were honest. Our minds were free of doubts, prejudices and evil thoughts.

When we were young, we had lots of fun. Playing at parties. Playing at playgrounds. Playing computer games. Having hobbies like watching TV, collecting stamps or reading about dinosaurs. Laughing at anything and everything.

When we were young, we were curious. When we saw butterflies, we stopped to appreciate their beauty. When we heard barking, we turned to find the dogs. When we tried to walk but fell, we cried but tried again. When we opened books, our imaginations took us to new worlds. When we were alone, we thought that everything was so fascinating, that there was so much to discover.

When we were young, we dared to dream. To aspire to be doctors, footballers or singers. To think that the world was our oyster, that the sky was the limit, that we could achieve what we set our hearts upon, that nothing could stop us.

But what happened to us as the years passed? We grew up and went through a process called maturity. We learnt how to watch out for bad people. But we forgot how to trust and love good people. We learnt that life is full of challenges that we must deal with. But we forgot that life is also full of possibilities that we should envision. We learnt how to stay strong and control our emotions. But we forgot how to express our feelings. We learnt that our society is competitive, that we must be serious with our studies and work. But we forgot how to have fun, how to leave a little time for ourselves, for rest and hobbies.

As children, we wished to grow up quickly. But after growing up, we wish we could be children again. There is an inner child in each of us. An inner child that walks down memory lane with a tinge of nostalgia. An inner child that wants to explore, to imagine, to dream. An inner child that wants to let loose and have fun. An inner child that wants sincere happiness and love.

I have decided to embrace my inner child. To spare some time for my interests. To pursue my dreams. To treasure and marvel at the little things. To stay true to the values which brought me this far.

Will you embrace your inner child? It will be hard to reach out to, but it will bring you hope and happiness. Thank you. Mr. Toastmaster, please.

(544 words)

FADE OUT

My CC Project 6 Speech (You Can Make A Difference)

2010-05-21T23:50:00.006+08:00

FADE IN
INT. GAVEL CLUB SESSION - AFTERNOON

Robben, Winston, Ash and other friends are asking about the Project Speeches I write for Gavel Club (my CCA, which aims to improve verbal communication skills). Each Project Speech focuses on mastering a specific aspect of public speaking (such as body language) and once I complete 10, I will attain the Competent Communicator (CC) rank. I have finished 6 Project Speeches and am currently working on my CC Project 7 Speech.

The Inter-JC Oratorical Competition will take place tomorrow. To further support my CCA and satisfy the curiosity of my friends, I am posting my CC Project 6 Speech here. The speaking skill I must master in CC Project 6 is Vocal Variety. Therefore I decided to write an inspirational speech and include stories with dialogue, to maximise opportunities to convey messages through my voice. May you be inspired by the speech (yes, you can make a difference).

To enhance readability, I have removed cues (such as "say this loudly") and slightly changed the paragraphing. Nevertheless, the content of the speech remains intact and I hope readers realise the differences between good speechcraft and good essay writing. If the response is positive, I will post more speeches (and essays) here, but for now, read, enjoy and evaluate this speech!

Project 6 Speech: You Can Make A Difference

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Do you wish there was less violence, poverty and discrimination in this world? Do you wish people were friendlier and more considerate? Do you wish the world were a better place? Do you wish you could change the world?

But there are 5 million people in Singapore and 6.8 billion people in the world. You are just a tadpole in the ocean. Can you make a difference? Yes, you can. What you do does make a difference to those around you. Have you heard the story of Jared and Kyle?

One day, Jared saw his classmate Kyle walking home, carrying his books with a really sad look. A child knocked into Kyle, who fell down and dropped his books. Jared helped Kyle pick up his books and said: "That kid is a jerk!" Kyle smiled and replied: "Thanks!" Jared then asked: "Would you like to play football with me and my friends tomorrow?" Kyle responded with a resounding "Yes!" They talked on the way home and became best friends.

The years flew by and soon it was graduation day. Kyle was the valedictorian and he started his speech with: "Today I want to thank everyone who has helped me on this journey, especially my best friend Jared. Four years ago, everyone bullied me and I wanted to commit suicide. But when I found a friend in Jared, I realised there are still nice people, there is still hope and there is still so much life has to offer."

You never know how a small smile or act of kindness may touch someone and change a life. You never know how a small insult or bad deed can hurt someone and ruin a life. American teenager Megan Meier was insulted by an online friend she really liked. She committed suicide. Cho Seung-Hui was ostracised by everyone. He killed 32 of his schoolmates in the Virginia Tech massacre. So watch your words and actions. Make a difference by setting an example. If you wish people were more patient with others, then set an example and be more patient with those around you. If you hate bullying, then set an example - do not be a bully and do stand up for those who are bullied.

You can make a difference to the people around you. But you are swimming against the super-strong current of society. Can you make a difference to society? Yes, you can. The people around you are part of society, so the small difference you make still makes a difference to society. Have you heard the story of the girl saving the starfishes?

A man saw a girl walking along the beach, picking up starfishes and throwing them back into the sea. He asked her: "What are you doing?" She replied: "I'm saving the starfishes." He said: "But there are thousands of starfishes on the beach! How can you make a difference?" She picked up another starfish, threw it into the ocean, looked at him and said: "I made a difference to that one." The man understood. He picked up a starfish and threw it into the sea. Then several curious onlookers joined in.

A small difference can start a multiplier effect. So set an example and start the ball rolling. You can influence mindsets and influence others to take action. If a voice can influence everyone in this room, it can change this school, then change Tampines, followed by changing Singapore and eventually changing the world. If you make a small difference and many others each make a small difference, that makes a massive difference. If each student in this school saves a piece of paper a day, we could save a forest.

But you are not really talented or charismatic. You are just an ordinary person. Can you influence others and make a difference? Yes, you can. Anyone can. William Tan does record-breaking marathons to raise funds for charity. If he can achieve such great feats, so can able-bodied people like you! Everyone has their own weaknesses, but everyone also has their own strengths. Play to your strengths and contribute the way that best suits you. Have you heard the story of the two pots?

A farmer had two pots. One had a crack in the middle. The other was perfect. Every day, the farmer took the pots to a stream, filled them with water and carried them back. The cracked pot would reach home only half full as water kept spilling from it. It was ashamed of itself and told the farmer to buy a new pot. The farmer replied: "Did you see the flowers on your side of the path? You watered them. Thanks to you, my house is decorated with beautiful flowers."

So believe that you can make a difference! Steve Jobs once said: "The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do". If Lee Kuan Yew did not think he could make a difference, Singapore would still be a fishing village. If Bill Gates did not think he could make a difference, there would be no personal computers today. So if you have a dream, chase it! If you believe in a cause, support it! Go out there and make a difference! Thank you.

(886 words)

FADE OUT

That's the spirit! 09A07 class spirit!

2010-05-14T23:49:00.006+08:00

FADE IN
INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - AFTERNOON

I still remember the first day, where we chatted at the canteen as if we had been friends for years. I still remember the Orientation Camp, where we had loads of fun cheering "We rock, we stone, we pebble!" (by Chash) and playing games together. I still remember the outings, where we would eat, shop, talk and bond.

I love 09A07. We have great class spirit. But we are becoming busier. With less time for outings and even less opportunities to cheer hysterically, can we sustain our class spirit? Certainly. Class spirit goes beyond cheering and outings. We can display class spirit by studying together and supporting each other.

During Sports Day, JJ nearly died from the heat, noise and boredom, so I found shady spots to chat, first with Ben Yeo, then with Helen. I decided to rejoin my class just before prize presentation and I am glad I did, for I saw a great display of class spirit. We wrote our troubles on a balloon. Of course, what I wrote cannot be revealed here. Then we took photos of it and released it into the air. I was really touched. Thanks, 09A07!

How I wish all my troubles could just fly away, like that balloon. But we will continue to support each other. All of us are facing this monster called the A-Levels, so may we fight the monster together (for a start, we must pull up our mediocre Maths marks). Keep going, 09A07! Stay awesome!

FADE OUT

Review and reflections of attempts to reconstruct my life

2010-05-11T23:09:00.005+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Six months have passed since I realised I might have only about twelve months left to live and decided to change my life to make the most of my remaining months. My risk of dying is not that high, but I still want to change my life. I am trying but am I succeeding? Time for an evaluation:

Computing studies: During the December holidays, I spent two weeks relearning JavaScript. Then the term started and I lost my momentum, but I managed to do some simple programming in my spare time. Now I have two months to master XHTML, CSS, JavaScript and PHP, so I need to 更上一层楼!
Immersion in the media: I have rediscovered my reading habit! During breaks and bus rides, my face is often buried in a book. Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! As for C-pop, I have broadened my horizons with new songs and my appreciation of C-pop continues to deepen. But after watching five movies during the December holidays, I only managed to watch two this year, so I plan to watch more during the June holidays!
My writing dream: I carry my PEACE notebook everywhere, but rarely use it. This is not acceptable! An aspiring professional writer must actually spend time writing!
Exercise: Did lots of workouts during the December holidays, dropped the ball since the start of the year and recently resumed my weekly workouts.
Community work: My most successful area of the eight. Now I realise what a difference I can make. Change cannot be rushed though.
Friendships: I still regularly have outings with my close friends (such as Robben and Ginseng). In addition, I managed to resume contact with a few long-lost friends (notably Mira) and make a few new friends (such as Winston). Of course, for every success, I have my fair share of failures, but I am learning to accept them.
Christianity and Chinese culture: Thanks to M1, I am drawing closer to God, slowly but surely. I need to devote more time to my relationship with Him. Unfortunately, I have failed to develop a deeper understanding of the Chinese language and culture. Is my commitment lacking?
Personal development: Possibly the most important and urgent of the eight areas, but possibly the only of the eight areas where I have put in considerable effort but with little results. Why?

Progress has been made in most areas. There remains room for improvement though. What do I really need? Better time management policies so I can balance my school commitments with my new lease of life! By the way, if you consider this post boring, do note that not all my posts are meant to be interesting; some are just meant to update my friends on my life. More interesting posts are coming soon!

FADE OUT

A Tribute to Mothers

2010-05-09T19:36:00.003+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

This has been circulating for a long time, but some messages never get old. You are invited to read and relish again.

Those Childhood Days

When you came into the world, she held you in her arms.
You thanked her by wailing like a banshee.

When you were 1 year old, she fed you and bathed you.
You thanked her by crying all night long.

When you were 2 years old, she taught you to walk.
You thanked her by running away when she called.

When you were 3 years old, she made all your meals with love.
You thanked her by tossing your plate on the floor.

When you were 4 years old, she gave you some crayons
You thanked her by coloring the dining room table.

When you were 5 years old, she dressed you for the holidays.
You thanked her by plopping into the nearest pile of mud

When you were 6 years old, she walked you to school.
You thanked her by screaming, "I'M NOT GOING!"

When you were 7 years old, she bought you a baseball.
You thanked her by throwing it through the next-door-neighbor's window.

When you were 8 years old, she handed you an ice cream.
You thanked her by dripping it all over your lap.

When you were 9 years old, she paid for piano lessons.
You thanked her by never even bothering to practice.

When you were 10 years old, she drove you all day, from soccer to gymnastics to one birthday party after another.
You thanked her by jumping out of the car and never looking back.

When you were 11 years old, she took you and your friends to the movies.
You thanked her by asking to sit in a different row.

When you were 12 years old, she warned you not to watch certain TV shows.
You thanked her by waiting until she left the house.

Those Teenage Years

When you were 13, she suggested a haircut that was becoming.
You thanked her by telling her she had no taste.

When you were 14, she paid for a month away at summer camp.
You thanked her by forgetting to write a single letter.

When you were 15, she came home from work, looking for a hug.
You thanked her by having your bedroom door locked.

When you were 16, she taught you how to drive her car.
You thanked her by taking it every chance you could.

When you were 17, she was expecting an important call.
You thanked her by being on the phone all night.

When you were 18, she cried at your high school graduation.
You thanked her by staying out partying until dawn.

Growing Old and Gray

When you were 19, she paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus, carried your bags.
You thanked her by saying good-bye outside the dorm so you wouldn't be embarrassed in front of your friends.

When you were 20, she asked whether you were seeing anyone.
You thanked her by saying, "It's none of your business."

When you were 21, she suggested certain careers for your future.
You thanked her by saying, "I don't want to be like you."

When you were 22, she hugged you at your college graduation.
You thanked her by asking whether she could pay for a trip to Europe.

When you were 23, she gave you furniture for your first apartment.
You thanked her by telling your friends it was ugly.

When you were 24, she met your fiance and asked about your plans for the future.
You thanked her by glaring and growling, "Muuhh-ther, please!"

When you were 25, she helped to pay for your wedding, and she cried and told you how deeply she loved you. You thanked her by moving halfway across the country.

When you were 30, she called with some advice on the baby.
You thanked her by telling her, "Things are different now."

When you were 40, she called to remind you of a relative's birthday.
You thanked her by saying you were "really busy right now."

When you were 50, she fell ill and needed you to take care of her.
You thanked her by reading about the burden parents become to their children.

And then, one day, she quietly died. And everything you never did came crashing down like thunder.

Does that strike a chord? Our mothers may irritate us with their nagging, but they do so because they love us. Do we appreciate all that they have done for us? I admit I sometimes do not. On countless occasions, I have been a bad son or gotten into conflicts with her. But she still rocks my world.

Today I treated her to lunch. May today be more than a single day to commemorate mothers. May today be a new beginning. From today, I will try to build a better relationship with my mother and (as Jay Chou says) 听妈妈的话. So should you!

FADE OUT

More than sick. Sick of school. Not schoolsick, but sick of school.

2010-04-27T13:14:00.012+08:00

FADE IN
INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - DAY

Teachers and classmates are asking me why, during lessons this year, I have been dozing off or doing other work. Time to tell the truth. That I still enjoy studying, but no longer enjoy attending lessons.

The timetable is taxing and the lessons are tiring. Like most junior college students, I have an avalanche of assignments to complete and heavy CCA commitments. Plus personal problems that limit my efficiency at doing homework. Problems which (even my report card said) most junior college students do not face. So I shall sleep no more, for I must stay up until ungodly hours to complete my essays! Unfinished stuff is usually done during lessons (unless I doze off or am forced to participate in the lesson). I would love to do extra Maths practice, research on the GP topics I am spotting and additional analysis of my Literature set texts, but what the teachers give comes first, so my greatest features will soon be my eyebags. Besides being sleepy, I have been falling sick more often, but sometimes the MC is a blessing in disguise.

From a young age, I always had difficulty following lessons, preferring to simply read notes, do homework and, when necessary, arrange consultations. If I had enough energy, I had ways to pretend to concentrate. If I wanted to really concentrate, I would bombard the teacher with questions. But that really annoys my classmates, so why continue to put up a facade when I no longer have the energy? The past two years have shown me that trying to understand Maths lectures is a hopeless endeavour, so perhaps napping or working on tutorial questions would be a more productive use of the hour? For Economics, what I need is help with my essay skills, so if my teacher is just going through content, would writing an essay be more effective?

With less than twelve months left to live, I am loving my new lease of life. In between studying and CCAs, I need to (and do) devote time to God, reading, writing, computing studies, exercise, community work and outings. Speaking of outings, I miss my juniors (especially Robben and TWS), who are studying elsewhere (except Helen, but still, we hardly see each other nowadays). Ironically, I do not feel lonely when alone. I only feel lonely when surrounded by people whom I cannot connect with. Gab is a good friend, but there is something (I wish I knew what) lacking in our friendship (I do see encouraging improvements in certain aspects). During lessons, I sometimes wish I was somewhere else. Writing is the greatest therapy the world has to offer; when writing, my loneliness and other issues 被抛到九霄云外, which is why, whether during lessons or at home, JJ just wants to write. (The second greatest therapy is online gaming and chatting, but do I want to be addicted and fail my A-Levels? Of course not.)

Note that explaining my actions is not necessarily defending them. I consider sleeping in class morally wrong, but I hope readers understand why I do so. Maybe we could work out solutions together. For now, I must strike a balance between my studies, CCAs and my new lease of life. I need better time management skills and may need another intensive week of Writeathons.

FADE OUT

If you live for your dream, would you die without your dream?

2010-04-22T18:55:00.015+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Right now JJ is really pissed off over something. What? Some things are best left unsaid. All I will say is that this could ruin my future. As always, close friends are welcome to contact me privately to find out what happened. But writing remains the greatest therapy the world has to offer and since I am in a bad mood, I have decided to share some strange thoughts that have been crossing my mind.

I really want to and need to ace my A-Levels and then survive beyond twelve months. Of course, I will do my best, but I cannot take either for granted, so there are four possibilities. If I ace my A-Levels and survive, I would have a bright future ahead of me. If I ace my A-Levels and die, at least I would die satisfied with my results. If I fail my A-Levels and die, my results do not matter. But what if I fail my A-Levels and survive?

That would be a catastrophic calamity. My place in FASS? Gone. My dream of being a writer? Dashed. My new lease of life? Forget it. My family? Screwed. My future? Some options which others can consider are not available to me. For example, as a retainee, I cannot retake my A-Levels, and my "open secret" would affect my job prospects. Everything which I live for, would cease to exist. Then I would be physically alive, but dead inside, like others who I do not want to emulate. When I see people wasting their lives away in alcoholism, drugs and crime, I appreciate my life even more, but I would rather die than live like that.

When sportspeople have achieved all they can and further progress is not possible, they retire from their sport. Can one retire from life? People say suicide is stupid and I am inclined to agree, because life is full of possibilities and potential, but what if you cannot go any further, cannot change your circumstances and still cannot be happy? If you would die for your dream, would you die if your dream is dashed? If you do not find any meaning or happiness, what is the point of being physically alive but dead inside? This applies to more than the controversy over human euthanasia (I wonder why animal euthanasia is uncontroversial).

Please do not be unduly alarmed by this post. I currently am not in such a situation and I do not have any plans to commit suicide. These are just emo musings from a moody JJ.

FADE OUT

American Maths Competition: Analysis of Four Questions

2010-04-19T21:49:00.032+08:00

FADE IN
INT. AMERICAN MATHEMATICS COMPETITION - AFTERNOON

Last Friday, the results of the American Mathematics Competition were posted on the school website. JJ was one of only three students who scored a Distinction! Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! Though they will not send us for the second round as past batches did badly in the second round. Never mind. What matters is that yours truly has done well. During assembly this morning, the three winners went on stage. Cool, man! But I hope nobody noticed my zip fall. Awkward turtle.

A teacher commented that I am the first Arts student in the history of TP to score a Distinction at the AMC. Thus my achievement shows that Arts students can do Maths well and will hopefully inspire other Arts students (like Robben). Note, however, that during the competition, I did not think about labels like "Arts student"; I just focused on finding answers to the questions. I need such focus to similarly excel in A-Level H2 Maths, which is quite different from the Maths tested at AMC. The former is systematic and methodical, while the latter calls for logical thinking. I have decided to post worked solutions to four questions here, to show that Maths can be fun and fascinating:

Firstly, Q9: Let n be the smallest positive integer such that n is divisible by 20, n² is a perfect cube and n³ is a perfect square. What is the number of digits of n?

If n is both a perfect square and a perfect cube, then n=x² and n=y³, where x and y are positive integers. Merging the equations gives x²=y³. Since x and y are positive integers, x is a perfect cube and y is a perfect square, so x=a³ and y=a², where a is a positive integer. Therefore n=a⁶.

The prime factors of 20 are 2 and 5, so a=10 and n=10⁶=1000000, which has 7 digits.

Secondly, Q11: A palindrome between 1000 and 10000 is chosen at random. What is the probability that it is divisible by 7?

If a number is a palindrome, it is symmetrical; reversing it gives the same number. For a 4-digit number, that would mean the 1st digit is equal to the 4th digit and the 2nd digit is equal to the 3rd digit.

The smallest palindrome, 1001, is divisible by 7. Its palindromic multiples (such as 2002, 3003 and 9009) are also divisible by 7. Since the contribution of the 1st and 4th digits to the number is always divisible by 7, their value does not matter. The 2nd and 3rd digits will determine whether the palindrome is divisible by 7.

Increasing the 2nd and 3rd digits by 1 increases the number by 110. 110 is not a multiple of 7. The lowest common multiple of 110 and 7 is 770, so adding 770 to a multiple of 7 will give another multiple of 7. Therefore the palindrome will be a multiple of 7 when the 2nd and 3rd digits are either 0 or 7. That is 2 out of 10 digits and since the 1st and 4th digits do not matter, the probability that the palindrome is divisible by 7 is (2/10)=(1/5).

Thirdly, Q16: Positive integers a, b and c are randomly and independently selected with replacement from the set {1,2,3,.....,2010}. What is the probability that abc+ab+a is divisible by 3?

When factorised, abc+ab+a = a(bc+b+1). Thus abc+ab+a is divisible by 3 if a is divisible by 3 or bc+b+1 is divisible by 3 (or both). Since the set contains all positive integers from 1 to 2010 and 2010 is divisible by 3, the probability that a is divisible by 3 is 1/3.

If a is not divisible by 3 (probability of 2/3), then we must consider b and c, each of which b and c may be expressed as 3x (factor of 3), 3x+1 (1 higher than a factor of 3) or 3x+2 (1 lower than a factor of 3), where x is a positive integer. There are 9 possible combinations:

If b=3x and c=3x, (3x)(3x)+(3x)+1=9x²+3x+1 (no)
If b=3x+1 and c=3x, (3x+1)(3x)+(3x+1)+1=9x²+3x+3x+1 (no)
If b=3x+2 and c=3x, (3x+2)(3x)+(3x+2)+1=9x²+6x+3x+3 (YES!)
If b=3x and c=3x+1, (3x)(3x+1)+(3x)+1=9x²+3x+3x+1 (no)
If b=3x+1 and c=3x+1, (3x+1)(3x+1)+(3x+1)+1=9x²+6x+1+3x+1+1 (YES!)
If b=3x+2 and c=3x+1, (3x+2)(3x+1)+(3x+2)+1=9x²+9x+2+3x+2+1 (no)
If b=3x and c=3x+2, (3x)(3x+2)+(3x)+1=9x²+6x+3x+1 (no)
If b=3x+1 and c=3x+2, (3x+1)(3x+2)+(3x+1)+1=9x²+9x+2+3x+1+1 (no)
If b=3x+2 and c=3x+2, (3x+2)(3x+2)+(3x+2)+1 (no)

In 2 of the 9 combinations, bc+b+1 is divisible by 3, so the probability that bc+b+1 is divisible by 3, but a is not, is (2/9)*(2/3)=(4/27). Add the probability that a is divisible by 3 (1/3) and the total probability is (4/27)+(1/3)=(13/27).

Last but not least, Q17: The entries in a 3X3 array include all the digits from 1 through 9, so that the entries in each row and column are arranged in increasing order. How many such arrays are there?

My favourite question! Start with the following 3x3 array and try to fill it up:

TL	TM	TR
ML	MM	MR
BL	BM	BR

Since 1 is the smallest digit, no digit can be placed to its left or above it, as the digits are arranged in increasing order. Therefore TL = 1. Similarly, 9 is the largest digit, so no digit can be placed below it or to its right. Therefore BR = 9.

According to the same logic, 2 can only be placed at TM or ML, since 1 is the only number that can be placed above it or to its left. Similarly, 8 can only be placed at BM or MR.

To simplify my explanation, an array with 1, 2, 3, 7, 8 and 9 filled in (but not 4, 5 and 6) shall be called a half-full array, or HFA (this is my own terminology, not an official mathematical term). With 1 possible cell for 1, 1 possible cell for 9, 2 possible cells for 2 and 2 possible cells for 8, there are 4 ways to place 1, 2, 8 and 9 in the array. Each possible cell for 2 has (by the same logic) 2 possible cells for 3. Similarly, each possible cell for 8 has 2 possible cells for 7. With no other restrictions, there would be 4x2x2 = 16 possible HFAs. However, 2 of these HFAs have 3 and 7 both placed in the same cell (either TR or BL) and are eliminated, leaving us with 14 HFAs.

In each HFA, how many ways are there to place 4, 5 and 6? We must consider each HFA and group similar ones together:

1	2	3
?	?	?
7	8	9

1	?	7
2	?	8
3	?	9

In these 2 HFAs, 4, 5 and 6 are all in the same row or column, so there is only 1 possible way to arrange them in order. Thus these HFAs contribute 2x1=2 possible full arrays.

1	2	3
?	?	7
?	8	9

1	2	3
?	?	8
?	7	9

1	?	?
2	?	8
3	7	9

1	?	?
2	?	7
3	8	9

In these 4 HFAs, there is only 1 possible cell for 4 (ML in the first two, TM in the last two) and after 4 is placed, there are 2 ways to arrange 5 and 6. Thus these HFAs contribute 4x2=8 possible full arrays.

1	2	?
3	?	?
7	8	9

1	3	?
2	?	?
7	8	9

1	2	7
3	?	8
?	?	9

1	3	7
2	?	8
?	?	9

Similarly, in these 4 HFAs, there is only 1 possible cell for 6 (MR in first two, BM in last two) and after 6 is placed, there are 2 ways to arrange 4 and 5. Thus these HFAs contribute 4x2=8 possible full arrays.

1	2	?
3	?	7
?	8	9

1	2	?
3	?	8
?	7	9

1	3	?
2	?	7
?	8	9

1	3	?
2	?	8
?	7	9

In these 4 HFAs, 4, 5 and 6 are all in different rows and columns, so there are no restrictions on how to place them. In each HFA, there are 3x2x1 = 6 ways to place 4, 5 and 6. Thus these HFAs contribute 4x6=24 possible full arrays.

In total, there are 2+8+8+24=42 possible full arrays.

FADE OUT

Hate the sin (homosexual acts), but love the sinner (an LGBT friend).

2010-03-26T11:22:00.006+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

With my small but very diverse group of friends, I sometimes wonder how I would handle having an LGBT friend. A couple of months ago, I considered posting my thoughts on this, but thought that would be too controversial. Until Mira unexpectedly came out to me yesterday and supported the idea of openly sharing my views on this, which I now have. Please read the whole post, not just the next paragraph.

In my opinion, homosexuality is a choice. An immoral choice. An unnatural choice. Even worse is same-sex marriage, which makes a mockery of true marriage. Consider that homosexual acts cannot produce children and that LGBTs have the organs to have heterosexual intercourse. Look at the LGBT community, with their pride parades, gay bars and flamboyant dressing. The New Paper once ran an article about groups of gay men who had sex to deliberately spread AIDS to each other and recently ran another article about two LGBTs who uploaded a YouTube video of themselves having sex in a lift. A gay once added me on MSN to solicit for sex and on the Wikipedia IRC channels, I have periodically faced unprintable racist abuse from LGBTs.

On the other hand, homosexuals are humans too and as the Christian saying goes "hate the sin but love the sinner" (this applies to people of all religions though). Violent hate crimes against them are even worse than homosexual acts. Ditto for employment discrimination against LGBTs (but that depends on the job). If homosexual acts are criminalised, short jail terms may be appropriate but the death penalty definitely is not. By the way, having a high pitched voice or feminine interests does not make a guy a gay! About one-third of my close friends are female, so I may have unintentionally picked up feminine ways from them, but I am still straight (or possibly asexual). Then there are teenagers who are sexually confused - I have been through that and can say that that is fine.

If I can trust Mira with my "open secret" and she can still accept me, then I can still accept her as a friend despite my views on homosexuality. That is what true friendship is about. She is an awesome friend and her awesomeness more than makes up for her sexual preferences. After all, nobody is perfect. Nobody can be perfect. Not me. As x approaches infinity, the curve may approach an asymptote but will never exactly reach the asymptote. But perfection is not required. With only ten months left to live, I hope to keep in touch with Mira and further strengthen our friendship.

She does not make her sexual preferences an issue for me. She does not invite me to pride parades or ask me to introduce girls to her. She is not like those LGBTs. So I will not make her preferences an issue for her. For example, I will not urge her to date guys (unless she changes her preferences) or make derogatory comments about LGBTs during our private chats (the term "homophobia" is rampantly misused). Similarly, my close friends know about my "open secret" but I try not to make my secret an issue for them unless necessary.

Most of the points in my previous two paragraphs also apply to other LGBTs who wish to befriend me (or, for existing friends who come out, gain my acceptance). Though having one LGBT close friend is enough for me, for now. With my exams over, I will spend more time on outings, reading and writing, so watch for more posts this coming week!

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Literature Essay: Kureishi's plays are about differences - some apparent, others concealed, but always ugly. Discuss.

2010-03-21T13:27:00.006+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - AFTERNOON

I finally managed to get my act together and complete three TBYSes and a Literature essay in three days. Sorry, M1, for not coming today; I really need to study! After publishing this, I plan to revise my Economics and work on my final (for now) TBYS worksheet. I can hardly wait for the exams to be over, so I can read my books and go out with friends!

This Literature essay is also based on a class assignment. I wish I had infinite time, so I could do extra essays, but I do not. Anyway, please read, enjoy and evaluate the essay.

The Question:

Kureishi's plays are about differences - some apparent, others concealed, but always ugly. Discuss.

My Essay:

The plays Borderline explores the experiences of immigrants in contemporary Britain, while Birds of Passage is about economic and social problems faced by a British extended family. Due to their subject matter, both plays deal with differences – as David in Birds of Passage notes, "in England it's always them and us". The most obvious difference is between whites and Asians, but there are divisions within each racial community, notably the generation gap. Other differences – such as gender and class differences – are more subtle, but all are portrayed negatively; Kureishi makes no attempt to celebrate diversity.

Differences between whites and Asians are prominent in both plays. They are replete with examples of white racism against Asians – Amjad is the victim of a violent hate crime and both plays mention meetings held by racist groups. Such racism extends to institutions such as the police, who told Amjad to "go to hospital in a rickshaw". There are signs of Asian racism against whites, such as retaliatory violence – Haroon also suggests that the whites have "rotten souls" and someone should "burn out their eyes". Some whites may not openly discriminate but nevertheless hold prejudices, such as Ted, who "turns off the TV when a black face appears". Racial stereotypes also reflect prejudice; Eva calls making spicy food "doing an Indian" and Ravi tells Susan to "undress" because he thinks white women are sexually loose.

Reconciliation of these differences seems impossible, as Asians reject white attempts to address racism. To Anwar, Susan "[can't] represent us truly" because she is white, while to Asif, Asians "don't need [white] help". Furthermore, Maureen feels that "no one that colour can be good looking", insinuating that differences will always remain and that Asians cannot completely integrate into Britain.

However, the Asian community is divided on several aspects, such as how they address racism. Some support economic advancement, including Haroon's father, who wants "a day where you won't find a single Pakistani on the shop-floor", and Asif, who believes "[they'll] protect [themselves] against boots with [their] brains". The Asian Youth Front advocates violence, while Haroon feels Asians must "be properly influential in [Britain]". These differences of opinion cause conflict in the community – a Gujarati boy "called the Youth Front a bunch of communists" while Haroon's father considers them "punks [who] destroy everything" – which ironically hinders their mission of addressing racism.

Another difference within the Asian community lies in the generation gap. The Pakistani parents hold conservative beliefs, while the children were raised in Britain and are far more liberal; some, like Haroon, hate Pakistani culture for its "out-of-date ways" and "ridiculous religion". Amina defies Amjad by going out, because she "[wants] to be a little free", while Yasmin refused an arranged marriage. Conflict between parents and children ensues, as Amjad slaps Amina and Yasmin's father tries to "starve himself". Less obvious is that white families also break down due to the generation gap. Stella ran away from home at seventeen, became a prostitute and took drugs, straining her relationships with her family. That Paul thinks that "families are divisive" shows the decline of family values in Britain.

Some view Asian cultures as sexist, but the plays show that gender differences exist in both racial communities. Amjad, a Pakistani, tells his wife "don't think about anything" and "what do you know, woman", implying that he views females as stupid. However, in Birds of Passage, David calls Eva a "useless woman" – hinting that whites also consider females inferior. Pakistanis believe in arranged marriages, so Banoo feels that because Amina "is a girl", she "must marry soon". Although Susan is white, her parents similarly believe that she should "[marry] an architect and [have] kids".

Class differences are also examined in the plays, especially Birds of Passage. The immigrants have a strong work ethic; Eva even compares the "worthless" Paul to the "brown bastard" – a racist term – Asif, who believes in "respectability and effort". Some immigrants – especially Haroon and Asif, who proclaims that "this house is the beginning of [his] empire" – have ambitions to surpass the whites economically. They look down on other immigrants as "the scum of Pakistan" and "fucking villages". Due to their ambition, the whites fear that Britain is "being nicked from [them]" and this fear could explain the racist backlash. When their business collapses, Ted and Eva fail to acknowledge their working-class roots and David criticises them for "[voting] Tory".

In my opinion, Kureishi features many types of differences in his plays to show that both racial communities are far from monolithic blocs. He does not want audiences to excessively focus on racial issues and view him as a spokesperson for the Pakistani immigrant community.

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Economics Essay (Recessions and Economic Growth)

2010-03-15T21:45:00.005+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

What a wonderful weekend and Monday! The NUS Open House, meeting M1, then an outing with Robben and Ginseng! For more information, read my tweets.

Outings are fun, but the high life is not for JJ. Some say I have no life and they may be right. I need to study for SA1! Besides writing essays, I have six Maths TBYS worksheets to work on and have only finished one. Before starting my second, here is an Economics essay for my few-but-loyal readers to read, enjoy and evaluate!

The Question:

(a)Discuss the policies that may be pursued by a government to avoid a recession.

(b)Should economic growth be the central macroeconomic goal of a country?

My Essay (a):

A technical recession refers to two consecutive quarters of negative economic growth. To avert a recession, a government should use policies that boost aggregate demand or aggregate supply. The four main policies are fiscal policy, monetary policy, interest rate policy and supply-side policies.

A government may pursue expansionary fiscal policy by increasing government expenditure, which directly affects aggregate demand and has supply-side benefits. Alternatively, the government may lower income tax and corporate tax, giving households more disposable income to spend and making investment more profitable for firms, leading to a multiple increase in aggregate demand. However, expansionary fiscal policy may cause the government to run a budget deficit.

Expansionary monetary policy can also boost aggregate demand. Lowering interest rates and easing restrictions on obtaining credit would discourage saving, since less interest is earned on savings. Consumers would borrow more to purchase more consumer goods and firms would borrow more to finance more investment, leading to a multiple increase in aggregate demand. However, interest rates cannot be zero or negative and there are other factors keeping aggregate demand low. For example, Japan remains in recession despite near-zero interest rates, due to their culture of saving.

Depreciating the exchange rate would make exports cheaper and more attractive to foreigners. Consumers would also prefer locally produced goods to more expensive imports. Assuming the Marshall-Lerner theory holds, export revenue would rise and import expenditure would fall, leading to a rise in net exports which boosts aggregate demand. However, the cost of imported factors of production would rise. The government must also have sufficient reserves to manipulate the exchange rate.

Supply-side policies include infrastructural development for more efficient transportation and communications; education and retraining to boost productivity; and funding research on new technologies and more efficient production methods. They are costly to implement and their effects are only seen in the long run.

Given the wide range of policies, each with their limitations, and the economic consequences of recessions, the government must consider its options carefully. In practice, a combination of several policies is probably best.

My Essay (b):

Economic growth may refer to actual growth, which means the economy is producing more goods, or potential growth, which means that the economy can produce more goods but may or may not be doing so. Sustained economic growth is one of the five macroeconomic goals of a government as it leads to a rise in national income, which increases the incomes (and purchasing power) of consumers. With more goods and services available to consumers, their material standard of living increases.

With sustained economic growth, other macroeconomic goals are also achieved. For example, a rise in production would increase demand for jobs, while an increase in productive capacity would create more jobs. As a result, the unemployed and school leavers would find jobs more easily, leading to lower levels of unemployment. Unfortunately, high potential growth arising from an economic transition may lead to structural unemployment, because many workers may have obsolete skills and have not developed the skills needed to work in the new industries.

Trade with other countries would increase as the country has more final goods to export. On the other hand, the country would also import more factors of production and affluent consumers may purchase more imported consumer goods. If the increase in export revenue exceeds the rise in import expenditure, net exports would increase, leading to an improvement in the balance of payments and increased actual growth, as well as greater demand for the national currency which would appreciate relative to other currencies. The reverse scenario, that import expenditure exceeds export revenue, is also possible.

However, economic growth may also result in an increase in the general price level, also known as inflation. Inflation creates uncertainty which reduces investment and also reduces the incentive to offer loans, as a fixed sum is worth less when returned. Moreover, inflation causes the currency to depreciate and worsens inequity, as profits are adjusted for inflation but wages are usually not. Such inflation is most severe when the economy is at full employment and aggregate supply is not increasing.

There are many social costs incurred in the pursuit of economic growth. For example, higher levels of production may worsen environmental degradation. If economic growth is not distributed evenly, there would be rising inequity in society. People may lose their way of life, with less time for cultural practices, leisure and their families.

I believe that economic growth should be the central macroeconomic goal of a country. There may be conflict with other macroeconomic goals but economic growth will give the country resources to address such conflicts. For example, the government may organise programmes to preserve the environment and traditional cultures. To address structural unemployment and inequity, the government can provide better welfare and introduce courses to retrain workers.

(798 words)

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Literature Essay: Do readers of Disgrace condemn Lurie or do they understand and sympathise with him?

2010-03-12T21:21:00.004+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

JJ loves e-learning day because he need not go to school, so he can be with his girlfriend, study on his own and have a photography outing with TWS! We are becoming obsessed with Mr Rambutan (Mah Bow Tan) and cats!

We also took a photo of the tree after which our beloved Tampines is named.

But as usual, holidays are not holidays, because after holidays come exams. Holidays are for writing essays and publishing them on this blog! Here is a Literature essay, based on the class assignment. The question Miss Fernandez set was so long that I had to summarise it in the title. Please read, enjoy and evaluate the essay. There are more to come!

The Question

Note that we are not asked to condemn this being with the mad heart... On the contrary, we are invited to understand and sympathize. " To what extent do you agree with this quote in relation to Lurie's character?

My Essay:

The above quote was said by Lurie during a lesson on a poem about Lucifer. Like Lucifer, Lurie has a "mad heart", full of temptation, without regard for moral standards. The quote accurately reflects the portrayal of Lurie in the novel. Readers have a bad first impression of Lurie and are initially inclined to condemn him. However, the honest narration reveals the motivation behind his deeds and other aspects of his character, thus inviting readers to understand and sympathise with him.

In the first few chapters, readers develop a bad first impression of Lurie, when they still have a limited perception of him and do not understand him yet. They are inclined to condemn him for his deplorable actions which include having sex with many prostitutes and seducing one of his students. His belief that "technically, one can be a father at twelve" insinuates that he sees nothing wrong with underage sex and his comment that "his temperament is not going to change [because] he is too old" contributes to a possible misconception of him as a recalcitrant sex maniac.

As the novel progresses, readers learn more about Lurie. They realise that he feels lonely and alienated from society. He is separated from his family and even when living with Lucy, they are "like strangers in the same house". After "his powers fled", he had difficulty finding female company; thus he sought prostitutes and Melanie to address his loneliness, leading to a dilemma when he does not know "what, in her heart, [Melanie] is trying to be". Such alienation extends to his job – since "Classics and Modern Languages were closed", he cannot teach the subject he loves and specialises in; instead, he is forced to teach Communication Skills, despite his lack of communication skills. Moreover, Lurie "makes no impression on his students" and "none of [his three books] has caused a stir or even a ripple", suggesting that he feels a sense of mediocrity, compounded by a sense of fatalism arising from his fears over old age, as he "[practises] for the old folks' home". As readers understand his problems, they start to sympathise with him.

Through the narration, readers gradually understand Lurie's values, his romantic, idealistic desires and hence his temptation. His Byron play is symbolic of his romantic desires which ultimately come to nothing. He defends his acts with Melanie as "one of those sudden little adventures that men…have" where "she struck up a fire in him" and "Eros entered". The reference to the Greek God of sexual desire sets a fantastical tone and implies that his desires are beyond his control, that "in the heat of the act there are no doubts". To Lurie, they are part of his instincts and "no animal will accept the injustice of being punished for following its instincts"; neither would he, a human. He sees restrictions on sexual behaviour as injustice, as he is a nonconformist whose needs are "quite light...like those of a butterfly" and who does not want to issue an insincere apology. Not all readers would accept his views, but most would understand his desire and thus condemn him less.

Readers also see that Lurie's life irreversibly changes following his dismissal from the university. The robbery at the farm reflects the disempowerment of white South Africans such as Lurie and also could possibly be revenge for his sexual escapades. Upon his return to Cape Town, he finds that everything in his house has been stolen – symbolising the complete destruction of his life – and that people "[pretend] not to recognise him", indicating that society will not forgive him. Nevertheless, he tries to endure his situation and "accept disgrace as [his] state of being". He apologises to Isaacs and notes that he "caused [Melanie] at least as much trouble as she caused him", showing that he admits he is wrong. In fact, he becomes a better person as he works with Bev Shaw and becomes concerned about how animals are treated. He tells Petrus that "[the sheep] could graze" despite being for the party and acknowledges that "the more killings he assists in, the more jittery he gets". Seeing him turn over a new leaf, readers condemn him less; they may sympathise with him as they feel he was punished too harshly and deserves a second chance.

Readers may share his problems and temptations, prompting them to understand and sympathise with him. Like him, readers are humans with similar problems and temptations, so they gradually understand and sympathise with him. The novel reminds us that nobody is perfect and, through Lurie, explores themes such as disgrace, reformation and decay of society.

(774 words)

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Flown to Twitter!

2010-02-12T12:48:00.015+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S BLOG - TIMELESS

I said I would resume regular blogging once my template makeover is complete. JJ lied, sosumi. For he has joined Twitter! See the Twitter gadget? You certainly did while scrolling down to this post. Twitter is now one of the three key components of my blog, the other two being the template and the posts.

Hence in future:

Thanks to Twitter, readers can now receive daily updates about my life, such as how my latest Project Speech went.
Longer entries would mostly be essays, useful information or philosophical stuff.
I will post longer entries less frequently.
In addition, I am exploring other ways to integrate the ways I interact with my friends online (MSN, Gmail, Facebook and my blog).

This year, I have less time to write long posts. I hope this change will make my blog better and save time. Time which I must spend studying. Time for other endeavours. But I must not get too addicted to Twitter!

To be honest, blogging is becoming less enjoyable, because I can no longer be myself. No thanks to judgmental people who hate me due to my past mistakes (that incident was twelve months ago and she has forgiven me, but others have not) and would seize any opportunity to twist my words to get me into trouble. Password protection would be too inconvenient for my friends, so the alternative is to say less and give them less ammunition. I admire Mourinho but I cannot be like him; I should keep my ambitions to myself and quietly work towards achieving them.

Nevertheless, I will not let the bastards grind me down. I will keep working on the last part of the template makeover, keep blogging (as well as tweeting) and keep pursuing my dreams. Now I have to go, for a Chinese New Year service (at Riverlife) awaits me. 祝我的朋友和他们的家人新年快乐，恭喜发财，万事如意，虎变龙蒸，步步高升，学业进步，心想事成，长命百岁，身体健康，歲歲平安！今年会更好！

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Happy birthday to my blog! Present? A template makeover...

2010-01-24T21:56:00.005+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S BLOG - TIMELESS

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACK NEO!
Many may criticise your movies and I find some of their points valid, I will always support your movies. Learn from constructive criticism and do not let destructive criticism discourage you. Continue to touch people with your movies!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FIONA!
Your fans miss you and hope you quickly return to acting, but whether you do so or not, we wish you all the best in your life and hope you remain happy.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BLOG!

Dear blog, I can't live with you, but I can't live without you either. Thanks for being a part of the past twelve months of my life and helping me find solutions to many challenges. I cannot give Jack Neo or Fiona a present, but I can give you a present. A template makeover which entails:

A collection of ten Chinese songs. Which of the ten will play when you visit my blog? My "armour" will tell you.
A large banner at the top, proudly declaring that "JJ just wants to write!" (pending)
A new poem about goodbyes that appears when you leave my blog. (pending)
Another poem about mysteries that appears when you right-click. (pending)
A new, scrolling status bar message, full of quotes from Macbeth.
A "Don't click here!" button. Disobedient people will be punished with a "How well do you know JJ?" quiz.
A "Click here instead!" button. If you have a brain, please follow the instruction on the button!
Minor edits to the "the Knight" section, including a link to my Blogger profile.
New "armour" - random Bible verses full of divine guidance!
More Random Memories and all the images now have (alt text) descriptions.

Regular blogging will resume once I have finished the makeover, hopefully by the end of the month. To Robben, Ginseng, Helen and other loyal readers (not that I have many), thank you for your support!

FADE OUT

First to Bata, Then Back to School!

2010-01-16T21:12:00.005+08:00

FADE IN
INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - MORNING

JJ does not buy shoes from Bata (which some say stands for Buy And Throw Away) but still has to head back to school, the 每个人都曾经坐过的监牢. JJ is at the top of the food chain, but many things are eating at him. JJ has entered a crucial year, but worries whether he can handle the massive challenges ahead.

Starshine asked why I was so quiet in class this week. The answer is that I decided to stop bombarding teachers with questions and to keep my thoughts to myself, since nobody wants to listen to them anyway. Why must my juniors and my CCAs be so screwed? Why must TP constantly change our teachers, replacing good tutors with mediocre ones? Why is JJ so moody? I apologise to all friends who have been affected by my moodiness, especially Robben.

Speaking of Robben, he cannot join me here, so besides Gab, who can JJ talk to? With Lance retained, I now hang out with Peanut and Willis more often. They are fun to chat with, though if we shared common interests, our conversations would be less awkward turtle.

Just because I did not feel like talking, Miss Fung thought I was sleeping during her tutorial. Really ridiculous, but perhaps I did look sleepy, as I have been heading to bed at 2am on most days, due to my mountain of unfinished holiday assignments. At least Ms Varella declared me her "favourite student" because I finished all six Reading Logs! But JJ just wants time to immerse in writing and computing!

The upcoming week will be spent mugging for tests (if I fail, I would go home at 9pm everyday due to remedials) and preparing a template makeover, so I will not be blogging. Maybe I should join Twitter to give friends quick updates, as I will have less time for blogging. Good night!

FADE OUT

What is my personality type?

2010-01-08T08:38:00.012+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Seeing a Facebook Wall post by Robben stating that he "is an ENFJ", a curious JJ asked what that meant. So he told me about the MBTI assessment and the sixteeen MBTI personality types (click link for more information). As someone who constantly seeks to understand myself (and others) better, in order to improve as a person, I was intrigued. Robben said I am probably an INFP and suggested I take an MBTI test to determine my personality type.

Per his suggestion, I took five online MBTI tests, but the tests could not come to a consensus on my personality type! Tests on Team Technology and HumanMetrics indicated that I am either INFP or INFJ, while a test on Similar Minds could not decide between INFP and INTP. Another test on Facebook suggested that I am INTP or INTJ. Only the test on Personality Test Centre gave only one result: INTP.

Robben and JJ continued discussing our personality types, first through Gmail, then through our Tuesday outing. He considers me an INFP because, according to him, I am an introvert with deeply held convictions and a passion for writing. True to a large extent. Like the typical INFP, I am idealistic and ambitious, setting myself very high standards when I pursue activities or causes with passionate devotion. I am also reflective and philosophical (if you read my blog, you should know), attaching hidden meanings and symbolism to everything. Unfortunately, I tend to have periods of inner emotional turmoil, due to my inability to express myself and the harsh reality of a world hostile to my identity.

But some of my traits differ from those of the typical INFP. Unlike the typical INFP, I prefer to plan ahead and am constantly frustrated by disruptions to my schedules. This suggests I may be an INFJ, but I do not have the people skills of a typical INFJ. I am also more logical and analytical than the typical INFP. The dynamic interplay between my reason and my emotions is an integral aspect of my life (an example would be how I do not go after my SACSS crushes). Thus I may be an INTP and cannot rule out being an INTJ.

Perhaps my personality is too complex for personality tests to evaluate! People cannot be stereotypically pigeonholed into one of the sixteen personality types. Even if I am an INFP (which I think I am), some of my traits may not match those of the typical INFP, as there would be considerable internal diversity among INFP people. Furthermore, personality develops over time and is influenced by many factors, such as past experience. My personality will continue to change and I will continue to endeavour to understand it.

FADE OUT

Too many outings!

2010-01-05T21:10:00.007+08:00

FADE IN
INT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - DAY

Only five days of 2010 have passed and JJ has already gone for four outings. One with my cousins, one with M1, one with Gab and one with Robben. Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya ya, yippee yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! But what happened to my resolution to return to mugging mode?

FIRST OUTING: WITH COUSINS

I usually enjoy meeting my cousins, but this meeting was not just awkward turtle, but downright epic fail and a terrible start to the new year. Since I attended the Saturday service at Riverlife, I attended late, ate leftovers (slightly exaggerating) and had little time left over to chat with cousins. Telling them jokes and hugging Wenting is cool, but I should get to know them better - if only we had taken a photo together!

On the way out, clumsy JJ toppled some food over and earned a scolding from an aunt. As she drove me home, she made comments about my retention (that was a year ago, stop harping on it). My cousins defended me (thanks) and in the ensuing argument, we missed the correct expressway exit. TP students don't screw things in - we screw things up. (By the way, though some TP students compare TP to SR to make themselves feel better, most such comparisons are done to belittle TP, saying that we suck like SR.)

SECOND OUTING: WITH M1

As noted above, I attended the Saturday service. JJ loves insightful sermons. When I become a successful writer, how would I use my money (and writing) to help others? Also briefly met the incoming batch of M1 members and confirmed that I will attend the camp.

During cell, we played a game where the losers have kaya smeared on their faces. My group lost twice. Guess what JJ did? Stick out his tongue and have them smear the kaya on the tongue. When someone smeared kaya on my cheek, I grabbed his leg and used it as a towel. That was funny! After the game, Slim led a discussion about marriage and Christianity. Some may consider his views sexist, but marriages would not work if either the guy or the girl does not fulfil his or her roles and responsibilities. Since I believe I cannot handle such responsibilities, I am planning to avoid romantic relationships, much less marriage.

Parting is such sweet sorrow. We had nostalgic affirmations for the graduating batch, along with delicious pizza, chicken wings and sandwiches. Dear graduating memebers, though you are leaving, memories of all of you and all our wonderful times together will remain with me forever. All the best in your future endeavours and continue developing your relationship with God! Ivan and Shirleen may return as leaders; I certainly hope so!

THIRD OUTING: WITH GAB

Just realised our Maths holiday assignment was three worksheets, called Revision Sets (I thought we only had to do Tutorial 12)! Set 1 and Set 2 have 12 questions each while there are 13 questions in Set 3. Gab had not done his either, so we decided to meet and work on the questions together.

But both of us forgot our formula sheets and my calculator was low on batteries! So we could only do a few questions and ended up chatting. Studying together can be effective but we must concentrate (and bring all our stuff)! Then Gab needed to go to Sim Lim Square and I joined him, since my printer was running out of ink. The ink cartridges there are really cheap (perhaps the shops reaped external economies of scale)! On the bus rides there and back, we discussed our dreams. Although we did not accomplish much, JJ enjoyed the outing. Our friendship is deepening and has been relatively conflict-free for the past couple of months; may it stay that way!

FOURTH OUTING: WITH ROBBEN

Robben has known JJ for four years but still failed to recognise the guy wearing a Chelsea cap. Tsk tsk. Thankfully JJ could spot Robben from behind. After a delicious breakfast at Ya Kun, he let me enter his house for the first time! For his uncle had just started a business and Robben wanted to sell me stuff. We also used his computer and I showed him around Hattrick. May he and Ginseng become Hattrick addicts!

As intellectual people, we enjoy intellectual discussions and we certainly enjoyed the one we had today. Philosophical stuff, such as how our personalities are shaped by factors such as past experience. I will soon blog about personality types. For now, I need to read the books I borrowed when we went to the library, as well as complete all my holiday homework.

FADE OUT

My merry Christmas celebrations!

2009-12-27T16:47:00.007+08:00

FADE IN
INT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - DAY

Wishing all my friends MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Christmas is called Christmas because Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ. But people are forgetting its true meaning. Christmas celebrations are being secularised and overly commercialised. Traditional Christmas symbols, such as nativity scenes, are being replaced by secular, commercial symbols such as reindeer. Some Christians, notably in the USA, feel that Christmas is under attack, as governments and secular environments are censoring mentions of the holiday.

I acknowledge that now people of all religions celebrate Christmas and agree that religious harmony is important. There should be space for secular celebrations, but there should also be space for Christians to celebrate Christmas in a Christian way. Should we have reindeer in churches? By the same token, I am fine with the greeting "Happy Holidays" and would even use said greeting with non-Christian friends. But to completely censor mentions of Christmas (such as by calling Christmas trees "holiday trees") or deny its Christian roots is ridiculous.

Did you know that "X" is a Greek abbreviation of "Christ", hence the term "Xmas"? Although I do not use the term, I am fine with others using said term. The widespread opposition to the term is due to a misunderstanding of its intent. I hope there are no such misunderstandings of my comments above!

The Christmas service at Riverlife last Sunday was cool, man! The Christmas carols sounded more moving when sung in Chinese. Perhaps I should find more Chinese-language Christian songs, especially Anglican ones. A former drug addict gave a meaningful yet funny sermon about how he wasted over two decades of his life and God gave him the strength to turn over a new leaf. Miracles do happen and JJ is praying for a miracle next year. I must continue to seek His guidance and obey Him.

Then I went for a Christmas party and sleepover with M1. Most of them live in condominiums and JJ feels a little (0.1¹⁰) inferior. But they are awesome and so was the party. The food was good! Chicken wings, nuggets, fishballs and, best of all, marshmallows dipped in hot chocolate - typing this makes my mouth water. Speaking of water, the drinks were cool but few. If only they had Mountain Dew! There was some alcohol, which two guys drank, but despite being 18, JJ will not drink even a single drop!

They were very understanding when I said I needed some time off to read. Looks like I am becoming a bookworm! Then there were party games, which JJ is epic fail at (causing some awkward turtle moments) but nevertheless had loads of fun. Unfortunately, we all slept at 4am and woke up at 11am, so we did not have time for more activities in the morning and decided not to have lunch together.

Today, my mother took me to another Christmas service, which I enjoyed despite being tired. After the service, I managed to meet a very important person. You know how the media and many industries work on a referral basis? I shall not elaborate because I do not want to sleep at 4am again. Good night!

FADE OUT

Living and not drifting...

2009-12-22T16:41:00.005+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

In this world, there are many people who live without a sense of purpose. They just drift from day to day. They wake up, go through the motions at school or work, stone some more at home and then sleep. Some even turn to gangs and drugs. What a pity. Why must they waste away their entire lives? Perhaps they are plagued by troubled pasts or problems in the present? Broken families and other social ills are becoming more commonplace, no thanks to the spread of decadent values. Sigh.

That is not the kind of life I want to lead. Life is too long and yet too short. So I should live life to the fullest. My life may be screwed, but I am determined to overcome my challenges. Six years ago, I wrote myself a wonderful story. A beautiful story that still influences me. But six years have passed and I cannot rely solely on that story. Now is the time to write myself another story. A new and even better story.

Although I now believe I can and probably will survive, I shall still tell myself (and others) that I have twelve months left to live. Thanks to such thoughts, I have forced myself to change, to live a more fulfilling life so I have less regrets. Now JJ really enjoys going out with friends, reading books, watching movies and messing with computers. Is this part of my upcoming story?

There remains a small chance that a disaster may strike. But do not worry about JJ. I will keep changing for the better, both to reduce the small chance and to lead the life I want to lead.

"In the end, it is not the years in your life that count. It is the life in your years." (Abraham Lincoln)

FADE OUT

Being not perfect is fine!

2009-12-08T23:20:00.008+08:00

FADE IN
INT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - DAY

Ginseng and I have diametrically opposite ideological stances on life, leading to recent conflict between us. To him, my driven, idealistic approach makes me try to control other people and events. On the other hand, I see his carefree pessimism as resigning himself to a life of mediocrity. But I do realise the merits of his views. Things will not always turn out the way I want them to, so I must make the best out of bad situations and appreciate what I have.

On 21 November, Ginseng and JJ went to Anime Festival Asia (AFA) with Ash. What a letdown. All the activities there were for seasoned otakus. AFA is not for learning the basics of anime! To compound matters, we kept feeling sick and getting lost. But JJ should look on the bright side. I finally managed to meet Ash and certainly enjoyed chatting with him and Ginseng. At AFA, I found more inspiration for my writing. So AFA was not that disappointing.

On 4 December, Ginseng and JJ took a trip to Pathlight School. What a disappointment. We did not meet Denise Phua. As the joke from Just Follow Law goes, "you need to write in, photocopy two copies on both sides; it will take three working days to process". But JJ should look on the bright side. Their library was full of interesting books which were useful for my research. After leaving the premises, Ginseng and I had another great chat and ate at Ya Kun. So the visit was not that disappointing.

On 5 and 6 December, JJ entered a chess tournament. What a disappointment. One win, one draw and five losses from seven games, for a score of 1.5/7. The computer which does the Swiss pairings hates me - I was constantly paired with much stronger opponents, even in the final round! But JJ should look on the bright side. I bagged a memorable upset in my second game. In fact, based on my rating and the average ratings of my opponents, my expected score was 0.9 points, so I have overperformed. Last but not least, playing such strong opponents was a valuable learning experience. So the tournament was not that disappointing.

"In life, you win some, lose some." (Leigh Botts in the novel Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary)

"Strive for excellence, not perfection." (H. Jackson Brown Jr.)

Perhaps I could apply this lesson to other things, such as my writing and SLP. Settling for less is fine and is not selling out on myself; it is merely being practical.

FADE OUT

Those ambiguous feelings...

2009-12-04T11:13:00.013+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Your friends see you chatting with someone of the opposite sex. They inevitably ask you whether you like said someone. Awkward turtle. Because even you cannot tell whether your feelings towards said someone are platonic (just friends), romantic or a crush (also known as infatuation or "puppy love"). Sounds familiar to you? Certainly sounds familiar to JJ.

Like most teenagers, I have had my fair share of crushes, most of whom were from SACSS (don't know why). Unlike most teenagers, I go no further than chatting with my crushes as casual friends. Not just because mixing with them is awkward turtle (and it is), but because my head rules my heart. My head tells me that crushes can crush people and that if one marries based on puppy love, one will lead a dog's life.

Such views can be attributed to a phase JJ had in secondary school. Seeing my peers nursing broken hearts and my own failed attempts to socialise with girls, complicated by personal issues I shall not go into here. I believed I would never be able to handle romantic relationships and thus vowed to avoid them, to the extent that some suspected that yours truly may be gay (he is not and he considers homosexuality immoral). At that age, avoiding relationships was probably a good decision, but this year, I have slightly softened my stance.

Then JJ reunited with Sonia. My feelings towards her remain unclear, but she was, and still is, the girl I am closest to (sorry, Helen, Furball and others). We share uncanny similarities that sometimes make me feel that we were "made for each other". Our reunion gave me hope that I may eventually be able to handle a romantic relationship, though not necessarily with her. When I tell her (on MSN) that "if I get married, Singapore would win the World Cup", she would respond with "you'll get married before Singapore makes it past qualifiers"! Thanks for the encouragement, Sonia! <3

After our reunion, we agreed to keep the status of our relationship (platonic or romantic) ambiguous until we were ready to make a decision. Two months passed and in an MSN conversation last night, she said I was "not romantic material" for her and she had been dropping hints (which I failed to pick up) for some time. That somewhat dashed my hopes. If even she considers me an unsuitable partner, who would want me? Yes, it hurts, but I will deal with the hurt, which pales in comparison to the hurt she caused me four years ago. After all, if I have "12-16 months left to live", why should I worry about romantic relationships?

"Love is one big illusion I should try to forget" (The song That's Why by Michael Learns to Rock)

FADE OUT

M1 In Review

2009-11-30T22:26:00.010+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

After being part of M1 for several months, I feel that my cell group are like my cousins. M1 is full of nice and friendly people, who accept each other for who we are. When together, we need not put up facades. We can be our quirky selves, like playful kids, adding to the vibrant atmosphere of our cell. We can honestly share about our lives during our insightful and carthatic discussions, which I freely contribute to and really enjoy. Some church cells are like prison cells, but our cell is like a solar cell, transmitting energy. Each of us is undergoing a journey to understand God better and develop a deeper relationship with Him. All of us are supporting and advising each other on this journey. M1 rocks my world! JJ loves M1! Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya ya, yippee yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! <3

Their similarity to my cousins extends to the negative aspects too. Since M1 is a large group and always hangs out together as a large group, JJ lacks opportunities to develop close friendships with individual members of M1. That we have few common interests does not help. Sometimes I have awkward turtle moments with them because I do not know them well enough. Worship is another source of awkward turtle moments, as I am unfamiliar with most of the songs.

Unfortunately, the JC-2s will soon leave us and a year later, JJ will have to say goodbye to M1 (and will miss everyone). A few of my friends grew up with their cell groups and I wish I could as well. Furthermore, I thought an Independent church would help me relearn the basics and rebuild my relationship with God, which Riverlife has, but as a Hildan, I have Anglican roots. If I am still alive sixteen months later, I may switch to an Anglican church with cell groups that stay together for many years. If I am not alive then, why should I worry?

FADE OUT

Thinking too much?

2009-11-24T21:23:00.020+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

People tell me that I think too much. After reading my posts about my "impending death", Sonia went "relaaaaax", Gab told me to focus on my A-Levels and Ginseng dismissed my worries as rubbish. Perhaps they are right, but their responses made me think even more. Today, I realised that I was thinking too much about how I was thinking too much. FML

But JJ cannot stop thinking too much. That is the way I am. Reflective by nature. The philosophical side of JJ will not go away. It has made me a better person and spurred me on. It has helped me overcome so many obstacles over the years. Experience has shown that if I do not think, I will screw up.

In chess, White has 20 possible first moves and Black has 20 possible replies. After just one pair of moves, there are 400 possible positions. How about for an entire game? There are over one goggol (10 with 100 zeroes) possible games of chess. Even if we discard ridiculous ones (such as both players dropping pieces on purpose), the number would still be astronomically gargantuan.

To JJ, life is a game of chess, with nearly infinite possibilities. Each of the 6.8 billion people on this earth (and the billions who are now dead) will have a unique game (for those who die as infants, theirs could be Fool's Mate). I do not know how my game will turn out and I cannot predict beforehand which of the many possible outcomes will occur.

There are so many variables - some within my control and some beyond my control. If I play Black, I cannot control how White plays and have to react to his moves. I can only control the Black pieces and play at my best. But even my best may not be enough, especially if White is the chess machine Hydra. Unfortunately, the challenges I will face in 2011 seem as powerful as Hydra.

In chess and life, I need to plan ahead or I will lose. Since I cannot predict or control White's moves, I need to prepare different responses to different White moves. But there are too many possible outcomes and I cannot prepare for every single one, no matter how hard I try to (and I do try to, which is bad).

So what should I do? Be willing to accept failure. Keep doing my best and not be deterred by the prospect of failure. Be prepared for failure and have backup plans, while not overplanning. Make the most of what I have. Thus my determination to lead a happier and more fulfilling life next year, doing the things I love, so I can accept my "impending death" while doing my best to avoid it.

In SHSS, the teachers used to tell us: "Do your best and let God do the rest". JJ is naturally insecure and has difficulty trusting anyone, even God. But His intervention has saved me from many a sticky situation and He will help me survive this. I shall have faith in him and relax. No point worrying - time to get cracking!

FADE OUT

Where is the love?

2009-11-20T21:09:00.014+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

People killing people dying, children hurt and you hear them crying. Would you practice what you preach? Would you turn the other cheek? Father, Father, Father help us, send some guidance from above, 'cause people got me got me questioning, where is the love? (Black Eyed Peas song Where is the Love?)

"Why all the people need to fight? Can ask them don't fight? Then got peace and we no need to study all the wars." (Helen, during a History lecture on the Indo-Pakistan conflict)

Everyone laughed at Helen when she said that, but her point is very valid. Why must such violent conflicts prolong for decades? Why is there such prejudice and discrimination between different communities? Why is the world plagued with problems like poverty? Why do even people in the developed world face so much emotional suffering?

Perhaps the answer lies in human nature. People - including myself - are naturally selfish, seeking personal gain at the expense of others. People - including myself - instinctively divide everyone into groups, leading to stereotyping, prejudice and discrimination. Perhaps these tendencies were necessary for hunter-gatherer societies to survive in prehistoric times.

Deep down inside, everyone needs and wants to be appreciated, to be loved. A little love can make a big difference. But where is the love? People keep chasing their selfish desires at the expense of others. They stress themselves out and show their prejudices. In the end, they suffers so much that they become defensive and put on facades, afraid to express their emotions and reveal their true selves. To them, doing so exposes their weaknesses for others to exploit.

Is it time for us to take off our masks? To show more love to others? To fight our natural selfishness and prejudices? Tuesdays with Morrie encourages us to reject popular culture and develop our own personal culture. I would love to start the ball rolling, but like everyone else, do not dare to (except with myself and my closest friends). So how? So many questions, so few answers.

P.S. We received our result slips today. Mine said "promoted". The remarks said that I "have successfully adapted to college life", but we all know otherwise. To friends who have promoted, congratulations and keep up the good work! To those who are conditionally advanced, do study hard for the advancement test! As for the retainees, please do not be too upset, for retaining is not the end of the world. You need some love - JJ would be happy to offer you support and advice on using the extra year wisely.

FADE OUT

Returning to my roots...

2009-11-15T17:25:00.007+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

When I was young, I was a loner. As an only child, I had to keep myself amused when my parents were working. I had few friends in school and was often bullied. Of course, I have changed considerably, but I cannot deny how the first eleven years of my life were like. I cannot deny their constant influence on the rest of my life. Although I do not wish to return to those times, I do miss certain aspects of them and thus want to return to my roots (as noted in my previous post).

Back then, JJ was a voracious reader. I would devour novels, encyclopedias and chess books. Losing myself in the wonderful worlds the books took me to, I would spend hours doing nothing but reading. Watching movies was another favourite pastime of mine - my mother bought me plenty of VCDs and would regularly take me to the cinema. How much free time I had back then.

All writers started as readers and all that reading prepared JJ to be a writer. In primary school, I would make my mother buy me plenty of notebooks and I would finish them all (then ask for more). My fertile imagination would come up with new worlds, interesting games or strange stories - including fanfic, before I knew what fanfic was.

As a JC student, my free time is limited, but I will make time for activities (and people) that really matter to me. JJ has decided to resume regular reading and thus went to Tampines Regional Library last Tuesday to borrow six books (I have finished four). Of course, much of the fiction I used to enjoy no longer suits me, so I must find new favourite authors. Similarly, I want to start writing again, but I realise what I wrote then was really amatuerish. Time to finally chase my dream of being a professional writer, which entails producing quality works that will sell well. Time must be set aside to work on my works, for if I do not write, I do not deserve to call myself an aspiring writer.

I love writing, but I also love computers, to the extent that I am dating mine! While most primary school children would just play computer games, I explored software settings and learnt basic programming. One of my biggest regrets is that I failed to use my potential as a computing prodigy. Perhaps my childhood explains my current addiction to the online world, an addition I must overcome for the sake of my future. Online games and communities are interesting, but will not make JJ technically-inclined or a programmer (my very first ambition). How about learning new programming languages?

What else did young JJ enjoy doing? Sitting quietly and thinking. About my life and the world around me. What adults call reflection. Everything was so fascinating. Even studying was fun. I should continue to reflect on my life (as I am doing now) and constantly seek to improve myself. I shall retain my youthful innocence, idealism and ambition. I must make studying fun again (and polish my Chinese).

At eighteen, I already feel old. But I want to remain young at heart, to return to my roots and to stay true to myself. I will never stop dreaming that the world is my oyster and I can do anything I set my heart on. I would rather delude myself than have a miserable last 12 months.

FADE OUT

12 months left to live?

2009-11-11T23:03:00.007+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

For several months, JJ only worried about promoting. With promotion secured, JJ now has time to look ahead and has many more things to worry about. The Service Learning Project was merely the tip of the iceberg, hence this post. As the title says:

Imagine that JJ only has 12 months left to live.

Am I joking? Only partially. Like many guys, I occasionally joke about that. Unlike many guys, I am starting to take the joke seriously as that draws nearer. Especially with Gab (and someone else) constantly reminding me that I am unlikely to survive unless I really buck up.

My close friends understand my circumstances and would understand the context behind these comments. If you do not, go ahead and speculate that JJ has terminal cancer or something. Feel free to ask me through private channels - if (and only if) I believe I can trust you, I will tell you.

Life is about overcoming obstacles. I have defied tremendous odds and achieved feats I never thought I was capable of. As always, I will do my best and hope for a miracle, for I believe that miracles happen when I do my best. But this is the biggest challenge I have ever faced and I cannot ignore the overwhelming odds in favour of failure, as well as its consequences. I fear that my luck would finally run out and even my best would not be good enough.

Several friends have told me to stop worrying. For worrying is bad for health and can cause people to procrasinate or screw up. But I believe worry can also be a powerful force of good. Worry can help guard against complacency and spur people into action. For example, if I was not worried about being kicked out, would I have studied so hard for Promos? I shall again use my worry to drive me to prepare for this challenge, to develop the skills I need to extend my life.

"We all grow up to die." (Starshine, in a Facebook Wall post)

"Death is the destination we all share." (Steve Jobs, in a speech he gave at Stanford University at 2005)

TWS recently told me that someone close to him has been diagnosed with cancer. Life is short, yet we only think about death when it stares at us in the face. I read Tuesdays with Morrie last Tuesday and particularly liked the quote: "When you learn how to die, you learn how to live".

Thus I have decided to live the most out of my remaining 12 months. Of course, I will study hard for the A-Levels and seek SGC achievements, but I want the process to be pleasure, not a chore. I want to pursue my passions. I want to finally do certain things I have wanted to do for years. I want to be a better person, the person I have always wanted to be. I want to spend time with the people who rock my world. I want to return to my roots. I want to live without regrets.

Time to stop procrasinating. Time to start living life to the fullest.

P.S. Ash will be enlisted in December and Ginseng early next year (exact date yet to be confirmed). I am equally worried for them. Hang in there, friends, and survive no matter what! Share your experiences with me and give me hope! All the best!

FADE OUT

Sadly Lost Prospects...

2009-11-07T22:10:00.009+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Why on earth did I sign up as a Service Learning Project leader? To chase a dream that has now been dashed. Now JJ is left to brood over sadly lost prospects.

Teachers say that Service Learning Projects should be done from the heart, not just for the SGC achievement. I had a proposal for a project that I could lead from the heart. A project to work with a community I truly care about. A project that means a lot to me. A project that I want to do while still alive. I know my leadership skills are virtually non-existent, but I believe that if I work with this community, I would have the chance to gradually develop leadership skills and my passion for the project would help compensate for my lack of leadership skills.

I remember when I wanted to hold discussions about the project, but Willis, Chash and the rest just said "after Promos", then "after PW". Not wanting to push and possibly alienate them, I just went "fine, whatever, we can wait". Finally Gab contacted the organisation and found that they wanted a six-month project. JJ would be happy to work with them for six months (or even during the A-Levels), but if 09A07 agree to that, Singapore would win the World Cup. Gab suggested we abandon my proposed project and simply do an SLP offered by the school. Perhaps this is the price we must pay for procrasinating on the project.

Now I regret signing up as an SLP leader (I did so only to carry out my proposed project) and have no reason to remain one (other than an SGC achievement). I have been very selfish (for only caring about my dream and failing to consider the class) and should have known that things would turn out this way. With my non-existent leadership skills, I would probably screw up the SLP if I am not working with my community. Should I carry on as an SLP leader or should I resign? Gab says resigning would be very irresponsible and selfish.

Theoretically, there is still hope. We may find another organisation where I could still work with the same community. Singapore may win the World Cup. Ginseng (insert "class conspiracy" theory here) suggested he, Ash and I organise an external SLP with a suitable organisation. Sadly, none of these options seem viable. How long should I hold on to hopes that exist only in theory? Doing so is like hoping a chess grandmaster would miss a mate in one.

My life is a movie but am I writing the screenplay? Probably only part of it. Being able to write the entire screenplay would mean being allowed to write part of others' screenplays as well. If God is writing the screenplay, I pray that He will show me mercy and grant me His favour. JJ desperately needs a deus ex machina to fix this mess.

FADE OUT

One of those love-hate relationships...

2009-11-04T21:36:00.004+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Do you know how much you are hurting me? Do you have any idea how helpless I feel as I see you screw up your life? Do you want to screw up my life as well? Do you enjoy disrupting all my plans? Do you have fun giving me hell?

Do you realise how your harsh words and thoughtless actions affect me? Do you have any idea how many times I almost cried myself to sleep or nearly broke down in school, because of you? Do you know that I have even contemplated suicide because of you? Do you even care that you are hurting me?

Do you think I hate you that much? Do you understand that, despite what you do, you still mean a lot to me? Do I matter to you? Do you wish we were closer? Do you realise it takes two hands to clap? Do you see how I tried to strengthen our ties, but failed? Do you think that stubbornly denying everything is a good idea?

FADE OUT

Friendship Insights II

2009-11-01T11:36:00.039+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Many of my friends have read my original Friendship Insights post and shared their thoughts, some of which I quote below, unedited:

Ak - "I totally understand where you're coming from. I've never really had that many friends and the friends that I have had tend to come and go...I think that everyone, in at least some small way feels alone. That's why we're always searching for that perfect person to be in our life."
Ami - "ever considered taking up journalism as a career..? love your post; great insights about your friendships =)"
Arjun (Robben) - "I would definitely want to cherish my friendship with you...you are really special and it is nice to have a friend whom I can chat with about anything under the sun. I think sometimes we take our friendships for granted...I think we should look at retaining good friendships for life. Friends mean different things to different people. I feel friends are people whom you can share things with, who understand you, who are there for you when you need them and most of all, friends are people who keep your secrets to themselves."
Furball - " i think that what you said made sense...like not just for yuo, but for me ( and i'm sure other ppl as well)...i too find it hard to make new friends or just talk to some of my old friends...and then after leaving sch, ppl just tend to move on, only a few keep the friendship alive...[your insights] are thought provoking as well"
Mira - "very true...this part...Friendships take years to build but days to destroy...not days but minutes...its sad how people u know become people u knew"

With one post, some old friendships have suddenly been rejuvenated and regular readership of my blog has increased. Recent months have seen many developments in my social life. Ginseng disappeared from cyberspace for a month, while I found that a few schoolmates I regarded as friends were actually trying to sabotage me. Several misunderstandings with Gab (which have been resolved) prompted me to start doing Writeathons, then I joined Riverlife and had that reunion with Sonia. Finally I have four "closest" (or "special") friends: Gab, Ginseng, Sonia and Robben.

These developments have given me more insights into friendship. I have found more answers but there are even more unanswered questions out there, so I have plenty to learn. With my Friendship Insights posts, I hope that my friends and I can find more answers together. Having promoted, I finally have the time to think and type these out, in response to popular demand. So without further ado, here are the insights:

Some of my most memorable friendships are with people whom I have never met in person and only know through online communities such as Google Groups. I prefer online chats to offline ones, even with real-life friends, whom I keep in touch with through Facebook and MSN. Online communication is easier - we only process words and have time to think up responses - and less awkward - so I can discuss sensitive stuff I dare not discuss in person (such as how I confide in Starshine on MSN). But am I treating my online friends fairly? The saying goes that "on the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog", so I never reveal my real name or "open secret" online. Should I start trusting a few close online friends (such as JiaTing, my cyber-sis) with this information? Of course, I must recognise the differences between real-life and online friendships, but I should not unduly discriminate against my online friends.

Speaking of discrimination, Singapore places great emphasis on racial harmony, but ironically, I have learnt more about racial harmony from my online friends than in Singapore! My online friends come from all over the world and JJ enjoys telling them about Singapore, while learning about other cultures. Thanks to them, I am learning to value diversity and now have many Malay and Indian real-life friends (Gab and Robben come to mind). But diversity goes beyond racial diversity. My friends include people from broken families or with neurological disorders, a reformed gangster and a guy who broke a severe, unspoken taboo in his community. Since I have plenty of problems, I strive to avoid judging others base on their background. What matters to me are common interests and personality, so their issues do not faze me and I hope mine do not faze them. In fact, our differences can be a source of strength, as we help each other handle the challenges life throws at us. Life is tough and how can we handle everything without the support of our close friends?

So true friendships can transcend many boundaries. If only people were less judgmental. Unfortunately, being judgmental is part of human nature and everyone, including JJ, has trouble taking off their tinted glasses. Therefore first impressions last although they are not always accurate. Once I leave a bad first impression on someone (and I do that easily without even trying), they would never want to talk to me again. Awkward turtle.

When we judge, we forget that everyone has flaws and nobody is perfect. I try to acknowledge my weaknesses and address them, but trying does not always mean succeeding. Thus when my friends make mistakes, I try to be understanding; I hope they are equally forgiving towards me. True friends accept each other for who they are, warts and all. If my friends can tolerate all my annoying quirks (of which I have plenty), I can tolerate theirs.

Many issues boil down to one simple question. How much do we value our friendships? If we value our friendships, differences and weaknesses become less important than said friendships. If we value our friendships, we will not let misunderstandings and arguments destroy them. If we value our friendships, we will be committed to sustaining them.

How I wish I could truthfully say that I value all my friendships. My friends rock my world, but I sometimes neglect them or let my selfish desires affect my friendships. For example, I should be supporting Ginseng through his A-Levels, but most of my recent chats with him have been debates about approaches to life. Meanwhile, I am supporting Robben through his O Levels, but he wants to enter SA next year. I really hope he will join me in TP, because I believe TP suits him better, but also for selfish reasons that I shall not disclose here. Why am I such a horrible friend? Why do I not value my friendships more?

Perhaps that is why my friendships are so fragile. How many times have misunderstandings between Gab and I led to arguments that nearly ruined our friendship? How many of my friendships (or potential friendships) have ended due to misunderstandings? As Homerun suggests, misunderstandings can break friendships, but they can also strengthen friendships, by helping friends understand each other better. If only that was true for JJ's friendships. If only we would all realise that our disagreements are not worth sacrificing our friendship over.

As we go on, we remember all the times we had together, and as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be friends forever. (Friends Forever by Vitamin C)

How many times have I promised to keep in touch with my friends after graduation, but never spoke to them again, not even online? How many times have I drifted away from friends (or cousins like Wenting) due to being "too busy" to chat? Yet I remember these friends and really miss them. After crashing last year, I decided to contact many of my old friends, such as ZK and Mira. If I had not taken the initiative, I would not have reunited with Robben and Sonia. Staying in touch online and, if possible, going for outings, is not easy and requires commitment, but if I care about my friends, I would set aside time to spend with them. Of course, many of my attempts at rebuilding old friendships were unsuccessful. Friends come and go and all friendships eventually have to end.

Thus JJ must keep searching for new friends. But I should not think of new friends as replacements for old friends. Neither should I compare new friends to old friends, as I sometimes do. Every friend is unique and every friend is a human with feelings, but that can be easy to forget. I am more comfortable dealing with logic than with emtions, so I tend to take a logical approach to making friendships. For example, after joining M1, I promptly tried to find out their interests and contact information. That could be seen as manipulative, for friendships should come naturally and I should let them develop naturally. I should not worry about finding my fifth special friend in M1, as time will tell whether I do and if so, who he (or she) shall be.

Unsuccessful attempts to make new friends can be quite upsetting, Recently I realised that out of every hundred people I try to befriend, I would probably find only one true friend, but finding that true friend would make the whole effort worthwhile. Thus I should not let social failures discourage me or grind me down. I should not care about people who dislike or judge me; instead, I should focus on those who do care about me.

In addition, I must learn to be less reliant on my friends. As previously noted, some friends may be insincere friends who just want to sabotage me. In the working world, I am likely to meet more people like that and have to play office politics with them. Perhaps I can tackle this problem by knowing when to focus on tasks instead of people. By the same token, I must learn to strike a balance between "me-time" and "we-time". Growing up, I always had plenty of "me-time", but the rigorous demands of a junior college education are eating into my "me-time". I am also socially maturing and thus have more "we-time", which I really enjoy, but I must also cherish and continue enjoying my now-limited "me-time". After all, if I had no "me-time", I would not be typing this.

Thus I conclude Friendship Insights II. Many of these insights also apply to family relationships and romantic relationships. After all, family members are friends that one cannot choose but must develop close bonds with and although I have never been in a real romantic relationship, I guess romantic partners are special friends you spend your life with and sleep with.

Will there be a Friendship Insights III? That depends on whether my friends want more insights and, more importantly, whether I can glean more insights from experience. If you have your own thoughts about friendship, please feel free to share them on your blog and share the link with me, for I sometimes wonder whether others have such deep thoughts.

FADE OUT

Still slacking but physically challenged...

2009-10-30T17:29:00.010+08:00

FADE IN
INT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - ENTIRE DAY

JJ is still in high spirits and slacking after promoting. Yes, I do deserve a break, but that break must eventually end. Time to start preparing for a very hectic 2010. I will also keep myself busy writing, so I can get back into gear when the time comes.

Perhaps "P.E. Programme" is a misnomer, for some activities were not considered physical. But to someone with a weak ankle ligament, such activities were indeed physical and yours truly should have been exempted from them. So a summary of how the week went for JJ:

Monday: Most retainees were enjoying their physical games, but those who forgot their attire were sentenced to do manual labour. Carrying heavy objects, such as balls, out of a room, cleaning the room and placing the objects back. Since I did not need my attire, I did not bring it and had to join them. My task? Taking the trash out. The trash was smelly but not too heavy, so my ligament survived the ordeal. Whew.
Tuesday: We went to clean Paris Beach! We walked from one side of the beach to the other, constantly looking for litter on the ground and finding that most "litter" was actually stones. Of course, there was plenty of real litter to pick up. Finding the right category (paper, plastic, metals or others) for some pieces of litter was tricky, but finding the student carrying the corresponding trash bag was sometimes trickier. The rubbish I found included several cigarette butts (why do people smoke at the beach?) and a huge water bottle (if only there was a message inside). Finally we reached the end of the beach, albeit with sand in our shoes and sweat on our skin (even our gloves). We ran through the rain to the bus back, then did an interesting worksheet before heading home.
Wednesday: Watching the others play was better than carrying things, but nevertheless bored me to death, so I went to library to cheat on my girlfriend. After the break, we started planning and rehearsing the performance we would give at the old folks' home on Friday. My group decided to sing Chan Mali Chan and do the Macarena dance. I cannot dance to save my life, but I enjoyed learning the lyrics to Chan Mali Chan and shouting "OI, OI!" during the chorus. Gab and I went to Changi Airport after school. We ate at Popeye's (too expensive, in my opinion) and went window shopping for self-help books, while chatting about our future plans and cracking dirty jokes. I tried telling him about something that has been worrying me recently, but decided against it as I suspected he would not understand.
Thursday: We spent the morning exploring the campus to fill in a worksheet with a hundred questions about our college, such as "brand of projector in LT1". That was fun, but repeatedly walking around the school took its toll on my ankle, which ached afterwards, especially during rehearsals. Unable to master the Macarena dance, my group opted for an Orientation Camp dance instead, but I was exempted from that. Another group chose the Nat King Cole song L-O-V-E and after seeing their rehearsal, I joked with them that they were romantically interested in people over 50 years older than them!
Friday: Turns out that the old folks' home was actually a nursing home, for elderly who are also very sick and thus intolerance of loud noises. That threw a spanner into the works as we had to modify our performances at the last minute. My group could not do the dance, so we only sang Chan Mali Chan with the "OI, OI!" done softly. Nevertheless, the elderly enjoyed our performance and language was not really an issue – some of the old folks could speak basic English and while I (a Chinese) was learning a Malay song, another (multiracial, of course) group sang "月亮代表我的心". Before leaving, we distributed food to them, but thankfully we did not need to clean wheelchairs. The nurses said we were well behaved and our teachers also complimented us, so I was generally happy, but one thing bugs me. Could the teachers have told us beforehand that this was a nursing home? They also did not know the programme for tomorrow. A blur college administration breeds blur students like yours truly. I spent the afternoon and early evening with Sonia – exercising at Tampines Block 812 (more memories...), reading books together at the library (which I should visit more often), having a meal at a nearby food court and chatting at the Tampines Stadium. She sure can sing! She was also very understanding when I confided my worries to her – I will also discuss them with Robben and Ginseng after their exams, for I do not want to worry them.

FADE OUT

Blog Announcement: New Nicknames For Friends

2009-10-27T23:06:00.002+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Friends frequently give each other nicknames. Yours truly is no exception. Besides giving friends nicknames, I tell my friends to call me JJ, not just in real life, but also online, to protect my privacy.

In my posts, I call some friends by their nicknames (Peanut is a notable example), but refer to most friends by their real names. This post is a short announcement that in future posts, I will call more friends by their nicknames (and a couple of nicknames have been changed):

Arjun will be called Robben. "Arjun Robben" sounds like the name of Dutch footballer and ex-Chelsea player Arjen Robben. This change shall be applied retroactively, so mentions of "Arjun" in previous posts will be changed to "Arjun (Robben)".
X will be called Sonia, which is partially based on her real name. This change shall not be applied retroactively, as the context behind several past mentions of her would be lost.
Since some friends get RS and FSS mixed up (as the initials of their real names are similar), RS will be called Ginseng (a translation of his Chinese name) and FSS will be called Starshine (short for her online moniker). Both changes shall be applied retroactively to address the confusion.
One friend (identity not disclosed for various reasons) will be called Gab and all mentions of his name in previous posts will be changed.
Charsiew will be called Chash, a short form of her real name, per her request. All mentions of her name in previous posts will be changed.

Through these changes, I hope to set a good example for my friends and encourage everyone to guard their online privacy and the online privacy of their friends (some changes were made for other reasons). Of course, I cannot give every friend a nickname, so I will continue to call some friends (whom I am not as close to) by their real names. Due to popular demand, more friendship insights will be posted this weekend. Stay tuned!

FADE OUT

X and JJ: The Reunion

2009-10-25T20:53:00.011+08:00

FADE IN
INT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - ENTIRE DAY

The date was 28 September 2009. Her 17th birthday. I don't know why, but I suddenly felt like checking my second MSN account (yes, I have one, no, I will not disclose it). Seeing her online, I sent her a "Happy Birthday" message and waited with bated breath for a reply. For she was the long-lost friend you may know as X and the reason why JJ hated (note the past tense) TFBs for four years.

After what seemed like eternity, she replied asking who I was. I resorted to vague answers like "your primary school friend" (we became friends when she was in P6 but she was never a Hildan) and, for nearly two days, kept her in suspense about my identity. In fact, had she not let me see her on webcam, I might have kept her in the dark for weeks! For I feared that she would block me again if I told her immediately. So during our conversations, I dropped subtle hints about how people change for the better and tried to leave a positive impression, by simply and sincerely being a good friend (she was feeling sick, so JJ provided some "best medicine"). I also chatted with her about the stuff we write and found out how her life had gone downhill over the years.

The time came to tell her my name, but she only remembered me after I said I was a Hildan (and I am still a Hildan at heart). Then I asked her what had happened to her, four years ago. Turns out everything was a major misunderstanding. She never let her then-schoolmates influence her and never wanted to flirt with me or toy with my feelings. She avoided me because, in her state of depression, she suspected I was a stalker.

When I told her about how hurt I felt then (she was my first ever female friend and, at that time, only close friend), my crash in Sec 2 and how I hated TFBs for four years, she had a massive guilt trip. She kept lamenting about how she was an insensitive, selfish and immature brat and a horrible friend, while I had matured over the years and still cared for her despite how she had treated me. I told her that I also had several things to feel guilty about, but life has taught me that everyone makes mistakes and we must move forward. For example, I have finally overcome my prejudice against TFBs (and I hope 09A07 realise that).

Since four years had passed, we spent much of the next few days chatting and getting to know each other all over again, even though my exams were around the corner. She is still a wonderful girl, but that week, she was also a wonderful distraction. Yet our reunion gave me added inspiration and motivation to mug and a rejuvenated JJ kept finishing practice papers way ahead of time (not a good sign as my work might not be JJ-standard). In addition, she sent me encouraging SMSes before some of my papers - thanks! <3

In less than a month, we have become even closer than we were during the old days and, being very free now, have already met up five times. Our favourite haunts are the shopping malls near Tampines Interchange and the Tampines Stadium - a great place to chat when no football is being played. When we had a meal together, we realised how horrible I am at carrying soup (but at least better than Terry from I Not Stupid). By the way, she might be joining Riverlife in December. Hooray!

The impact of this reunion goes far beyond having another close friend and eliminating my prejudice against TFBs. For me, our reunion symbolises that I am socially maturing. Having realised the value of true friendship, I am also learning to be a good friend and trying to help her change for the better. More importantly, we have reignited each others' writing ambitions; JJ wants to start read fiction again and catch several movies during the holidays! The future ahead looks bright.

FADE OUT

Promoting strong friendships...

2009-10-23T20:18:00.005+08:00

FADE IN
INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - MORNING

This message is for all classmates who are worried about the possibility of being retained:

Dear (your name),
I share your pain, for I was also retained. I hope you promote, but if you do retain, your friends would not forsake you and neither would I; I would be happy to offer you advice and support. Retaining is not the end of the world - it is a fresh start and gives you an extra year, so use it wisely! Yours always, your classmate JJ.

One classmate is in danger of being kicked out, so Gab and I (plus the rest of the group) are determined to do the GP Research Project well, for her sake. After my euphoria (over promoting) died down, I continued my research and found several interesting examples, such as Exercise Northstar V, the hijacking of Singapore Airlines Flight 117 and how Muslim scholars provided religious counselling to detained Jemaah Islamiyah members. Fascinating stuff. Due to various constraints, some of my examples were not used, but I must learn to compromise. What matters is that our project was finished ahead of schedule, the presentation went well and we received positive feedback from the teachers and other students. Gab is a brilliant presenter and I wish I could speak like him, with the guidance of another year in Gavel Club.

I still can hardly believe I actually passed everything and am promoted. Seeing several other retainees cry over bad results reminds me that things could have been so different for me. JJ owes a big THANK YOU to everyone who contributed to this miracle! Three cheers for Ms de Souza, Miss Fernandez, Miss Padma and all my terrific teachers for patiently answering all my stupid questions, as well as offering their guidance in both academic and non-academic matters. Both my Maths tutors also deserve credit and so do I for studying so hard (self-praise is an international disgrace). Last but not least, I will never forget all the support and encouragement from my classmates, notably FSS (Starshine) and Gab, as well as other friends, such as Arjun (Robben) and RS (Ginseng). A special mention goes to X for the impact our reunion had on my preparation for Promos. Most importantly, I am grateful to God for His guidance. Without you, this miracle would not have been possible.

FADE OUT

Results revealed...

2009-10-21T22:14:00.017+08:00

FADE IN
INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - MORNING

Economics
I arrived at the Audi 20 minutes early but, seeing them still going through Chemistry papers, thought I had gone to the wrong venue. So I walked over to the LTs and other venues, ending up at the Audi again. Maybe JJ should be head of a state named Blur, because he is a Blur King. Nevertheless, this Blur King managed a D (52.4%) for Economics, though for a paper he could have scored a B for. Unless (or even if) my PAP score (class participation, 10% of the final grade) epicly screws me up, I should be safe for this subject. One of my classmates was crying bitterly because failing the paper had dire consequences for her. JJ wanted to stay back and help comfort her, but realised that would be too awkward turtle, so he signed and left the Audi with a sigh of relief.

History
Usually JJ would pass History without batting an eyelid, but the second question had really caught me unprepared, so I was really worried. I did not feel like doing the GP Research Project, so I chatted with Gab, went to the canteen for a meal, had a nap in the library and then cheated on my girlfriend there, while trying to take my mind off the results. Speaking of Gab, we have patched up and hopefully this will not happen again. All's well that ends well. Would that be the case for these exams? I learnt my lesson and was not too early, while Mr Lim was 20 minutes late. We waited with bated breath as the papers were distributed and when I received mine, I heaved a massive sigh of relief. My essay for the dreaded second question scored a C (14/25), while for the first question, my essay was deemed worthy of an A (18/25)! Of course, I made some careless mistakes, such as getting the Lahore Declaration mixed up with the Balfour Declaration, but I could care less, for once again, I scored a B for History.

Mathematics
The crucial paper, which JJ was most worried about. Due to the Maths lecture on 28 September and screwing up my previous tests, even a D might not be enough to secure promotion. But Miss Padma told me:

"You got 70 marks (an A) for Promo. Well done!"

If this blog post were an essay, I would write a one-paragraph flowery description of how I felt, but I shall spare readers. I asked her if she was joking. She was not. The proof was in the paper, which I received this morning. I know the paper was easy, but never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined scoring an A! My days of failing H2 Mathematics are finally over! I will keep studying hard and practising intensively - hopefully in the A-Levels, my Maths grade will be another A! By the way, about 37% scored an A, 65% scored an A or B and the pass rate was about 90%, with the top score being 99 (!), from an Arts student! Impressive. JJ left LT1 with a smile. Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya ya, yippee yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya!

Since the three results I received so far are a B, an A and a D, does that make my results BAD? I played a prank on X by SMSing her that my results are BAD. I wanted to see her reaction and whether she is still a horrible friend (in-joke). What happened? I will come to that later.

Literature
I expected to pass Literature and could hardly wait to get back my paper. However, Miss Fernandez and Mr Singh decided to give exam feedback first. That made me really nervous as I had made most of the common mistakes they highlighted. By the time they finished lamenting about our errors, I thought I was done for. To add to my misery, I saw Mr Singh holding my paper, at the top of his stack, but he distributed most of the others first. Finally I had my hands on the paper and saw 11.5/25 (very borderline pass) for my Unseen Poetry Comparison question. Then I flipped through the paper and saw that I scored 14/25 (C) for both my set text essays, for an overall grade of D (nearly 53%). I realised my analysis is getting deeper and I am learning to consider context. After reading through the comments, I joked: "Miss Fernandez, can I hug you?" She took me seriously and responded with a resounding "No!" Everyone laughed. Awkward turtle. Never mind. I did well and that is what matters.

General Paper
Passing GP should be a formality but I refused to count my chickens, for freak results do occur. There was no freak result for me for GP, though. The paper was an easy one and most passed, unlike the paper last year which many (but not yours truly) scored S for. I equalled my B grade from Promos last year, but this time, my Paper 1 (essay) was slightly below my usual standard, while my Paper 2 (comprehension) was much improved! With my promotion sealed, I wanted to celebrate, but the lecturer - and my mobile phone - had to spoil the mood.

Overall
ABBDD. I did it! I am promoted! All the Writeathons and studying paid off. Miracles do happen when you do your best. After GP, I had a great counselling session and then went to meet X. She fell for my prank and spent an hour trying to console me. She may suck at comforting people (I am not any better), but she showed she is a true friend and we hugged on a staircase (reliving some childhood memories). After I told her the truth, we spent a couple of hours having an early dinner and chat at the Tampines Stadium, during which she could not resist giving me several friendly slaps. What a deus ex machina. Well, Part 3 of the drama serial of my life has ended happily, according to script. Part 4 will soon begin. I believe I have a bright future ahead of me, but promoting is like jumping from the frying pan into the fire, for next year will be much more hectic. If Part 4 is to end well, I must start preparing now.

FADE OUT

As the release of results draws near...

2009-10-19T09:58:00.017+08:00

FADE IN
INT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - DAY

Since my last paper, I have been living each day as if it was my last, for my results will be released tomorrow. I believe I can and probably will promote, but what would happen if I do get kicked out? I really do not know. JJ joked with several friends that if that happened, yours truly would go on a rampage like Cho Seung-Hui - of course I would not want to do so, but emotions can overwhelm people. Assuming I do live on, what kind of life would I lead? Out of the education system, no longer supported by parents, struggling through two years of NS and then (if I leave Pulau Tekong alive) finding a job (especially with my "open secret"). What kind of future would I have?

After discussions with several friends and trusted adults, I realised that I have survived through lots of suffering, while staying true to myself, and I believe I would survive being kicked out. TP can kick JJ out, but they cannot kill his spirit. In addition, God, my family and my friends would not forsake me even if I was kicked out. So I need a plan to carry out if I am kicked out.

Due to my ankle ligament and other issues I shall not disclose, I would probably be assigned a light job in NS, giving me time to retake the A-Levels as a private candidate. To score well, though, I must learn from past failures and adapt to the different situation (I would not have teachers to consult). Improving my time management and other techniques would be paramount. Meanwhile, I shall never give up my dream, but to succeed, I will need more than good grades. To be a writer, I must spend several hours per week writing and actually finish something.

But only quality work sells, so sharpening my writing skills (through reading) is essential. Until I sell something, though, my only job prospects are in computing, so I would work on my computing skills as well. Last but not least, I would need to improve my personal management social skills, public speaking skills and other non-academic skills that people need in the real world but were never taught in school.

As advised by a trusted adult, I wrote these plans, along with some encouraging messages and short-term "things to do", on a piece of paper. If my results suck, I will take the paper out and consult it. Of course, I hope I never have to use it, but I must be prepared for the worst.

During cell yesterday, each of us were taught the difference between body (physical), soul (emotions) and spirit (conscience), then told to paint an image of our souls. The paintings were really insightful. Mine was a bleeding layer, "protected" by layers of emptiness and withdrawal. Negative external stimuli (portrayed as lightning), such as bullying, could penetrate, but could positive external stimuli (represented by stars), such as God, penetrate, filling the layers of emptiness with happiness? Several paintings emphasised how the soul has a good and a bad side. Then there was another painting depicting how the external world overwhelmed the inner soul and one showing how the soul grows up with the body. I particularly liked one portraying the soul as strong trees which stay rooted no matter how strong the wind blows. As the cell leader said, each decision we make feeds a habit, so to be better people, we must feed good habits and feed our spirit. Easier said than done, of course, but I will do my best, regardless of the results I get tomorrow.

Then today, I spent the afternoon with X. At the Tampines Stadium, we chatted about school, story plots and stuff. Then she prayed for me. I felt much better afterwards. Too bad we could not take a photo. We will meet again once my results are released. I feel like this is a drama serial, "The Life of JJ (Part 3)", with its last episode taking place tomorrow. I wish this was a drama serial, because there would be a happy ending and Part 4 would eventually come, but life does not always go according to script. JJ is hoping for the best, but prepared for the worst. All the best to everyone who will receive their results tomorrow!

FADE OUT

You know you are from TP when...

2009-10-16T12:18:00.002+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Recent arguments with Gab are killing my mood to do the GP Research Project, but I will still put in effort. A teacher told us that retainees who narrowly miss the promotional criteria but do the project well may be able to appeal. I would love to produce quality work to help everyone in 09A07, but once again end up doing this for selfish reasons. Never mind, I will get to the project later. Blogging is so much more fun!

Since I am still feeling high after exams and my birthday, I hope the rest of this post makes you smile. The list that follows is based on a thread I started in the school forums months ago, called "You know you are from TP when". The thread offers a humorous (and satirical) look at life in TP. It attracted over 500 replies and I included some of the best in the list below, while adding some of my own.

I hope you have a good laugh and apologise for any unintentional offence caused by any of the comments below (though most are not mine).

You know you are from TP when you find yourself blending into the field.

You know you are from TP when the school badge scratches your skin and neck.

You know you are from TP when when besides the green uniform, you buy the PE T-shirt, a polo tee, a house tee, a CCA tee, a class tee, an orientation tee...

You know you are from TP when people mistake you for an SBS bus driver.

You know you are from TP when VJ, TJ and MJ students blow raspberries at you.

You know you are from TP when people think your school is in Tanjong Pagar or Toa Payoh.

You know you are from TP when you are running to the turnstile and people pass you flyers advertising tuition.

You know you are from TP when you see long queues in front of turnstiles.

You know you are from TP when you are late and buy an MC from the nearby polyclinic.

You know you are from TP when the principal keeps giving "blessings for a good day".

You know you are from TP when, at 7.55am, you think: "When is Ms Choo going to finish her long speech? I am so hot and my legs are really tired..."

You know you are from TP when money is wasted on plasma TVs which show motivational messages no one actually reads.

You know you are from TP when getting lost and being late for lessons is the norm.

You know you are from TP when opening and closing windows is a chore.

You know you are from TP when many students take toilet breaks during Maths lectures.

You know you are from TP when your notes say I-Own-Econs but Econs is owning you.

You know you are from TP when the H1 History notes are full of typos and language errors

You know you are from TP when you walk two rounds around the canteen before deciding what to buy.

You know you are from TP when many complain about the hygiene standards of canteen food.

You know you are from TP when you sleep in the library during breaks.

You know you are from TP when you think a study break is a break from studying.

You know you are from TP when you spam the forums and Photoshare.

You know you are from TP when the chess club players do not play chess at all.

You know you are from TP when you can hear the booming voice of Mr. Nordin from the other side of the school.

You know you are from TP when the Humanities HOD is a "Member of Parliament" (Mr. Inderjit Singh).

FADE OUT

Belated-But-Happy Birthday Celebrations (Part 2)

2009-10-13T09:45:00.032+08:00

FADE IN
EXT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - ENTIRE DAY

I hope you enjoyed reading the previous post (and will enjoy reading this one) as much as I enjoyed my belated birthday celebrations! The celebrations this year are special, for I spent my birthday with people who rock my world. I could not meet Arjun (Robben) or my cousins, but after having a great time with X and then 09A07 (as mentioned in my previous post), I went out with RS (Ginseng) on Saturday and M1 on Sunday, then concluded the celebrations with my parents.

Since August, RS (Ginseng) has been studying for his upcoming A-Levels, while JJ has been preparing for Promos. With both of us stressed, we have chatted less and also had several little arguments. However, our strong friendship can withstand such challenges. In fact, arguments can strengthen friendships, as Homerun suggests. Our friendship deepens as we understand each other better and meet up again, this time in Choa Chu Kang, where he lives (he usually comes to Tampines). He suggested I travel there by SBS service 67 from Tampines Interchange and I did, only to realise the journey takes over two hours and taking the MRT would be at least half an hour faster. Then I waited for him at Choa Chu Kang Interchange for nearly half an hour, only to realise he was sitting at the coffee shop there, reading his notes.

Despite my sore throat, we ate at McDonald's. Thankfully the breakfast meals did not include fries. At his suggestion, I ate a new kind of McMuffin, with a different patty, which tasted good. Our next hangout was the library, where we worked on several Maths questions - my Promos have ended but he still has A-Levels. He also read some fiction, while I buried my head in a chess book and a book about the writing process, which I could not borrow as I had outstanding fines. We should have spent less time with our books and more with each other, but remind me to read more fiction during the holidays!

Window shopping is a favourite pastime of teenagers who are short of cash and we were no exception. Being guys, we could not resist the stores selling sportswear, but I already had enough Chelsea merchandise and the stores there would not sell Tampines Rovers jerseys. So what was our next stop? A VCD shop! VCDs for local movies are in short supply, but we found one selling Love Matters, 881 and KallangRoar (but not My Magic) at huge discounts (I hope the VCDs are not pirated), so we agreed that these VCDs would make great presents:

We ended our outing by spending half an hour at a void deck, planning for the holidays and our futures, while considering how to overcome the challenges we face. Unfortunately, I could not head to his house, but we were already exhausted anyway and I needed enough rest before meeting another group of awesome people the next day. I want to spend the next few days watching the VCDs!

No prizes for guessing who the group of awesome people are, for I spend my Sunday mornings with the M1. This day was a special day though, as after all the usual singing and activities, I told them my "open secret". I did not prepare a speech, so I delivered an impromptu talk, relying on several points I jotted down in my notebook on the MRT ride there. Besides explaining my secret, I emphasised that God loves all His children, whether they are ugly, disabled or from broken families, so like Him, they should accept me.

They were really supportive and applauded my courage in sharing about my secret. Before we left for lunch, they surprised me with the birthday song and a chocolate cake! For lunch, I had Hokkien mee, while everyone shared a plate of cheese fries. These birthday celebrations are taking their toll on my throat. While eating, we passed my notebook around and each of them wrote a birthday wish. Thanks for everything!

My friends rock my world, but my family also care about me. My father, like many Chinese fathers, has difficulty expressing his love, so he treated me to a delicious meal and a huge chocolate cake (watch your weigt, JJ)! His present? A Chelsea bedsheet! Perhaps my favourite football club could be my second girlfriend, since I "sleep with Chelsea" on most nights! I would have preferred to spend some quality time with him, like I do with friends, but JJ is not complaining.

As for my mother, she took me to watch Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs at Tampines Mall. To be honest, the 3-D nature of the movie did not make a difference, but I nevertheless enjoyed watching the movie. I liked the main character, Flint, possibly because I share his dream of making (in my case, writing) something that would change the world. Seeing hot dogs and ice cream fall from the sky made my mouth water, but of course, I would not enjoy fleeing from a giant corn or being caught in a spaghetti tornado! After the movie, we kept looking at the sky (hoping it would rain food) and repeating catchphrases from the movie. Now my life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows!

Where did we eat after that? Swensen's! Despite the economic crisis, she can still afford to treat me to my favourite baked rice, pasta and...Sticky Chewy Chocolate! She and a bloated JJ then walked to Popular, where she bought me a copy of the self-help book Gab has recommended for months, as well as miscellaneous stuff like notebooks. The bus ride home was full of more quality time.

Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya ya, yippee yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! I will never forget these celebrations for as long as I live. Thanks to all who made them so wonderful! <3

FADE OUT

Belated-But-Happy Birthday Celebrations (Part 1)

2009-10-10T20:24:00.029+08:00

FADE IN
EXT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - ENTIRE DAY

Shortly after midnight on the actual day, two classmates posted "Happy Birthday!" on my Facebook Wall and a few friends sent me birthday greetings on MSN. I had a good sleep and woke up to birthday wishes from my mother and four more posts on my Wall. I did not feel like studying on my birthday, but still had to, with more motivation from all the birthday messages. Several classmates wished me Happy Birthday just before the Literature exam, giving me added impetus to do well, despite someone letting me down big time due to circumstances beyond her control. After the paper came more Wall posts and an SMS from Ronaldo, a Riverlifer from M1. Thanks to everyone who remembered and bothered to wish me Happy Birthday! JJ suddenly feels so loved. <3

Now for some news that would make your jaw drop:

X and I are reunited!

I shall leave the details of our reunion for a future post. All I shall say now is that she was a superb source of strength and encouragement (as well as distraction) since the day of our reunion (28 September). She is still the same wonderful girl who has retained her passion for writing (like mine) and cuteness despite maturing. In fact, I think we were made for each other because we have so much in common - for example, we face similar problems (though she does not share my "open secret") and both of us are left-handed! May we break into the media together! By the way, what happened back then turned out to be a huge misunderstanding which has been cleared up, which means that finally I can completely eradicate the biggest prejudice I hold.

As arranged, we met up after my last paper ended. Since I told her I rarely have time to write fiction and keep what I do write in my thumb drive, she bought me a special writing notebook as a present! Now I can jot down my ideas for characters and stuff while on the bus or queueing for food (not during tutorials, though).

We chatted throughout the bus ride to Tampines Interchange and she then treated me to KFC. After all, my birthday had just passed and she had a part-time job, while JJ does not. The Zinger and cheese fries were delicious as ever, but were not good for my throat. With our stomachs full, we headed to Tampines 1, which I had not explored yet. I should be ashamed of myself for letting JC life eat up the rest of my life, considering that the mall opened in April and I consider Tampines my hometown.

Unfortunately, most of the stuff sold at Tampines 1 did not suit us, so we went window shopping at TIME bookstore! With both of us into fiction (me less so in recent years), what do you expect? She introduced me to several interesting titles and others I had no interest in. JJ wants to spend the December holidays reading and writing fiction, like the old days!

Our next stop was an IT-gadget store, but once we got sick of window shopping, we headed to the Tampines Stadium. This time, the stadium was nearly empty, as there was no football match, though some kids from another school were running on the track. We continued chatting about a million things, notably some plots she was developing. Before long, it was nearly dinner time and both of us had to rush off - me to home, she to evening classes. Why must time fly when we are with awesome people?

For once, spending time with my girlfriend at home seemed unappealing, but after spending Thursday afternoon with X, I spent Friday evening with more awesome people - from 09A07! We had a class outing to celebrate the end of the exams, not my birthday, but some had to spoil it by spreading rumours that it was planned for me. Nevertheless, JJ had a great time and so did those who turned up. JJ is learning to care less about nasty things which others think or say about him.

So nine of us turned up at VivoCity and initially planned to watch a movie together. I can now watch M18 movies, but the rest cannot and I would not go for violent or sexual movies anyway! We abandoned our initial plan as we could not decide on a movie, due to the inconvenient movie timings, high demand for tickets at VivoCity and a lack of good movies. That we had spent the last few weeks mugging gave us imperfect knowledge (economics again) of the movies currently being shown.

Instead, we went window shopping at Forever 21 and then walked around VivoCity. Four (including Olive and Yiqing, who left early) decided to eat at Carl's Junior while five (including yours truly) opted for Burger King instead. Deciding on my order took some time as I rarely eat at Burger King (or Carl's Junior), usually preferring KFC and McDonald's, but I certainly did not regret my choice of a mushroom cheeseburger (forgot the exact name) with fries and an Iced Milo.

Despite ordering food from different places, we (minus Olive and Yiqing) ate together at the rooftop garden! The fellowship was as fantastic as (in fact, better than) the food (but the fries gave me a sore throat). Each classmate wrote birthday wishes for me in a notebook I passed around - the notebook from X. Then we went camwhoring! First at the rooftop garden, then at a staircase from where we could see the harbour. I lent them my digicam as the other had run out of batteries. We came up with several really weird poses, such as the in-the-air pose when jumping. I wish some of the really awkward turtle photos had not been uploaded to Facebook for my online friends (and stalkers) to see! Here is one of the better photos:

FSS (Starshine) wanted a pet rat, so we headed to the pet shop next. The girls kept going "so cute!" (we saw hamsters running on wheels, the origin of the term "rat race") but she could not decide on one. Suddenly Pavi's mother called and we all decided it was time to go (though Willis, Peanut and I continued to chat on the MRT ride home). Parents - can't live with them, can't live without them.

Stay tuned for another post about my celebrations with RS (Ginseng), M1 and my parents!

FADE OUT

Thinking Over Promos...

2009-10-08T20:43:00.010+08:00

FADE IN
INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - DAY

General Paper
Paper 1 (essay) had two Media questions, but neither was particularly appealing, and no Discrimination questions. I picked "The mass media is only concerned with the sensational" over "Movies are mindless entertainment" because the former was broader, dealing with all types of media. Points for the antithesis were harder to come up with, because, unfortunately, the mass media has really becomed overly sensationalised. If JJ goes into the media, yours truly will strive to write stuff that is not sensational.

Paper 2 (comprehension) was about technology and its impact on our lives. Since I usually score better in Paper 1, I was determined to do well in Paper 2 this time. That meant more meticulous paraphrasing, but thankfully JJ managed to complete the vocabulary, questions, summary and AQ with several minutes to spare. The AQ (in fact, the whole passage) was fascinating stuff - I wrote beyond the space alloted (though the size of my handwriting was a contributing factor). After the paper, I was determined to build on my good start. Onward!

History
Why do schools torture students with three papers in a day? At least I have gotten used to the torture and History, like GP, is one of my stronger subjects. When I read the first question, about how religion prolonged the Indo-Pakistan conflict, I felt I might finally score my first A. All I needed to improve on was linking my information and arguments to the question. Then I saw the second question: "Assess the impact of religious fundamentalism on regional security from the period 1970-2000."

Since the teachers had indicated that no question would cover both the conflicts we studied, this came as a rude shock. I did remember some content we had covered in class, as well as additional content from last year, so I threw them together with paragraphs on how religious fundamentalism affected each conflict, which in turn affected regional security. I will probably pass, but an A is out of the question - I would be happy with my usual B, but may score a slightly lower grade this time. Predicting my performance for such surprise questions is almost impossible.

Economics
Despite having the weekend to study for Economics, I only managed to complete one practice paper and memorise my notes. My preparations were affected by a wonderful distraction, poor time management and complacency. RS advised me to prepare for a possible killer question such as "Assess the various policy measures that the Singapore government currently adopts to achieve efficiency of resource allocation and equity in income and wealth distribution". Thankfully the paper did not have such questions. On the contrary, one of the essay questions was very similar to the one I spotted (on the benefits of large firms) and the other was a standard Market Failure question. Since I remembered my content this time, I hope my essay-writing skills see me through. Although they do not teach us time management policies, I managed to finish the paper. That includes the case study on the transport system in Singapore, which was pretty doable (though case studies are usually unpredictable).

Literature
The first really crucial battle. On the day JJ turned 18. Many remembered and their encouraging messages really made my day. Thanks everyone! For much of the day, I was worrying about something, but I need not have worried about the Literature paper. Miss Fernandez and Mr Singh said it would be manageable and it turned out to be, as promised, pretty manageable.

Ironically, I spent too much time on the Unseen Poetry Comparison, which I usually tackle last and lack time to finish. I would do fine as long as I do not misinterpret the poems, which were relatively straightforward compared to what we usually analyse. I also spent too much time meticulously planning the essays for my two set text questions, leaving myself with slightly over an hour to actually write the essays. Somehow I managed to complete both essays on time. Perhaps the thorough planning (and secret weapon) helped JJ write as if his hand was possessed. One less paper to worry about, one paper left to fret over.

Mathematics
Last but not least came the do-or-die paper. Dying looked like the more likely possibility, as my brain broke down during tuition the night before and I had another shock in the morning. Fortunately, the school decided to set an easy paper. JJ managed to finish the paper (apart from a couple of little parts) and even had time to catch two careless mistakes! In fact, after the exam, the teacher told us: "Anyone who fails this does not deserve to promote!" JJ really wants to finish with a flourish. Nevertheless, carelessness could still kill my marks and even if I pass this paper, other factors (such as my actrocious performance in the mid-years) could pull down my overall grade. My fate may be decided by a Maths lecture on 28 September.

Overall
The prospect of being kicked out has forced my work ethic to improve over the past few weeks, but I did drop the ball occasionally. Is this a case of too little, too late? I do not need to learn more lessons from this experience; I just want to be in JC-2 in 2010. I have changed so much this year but only promoting will make everything worthwhile. My chances of promoting are, in my opinion, about 70 to 80 percent, but probabilities are funny and can really screw people up (like what happened last year).

Now I will just keep my fingers crossed and pray, then enjoy life (such as my belated birthday celebrations) until the results are released. There is no point in further worrying as it will not change the results. Should I consider how to handle a worst-case scenario? I simply cannot contemplate it.

FADE OUT

Touching Story V: The Rotten Potatoes

2009-10-07T00:19:00.000+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JJ!

I am now officially 18. But I still have two papers left, so I shall wait until tomorrow to celebrate. Wonder if my classmates will remember.

Thus I decided to share a story I grew up with. A story I heard several times in SHSS. Enjoy!

A teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.

So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes.

The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.

Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes.

Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.

The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?"

The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.

Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart.

The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime?"

I have finally overcome my biggest prejudice and shall soon reveal why. But this applies to exams too. If you hate Maths, would you study and do well in it?

FADE OUT

Touching Story IV: The Blind Boy's Sign

2009-10-06T19:02:00.001+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

I found this story on the college forums and think I should share it with all readers:

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which said: "I am blind, please help." There were only a few coins in the hat.

A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. He put the sign back so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon the man who had changed the sign came to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, "Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?"

The man said, '"I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way."
What he had written was: "Today is a beautiful day and I cannot see it."

Do you think the first sign and the second sign were saying the same thing? Of course both signs told people the boy was blind. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind. The second sign told people they were so lucky that they were not blind. Should we be surprised that the second sign was more effective?

The moral of the story? To quote the last paragraphs:

Be thankful for what you have. Be creative. Be innovative. Think differently and positively.

Invite others towards good with wisdom. Live life with no excuse and love with no regrets. When life gives you a 100 reasons to cry, show life that you have 1000 reasons to smile. Face your past without regret. Handle your present with confidence. Prepare for the future without fear. Keep the faith and drop the fear.

Treasure what you have and remember to study hard!

FADE OUT

Touching Story III: The Carpenter's Final House

2009-10-05T13:07:00.001+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Yet another story. Enjoy!

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business to live a more leisurely life with his wife and enjoy his extended family. He would miss the paycheck each week, but he wanted to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go & asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but over time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work, his employer came to inspect the house. Then he handed the front-door key to the carpenter and said, "This is your house... my gift to you."

The carpenter was shocked!

That may happen to us. Hopefully not me. I hope I have studied hard enough and that my results will reflect that. So back to Maths practice.

FADE OUT

Touching Story II: You Can Make A Difference

2009-10-04T16:22:00.003+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

I hope you liked the story about changing your course. Here is another story, about making a difference:

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friend tomorrow afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out to him.

So I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives." He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before now. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends. When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach...but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story." I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable." I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and Dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

While stressed out over the exams, we should not forget our friends, some of whom are also stressed out over the same exams. Support them and study with them! You never know how much your little actions may mean to them. I was once in situation similar to Kyle at the start, but a smile from Aihui and encouraging messages from Wikipedian friends convinced me against doing the unspeakable. On the other hand, I was once there for a friend who was contemplating that possibility.

I will try to arrange a chat and group consultation with Gab tomorrow, while sending encouraging messages to some of my classmates. Yet I, too, could do with lots of encouragement as I practice some killer Maths questions.

FADE OUT

Touching Story I: Change Your Course

2009-10-03T15:07:00.004+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

I forgot to mention that some events on (and following) 28 September have given me added motivation to mug. In between mugging sessions, I found several touching stories online. Since I do not have time to blog, I decided to post them here to inspire friends who are taking their Promos, like me (though remember to return to mugging after reading this):

Two battleships assigned to the training squadron had been at sea on maneuvers in heavy weather for several days. I was serving on the lead battleship and was on watch on the bridge as night fell. The visibility was poor with patchy fog, so the captain remained on the bridge keeping an eye on all activities.

Shortly after dark, the lookout on the wing reported, "Light, bearing on the starboard bow."

"Is it steady or moving astern?" the captain called out.

The lookout replied, "Steady, Captain", which meant we were on a dangerous collision course with that ship.

The captain then called to the signalman, "Signal that ship: 'We are on a collision course, advise you change course twenty degrees.'"

Back came the signal, "Advisable for you to change course twenty degrees."

The captain said, "Send: "I'm a captain, change course twenty degrees.'"

"I'm a seaman second-class," came the reply. "You had better change course twenty degrees."

By that time the captain was furious. He spat out, "Send: 'I'm a battleship. Change course twenty degrees.'"

Back came the flashing light, "I'm a lighthouse."

We changed course.

If we only consider our point of view, the consequences could be fatal. Sometimes we must see things from a different perspective. Sometimes we need to change our course because we are heading in the wrong direction. This applies to exams and to life. In fact, I wonder whether my life is on the right track and what other perspectives are there.

Alright, back to Economics practice papers.

FADE OUT

Literature Essay: Examine how Skylight and Amy's View portray changes in contemporary British society.

2009-09-28T22:36:00.002+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

This is another polished essay. I spent 75 minutes writing the original practice essay, on paper. Then I spent twice as much time typing it out and refining it. I am trying to analyse at deeper levels and I hope I have succeeded with this essay. Feedback is most welcome. Enjoy the essay!

The Question:

Examine how Skylight and Amy's View portray changes in contemporary British society.

My Essay:
Amy's View and Skylight, both plays by David Hare, are set in Britain from the 1970s to the 1990s. During this period, British society was undergoing massive changes, due to the rise of Thatcherism and post-Thatcherism, as well as globalisation and liberalisation. In general, the plays portray such changes as harming British society, by showing characters suffering as a result of these changes.

Thatcherist policies included the gradual dismantling of the welfare state. Hence British society became more materialistic, as seen by the characters Dominic and Tom, whose lives revolve around acquiring material wealth and success. Dominic is a "media monolith" who "sets out at dawn" and spends the entire day on his work, while for Tom, his priority is to "expand" and "defend market share". Such materialism also became prevalent in the education system and younger generation, with students like Edward doing things "[never]...because [they] might enjoy it", but "because [they] can write it all down". Meanwhile, the destruction of the welfare state worsened class stratification in Britain, with many poor people left behind. For example, Esme goes bankrupt after being cheated by Lloyd's, reflecting the greed of such institutions. Kyra teaches children "from very tough backgrounds" who "are not on the ladder", but the children and Kyra lead more meaningful lives, implying that success does not equate to happiness. Nevertheless, British society is hostile towards poor people and those who try to help them, as seen by the presence of "partisan elements who wish the school ill...because it is an enlightened regime".

Both plays also show how changes in Britain caused relationships and families to break down. In his pursuit of material success, Dominic neglects his family and spends so much time on the phone that his daughter Chloe "did a drawing" of him with "a phone to each ear". The equally business-minded Tom regards money as a panacea to all problems and treats people like objects. For example, he thinks that Frank is not "people", but merely "a man who is doing a job", just because he is "bloody well paid". Similarly, he thought that spending "a great deal of money" to build "this extraordinary bedroom" for Alice would make her happy. Another factor contributing to the breakdown of families is liberalisation. Five decades ago, extramarital affairs would be taboo, but they are now more socially acceptable and are featured in both plays – Dominic with a "Swedish film star" and Tom with Kyra. Romantic relationships in contemporary Britain were also less committal. Amy promised Dominic that they would have "no children", while Edward feels that "relationships" and "permanence" are "finished". The abrupt death of Amy symbolises the death of her view that "love conquers all".

Changes in British culture feature prominently in the plays. Globalisation made Britain more multicultural – Kyra has a "Nigerian friend" named Adele, a "Nepalese restaurant" near her house and teaches at a school where "forty percent [speak] English as a second language". The younger generation held far more liberal views, as seen by how Amy exhorts Esme to "take control" and "sue [her] agent". They viewed traditional societal attitudes as outdated. For instance, Dominic feels "swamped in this bloody English gentility", while Amy feels that Esme's "principles" are "more like prejudice". Tom states that he does not follow religion and compared the traditional attitudes Kyra holds to those of an "obscure religious order". This indicates that traditional practices, such as religion, have declined. Due to such changes, the older generation "no longer know who they are". They react with hostility towards the younger generation, whom Tom describes as "selfish hoodlums", and nevertheless stick to "traditions which have lasted for hundreds of years".

Last but not least, we see changes in British media in both plays. They have few characters and simple props, as Hare had a limited budget because Thatcher cut funding of the arts. This contributed to the decline of traditional media – symbolised by the death of Bernard and bankruptcy of Esme – and the rise of new media. Both plays portray new media in a negative light. Esme criticises TV for failing to "make it authentic", while Dominic focuses on the "ratings" of his show and "[doesn't] dare to deal with real experiences", implying that new media lacks quality. Movies are full of "shooting and bloodshed" and Frank tells Tom "who Cindy Crawford is sleeping with", suggesting that new media is too liberal and targets mass markets rather than niche markets. Kyra "stopped reading the papers" because she found them "full of...unlikeable people".

The endings of both plays – Esme acting in a play and Kyra enjoying breakfast with Edward - show hope in a return to the old times. This emphasises how destructive the societal changes were.

(790 words)

FADE OUT

Victories over hatred

2009-09-18T23:05:00.024+08:00

FADE IN
INT. MULTIPLE LOCATIONS - DAY

SELAMAT HARI RAYA to all my Muslim friends! Please tell me more about your culture, such as how you celebrate Hari Raya!

"I hate my father." (Leigh Botts in the novel Dear Mr. Henshaw by Beverly Cleary)

Hate is probably too strong a word, but why must he constantly disrupt my Writeathons? When I am typing an essay, he would shout at me to turn down my music. He can annoy me (and the neighbours) with the loud songs he blasts from his CD player, but I cannot play soothing, lyricless tunes to help me concentrate. By the way, is sleeping early really more important than studying and finishing assignments? Evidently he does not care that I could be suspended for not completing my homework and that the average JC student sleeps at 1am (I conducted a survey on our school forum). If he wants me to promote (and so do I), he should let me focus on my work, instead of constantly spoiling my mood. Well, I am learning to cope with the problems he gives me.

"Do not let the bastards grind you down." (popular humorous saying in Dog Latin)

I hate P.E.E. lessons too. I hate sitting under the sun and seeing the others run or play football. I hate being reminded that I suck at sports and that my ankle ligament will take forever to heal. I hate wasting time I could spend reading Economics notes, doing Maths tutorials or even finishing Literature assignments. Others may enjoy P.E.E. lessons, but to JJ, they are a complete Waste Of Money, Brains And Time (WOMBAT). Thankfully I was allowed to sit in the shade during today's P.E.E. lesson. Since the JC-2s were having exams in the hall, I fled to the canteen extension and continued with my Maclaurin's Series tutorial. I saw Helen walking to the toilet and waved to her.

She joked that she misses reading my comments about TFBs. I have not mentioned them in my posts for three months, thanks to my progress in overcoming my phobia of them. Nowadays I rarely cringe or think of X when I see them, unless they come too close or in large groups, and Charsiew and I are now firm friends. Today JJ reached another milestone. P.E.E. lesson had just ended and I was still stuck on the last question of my Maclaurin's Series tutorial. I looked around and saw a girl eating at the table next to mine - the (for lack of a better word/acronym) TFB from Chess Club. I asked her for help with the question and although I did feel uncomfortable sitting so near her as she explained the question, I kept my cool and lasted the ten minutes. As Helen would say, time to "sing carols" (or the C-pop she loves). Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya ya, yippee yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! If I can overcome this phobia, I can overcome anything - including my Promos.

Speaking of Maths, I have yet another victory to announce. JJ passed a Maths test for the first time since November 2007! Binomial Theorem, Arithemtric & Geometric Progressions and Mathematical Induction are among the easier topics, but 8/15 (a D) is nevertheless an achievement. But JJ must not be complacent, for yours truly struggled with the Maclaurin's Series tutorial and is now struggling with the Integration Techniques tutorial. Once those are complete, I will go through ten tutorials in the TBYS (Tay Boey Yiong Series, named after the TP teacher who compiled the tutorials). Practice makes perfect, but (as one of my "armour quotes" says) what if you practise the wrong things?

Most of my recent posts have been essays, because in recent weeks, my life has mostly been about writing essays (with occasional meetings with M1 or friends like Gab sandwiched in between). I post these essays to assure all readers that JJ has not died from stress (yet). So please enjoy reading them and provide feedback.

FADE OUT

GP Essay: Does society remain intolerant of those who are different?

2009-09-15T22:30:00.010+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Writing good GP essays takes ages, so I decided to use a polished version of my submitted in-class assignment, which scored 31/50 (B). I hope the essay on my blog deserves an A! However, I still have lots to learn, so all are invited to enjoy and evaluate the essay. Note that the stances I take in the essay may differ from my real stances (I oppose LGBT rights), as my focus is on writing a high-scoring essay (or learning to write one).

The Question:

Does society remain intolerant of those who are different?

My Essay:

People are born different in many ways, such as race, gender and physical attributes, and have diverse religious and political views. They naturally associate and form communities with others who share common characteristics. This tendency may lead to intolerance, prejudice and discrimination against people with different characteristics or views. Thanks to various global developments, there is less intolerance in the world than before, but it remains a severe international problem.

Globalisation and the traditional dominance of Western countries have led to increasing awareness of human rights and the rise of liberal democracy. Both ideologies emphasise the inherent equality of all human beings and their freedom to make choices. As these ideologies spread, people become more receptive to other opinions and tolerant of differences. Moreover, they become more willing to assert their identity, as seen by the emergence and acceptance of many subcultures, such as the punk and emo subcultures. People may also use their freedom to start or support campaigns against discrimination, such as the civil rights and women's rights movements in the USA in the 1960s. Contemporary campaigns represent diverse groups, such as the disabled, the autistic and the physically unattractive.

There are now more opportunities – such as travel and online communication – for interaction and communication between members of different groups. This helps them overcome their innate fear of other groups, realise their similarities and understand each other better. Another powerful global force against intolerance is the media. Educational TV programmes and online resources can increase our exposure to and understanding of other cultures. Social media, such as blogs, allow the proliferation and discussion of diverse views, which are harder to repress. Fiction can also raise awareness of, and promote campaigns against, intolerance and discrimination. The novel I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings offered a frank portrayal of racism in American society, while the novel The Handmaid's Tale warned how traditional values could lead to discrimination against women.

Such developments have contributed to greater official and societal tolerance. Many countries have introduced laws against discrimination. In Singapore, racist speech and actions are punishable under the Sedition Act. The USA has passed legislation protecting certain groups, such as the Americans with Disabilities Act and Age Discrimination in Employment Act. Besides helping groups which face discrimination, these regulations influence, and reflect changes in, mindsets towards such groups. A survey by the Pew Global Attitudes Project found that over 70% in Canada and most European countries consider homosexuality acceptable. In 1979, Margaret Thatcher became the first female Prime Minister of Britain and in 2008, Barack Obama became the first African-American President of the USA, indicating that people now believe ethnic minorities and women can represent their countries.

However, many societies remain intolerant of differences, as seen by the many manifestations of prejudice and discrimination across the globe. In Europe, racist chanting during football matches is common. Although the media can help combat intolerance, it can also perpetuate prejudice. Some websites, such as the white supremacist Stormfront and anti-Semitic Jew Watch, promote racist views. In 2005, Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten published cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist, and in 2008, Dutch politician Geert Wilders produced Fitna, a short film arguing that Islam promotes terrorism. University professor Jack Shaheen reviewed 900 portrayals of Arabs in American films and found over 800 to be negative. Such stereotyping would affect public perceptions of affected groups, leading to intolerance.

At the national level, some countries still practice institutional discrimination. Economic and education policies in Malaysia favour Malays and indigenous people, at the expense of the Chinese and Indian minorities, due to the intolerant perception of the latter as immigrants. Institutional discrimination has sometimes sparked violent ethnoreligious conflicts, such as the conflict between Sinhalese and Tamils in Sri Lanka. Such disputes cause opposing groups to hate each other and many of them – for example, the Arab-Israeli and Indo-Pakistan conflicts – remain unresolved.

Intolerance also persists because of subconscious biases. A study by the University of Chicago found that job applicants with black-sounding names were 50% less likely to be contacted for interviews. Physically unattractive people are more likely to leave bad first impressions during job interviews and may thus face employment discrimination. Subtle biases are also found in the American legal system; according to a University of Georgia study, black or male criminals received harsher sentences than whites or females for offences of similar severity. Such biases are usually unintentional but are difficult to eradicate because most people and institutions are unaware of such prejudices, some of which are part of human nature.

Unfortunately, intolerance remains widespread and we will never completely eliminate it. That should not deter us from continuing to tackle it, for plenty of progress has been made. Tolerance is the key to a peaceful and prosperous society.

(794 words)

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Literature Essay: To what extent does Proof show a link between geinus and madness?

2009-09-11T22:29:00.007+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

In the actual exams, I will not have four hours to write an essay, so I have decided to start timing myself when writing essays. This essay was written in 90 minutes, which explains the low word count, but this is nevertheless a JJ-standard essay. I hope you enjoy reading the essay and give some feedback!

The Question:

To what extent does Proof show a link between genius and madness?

My Essay:

Three major characters in Proof are mathematicians – Robert, who went insane; Catherine, who worries about becoming mad; and Hal, who tries to be normal. Through their lives, dialogue, actions and relationships, the play examines the common stereotype that genius and madness are inextricably linked.

Robert is a typical example of a genius who developed mental illness. When he was young, Robert was a phenomenal mathematician who "made major contributions to three fields", but he eventually turned into a madman. He believed that "aliens were sending him messages through the Dewey decimal numbers" in books and that he was writing an important new theorem, which was actually nonsense such as "Let X equal the cold". These manifestations of madness reflect Robert's obsession with mathematics, suggesting that genius causes madness. Since his life revolves around mathematics – to the extent that he turns the phone off because "it's a distraction" and work takes priority – it is a part of his identity and his way of expressing himself. However, when Robert is insane, his genius deserts him; an example would be his gibberish proof mentioned above.

His daughter Catherine inherited his mathematical talent and wrote a brilliant proof, but she worries about going mad. Hence she is reluctant to embrace her talent, as she is "afraid [she's] like [her] dad" – that she will either inherit his illness or become insane due to doing mathematics. Catherine shows some signs of mental instability – such as calling the police and reportedly being abusive to them, then sleeping for a week, refusing to eat or talk – but they are insufficient to clearly conclude she is crazy. After all, she had "dropped out of school" and "spent her life" looking after her sick father, who was her only companion. After his death, she is devastated and confused, even commenting that "being taken care of, it doesn't sound so bad", as well as socially alienated. Under such circumstances, her behaviour is understandable and does not appear to be caused by a mental illness.

The third mathematician in the play, Hal, tries to be normal and does seem normal. He plays in a band with several other mathematicians and he says that "they play sports [and] get laid surprisingly often". To him, this should make people "question the whole set of terms" pejoratively associated with mathematicians and other geniuses. On the other hand, he later says that "mathematicians are insane" and describes the conference in Toronto as "forty-eight straight hours of partying, drinking, drugs, papers [and] lectures". Although socially awkward, Hal shows no signs of mental instability and thus defies the stereotype of geniuses as madmen – however, this may be because he is not as naturally talented or obsessed with mathematics as Robert and Catherine.

In conclusion, Proof does demonstrate some link between genius and madness, but the reasons for this link remain unclear. In my opinion, madness is neither inherited nor a natural product of genius. Instead, certain characteristics of mathematics attract eccentric people to the profession and make mathematicians prone to becoming mad.

(504 words)

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Economics Essay (Elasticity Concepts)

2009-09-09T16:35:00.010+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIATING!

Dear cyber-sis, we may have lost touch, but I will never forget you or our friendship. Thanks for being a wonderful cyber-sis and I wish you all the best in your endeavours. Happy birthday also to Emma, one of my Hildan juniors.

Now for another essay, this time an Economics essay on the elasticity concepts. If only the Economics syllabus taught students to manage their most valuable resource - time. Please enjoy reading the essay, feel free to provide feedback and stay tuned for more essays!

The Question:

"Rising incomes in China have caused retailers of domestically produced luxury goods and services to struggle to win a share of consumer's wallets, resulting in rash proposals for expansions through the opening of new outlets." (adapted from The Economist, Aug 3rd 2006)

Discuss the relevance of price elasticity of demand, income elasticity of demand, cross elasticity of demand and price elasticity of supply in explaining the effects of the above-mentioned situation in the market for China-made luxury goods and services.

My Essay:

When the real incomes of Chinese consumers increases, they can afford to purchase more goods, so their demand for normal goods, including luxury goods, increases, ceteris paribus. This increase in demand causes prices to rise and local sellers of luxury goods respond by increasing their quantity supplied to boost total revenue. Price elasticity of demand, income elasticity of demand and cross elasticity of demand are useful in evaluating the extent of the increase in demand, while price elasticity of supply can determine the extent of the increase in quantity supplied – these concepts help retailers make business decisions.

Demand for luxury goods like shark's fin soup is generally price elastic, because their degree of necessity is low and their high prices mean each luxury good comprises a large percentage of a consumer's income. However, as wages rise, Chinese consumers may consider luxury goods more necessary and each luxury good takes up a smaller proportion of income. Hence the price elasticity of demand for luxury goods has fallen, but remains high. Raising prices would cause a more than proportionate fall in demand for luxury goods, leading to a fall in total revenue, ceteris paribus. Although the impact is smaller when incomes are rising, increasing supply of luxury goods is a much better way to maximise total revenue. This is because demand for luxury goods is income elastic and will rise more than proportionately when consumer incomes increase. Even if prices stay unchanged, total revenue will increase, assuming the retailer does not face a shortage of luxury goods.

As production of luxury goods in China increases, more of similar types of luxury goods will be produced by different companies, making substitutes for each luxury good more readily available, ceteris paribus. Domestically produced luxury goods also have to compete with luxury goods imported from abroad, such as Japanese cars. Demand for luxury goods becomes more cross elastic, so retailers will closely monitor the pricing policies of their competitors and may engage in price wars. Sellers of luxury goods also use product differentiation to make their products distinct from those of competitors. Besides decreasing the cross elasticity of demand for their products, product differentiation aims to shift consumer tastes and preferences in favour of their products, increasing demand for their luxury goods. Having more outlets is a form of product differentiation, as their products are more conveniently accessible and awareness of their brand increases, possibly leading to greater loyalty to their brand. Retailers may also consider providing better customer service, advertising their products (using nationalist themes to discourage consumption of imported luxury goods) and holding sales (which is particularly effective for luxury goods, which are expensive). Meanwhile, producers of luxury goods may improve the design of their products and introduce new features to attract consumers.

On the other hand, supply of luxury goods in China is price inelastic, due to the high costs of factors of production, such as gold and silver, which are used to make jewellery. Increasing production and opening new outlets entails constructing new buildings, ordering more machines and hiring new workers – these are all very costly and take time. However, the rise in consumer incomes is likely to be a long-term trend, so increasing supply in the long run is probably worthwhile.

The elasticity concepts are clearly useful in helping us evaluate the market for Chinese luxury goods, but they have their limitations. In reality, firms primarily aim to maximise total profits instead of total revenue. This requires reducing total costs, which is difficult for retailers of luxury goods. Elasticity values are difficult to accurately determine and they change over time – for instance, a sudden recession may reverse the trend of rising incomes. Furthermore, the ceteris paribus assumption rarely holds true in reality and we must consider the influence of other factors, such as government policy.

(635 words)

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History Essay (Religious Fundamentalism)

2009-09-07T23:36:00.005+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Note that Mr Ali said that in the actual exam, we would not have questions dealing with both conflicts at once. Nevertheless, since he did give us this question and I did not complete it in class, I might as well post it here. It may not be JJ-standard but nevertheless, read, enjoy and evaluate.

The Question:

Without the rise of religious fundamentalism, both the Arab-Israeli and Indo-Pakistan conflicts would have been resolved. Examine the validity of this viewpoint with reference to the impact of religion on the two conflicts for the period 1970-2000.

My Essay:

Despite peacemaking efforts by the involved states and the United Nations, the Arab-Israeli and Indo-Pakistan conflicts have not been resolved yet. Religious fundamentalism is prominent in both conflicts and without fundamentalism, resolving the conflicts would be easier. However, there are other key factors, such as secular ideologies and the Cold War, which would prevent peace even in the absence of religious fundamentalism.

The roots of both conflicts lie in religious differences. In the Arab-Israeli conflict, the Jews, who practice Judaism, and the Arabs, who are Muslims, are fighting over land which has religious significance to both groups. Jews believe the West Bank and Gaza Strip are part of the Promised Land of Greater Israel, which God gave them, while Arabs believe they are Muslim holy land. Since 95% of Pakistanis and 75% of Kashmiris are Muslim, Pakistan believes Kashmir should belong to them instead of India, where 80% are Hindus. Pakistanis also consider Hinduism and Islam fundamentally different and fear that Muslims in India would face discrimination by the Hindu majority. Since both conflicts have religious origins, religion played an integral role from the very start.

These religious differences eventually led to the rise of religious fundamentalism. The Likud coalition of Israel and the Bharatiya Janata Party in India both won national elections and came to power. They were unwilling to make concessions to the other side, causing peace processes to fail. Moderate ruling parties also have difficulty making compromises, as they risk angering hardliners and fundamentalists in their country. For example, after the Oslo Accords in 1995, Israeli leader Rabin was assassinated by a religious fanatic. Extremist also engaged in violence that exacerbated animosity between the different religious communities. Islamic militant groups such as Hamas, Hezbollah and Islamic Jihad committed terrorism against Israel, while Islamic fundamentalist organisations such as the All-Party Hurriyat Conference attacked the Hindu and Buddhist minorities in Kashmir. Hence the existence of religious fundamentalism prevents the conflicts from being resolved.

On the other hand, we cannot overlook the influence of secular factors which thwarted resolution of the conflicts, notably the secular ideology of nationalism. Nationalism is the belief that a nation – a group of people with a common ethnicity, history, language and culture – should have a self-governing state. The Arab-Israeli conflict resulted from a clash between Zionism, Arab nationalism and Palestine nationalism – which arose due to secular factors like discrimination – and each side was reluctant to give way due to their nationalist ideology. Meanwhile, Kashmiris believed that their distinct identity was being suppressed by India, fuelling discontent with Indian rule and worsening the situation. Furthermore, some of these nationalist ideologies contributed to the rise of religious fundamentalism – for instance, Arab nationalism led to Islamic fundamentalism. Thus nationalism is a major obstacle to peace.

Insecurity and mistrust also hampered resolution of the conflicts. Due to their history as a persecuted diaspora, Jews developed a siege mentality and dislike other parties proposing peace plans. They rejected the idea of a Palestinian state and refused to negotiate with the Palestine Liberation Organisation in 1988 due to fears over terrorism. In the Indo-Pakistan conflict, both sides perceived themselves as vulnerable minorities. Feeling insecure, both sides to develop and test nuclear weapons, raising the possibility of a nuclear exchange between the states. Unless all sides feel more secure and trust each other, the conflicts will not be resolved.

Peace agreements failed to bring about peace as each side interpreted them differently. Although the Oslo Accords did not indicate that Israel should stop building settlements in the Occupied Territories, the Palestinians believed this was implied and were unhappy when Israel continued building settlements. Likewise, India believed the Simla Agreement, signed after the 1971 Bangladeshi War of Independence, superseded past United Nations resolutions and removed the need for a plebiscite, but Pakistan disagreed. These disagreements will stop peace processes, regardless of the presence or lack thereof of religious fundamentalism.

Last but not least, the Cold War obstructed resolution of the conflicts. In the Arab-Israeli conflict, the USA supported Israel and the USSR backed the Arabs, while in the Indo-Pakistan conflict, the USA supported Pakistan and the USSR backed India. Both superpowers vetoed United Nations Security Council resolutions on the conflicts, so the United Nations was not a viable venue for resolving the conflicts. In addition, the superpowers provided economic and military aid to their allies, allowing the involved states to engage in wars. Without religious fundamentalism, the Cold War would still have made the conflicts difficult to resolve – but the Cold War ended in 1991.

In conclusion, there are many factors hindering resolution of the conflicts and religious fundamentalism is by no means the most important one. In fact, the factors are interlinked – for example, nationalism was a cause of religious fundamentalism.

(789 words)

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Ten tips for failing exams (and ten tips for acing them)

2009-09-05T18:25:00.012+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Guys, why study so hard when after your A-Levels, you will die in NS? Girls, why study hard when adulthood is going to really suck? You might as well retain and extend your life by a year. So here are ten tips for failing your exams:

Study half the syllabus the night before.
Then play DOTA until 3am.
Leave your brain at home or on the bus to school.
Set your watch two hours fast.
Tell yourself you are going to fail.
Freak out and fall asleep after five minutes.
Have a bad stomachache after waking up with fifteen minutes left.
Write one-line answers to essay questions.
Be very careless for maths questions. 1 divided by 1 is 0?
With fifteen minutes left, give joke answers like these.

Since a year only has 365 days and you are going to fail the exam anyway, why not have a fun failure? Now for ten ways to fail with style:

Yawn blatantly loudly, without covering your mouth, every other minute.
Constantly shout that you just lost The Game.
Do the entire exam in another language
Find creative reasons, such as religious beliefs, to refuse to answer every question.
Answer each question with poems insulting the examiner.
Keep singing: "Mari kita ya你妈跳楼自杀变成roti prata ! Hallelujah!"
Fold your script into paper planes and cranes. Aim them at the examiner.
Abruptly run out of the examination venue, saying your favourite TV show is on.
Accuse someone sitting near you of copying your answers.
Take apart your table and chair. Ask for new ones. Repeat.

If you, like me, actually want to do well in your exams, here are ten serious tips for acing them:

Aim for specific grades. Constantly remind yourself of your target and why you want to achieve it.
Develop a study schedule which is easy to follow and flexible. For example, if you take six subjects, one for each day of the week, with the seventh for resting and as a backup.
Develop a short ritual that can instantly put you in the right mood before study sessions and exams. Mine involves Fiona photos, a unique hand movement, my favourite song and a prayer.
During study sessions, play soothing instrumental music, which helps you relax and stay focused.
Use fun and creative approaches to learning. Humorous visualisations and mnemonics help you remember information.
Make your own summary notes (such as tables and mind maps) and repeatedly go through them, so all the key points are at your fingertips. That was how I survived Chemistry.
Compile and complete practice papers. Do them under exam conditions to improve your time management.
Go through your mistakes and learn from them. Bombard your teachers with questions! Besides lessons, arrange consultations to clarify all your doubts.
Your body and brain must be ready for the exam. Get a good sleep the night before, then a shower and good breakfast in the morning (Brand's Chicken Essence helps). Remember your ritual.
Be pragmatic, not a perfectionist. My obsession with perfect English does not help my Economics grades. I once failed a Literature exam for writing two good essays and not having time to start the third. Learn from my mistakes.

Of course, these ten tips (the serious ones, I mean) are very generic. How you apply them depends on the specific demands of each subject, as well as your own strengths and weaknesses (which you should be aware of). Nevertheless, I hope that you found the serious tips useful and enjoyed the funny ones. Starting the holidays with some humour helps relieve stress, so you will be in the right mood to - go and study now!

DISCLAIMER: JJ shall not be held responsible for the consequences of trying any of the tips above (especially the second type). Although I thought up some of the tips, most came from other online sources.

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Testing Times...

2009-08-25T22:22:00.023+08:00

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INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - MORNING

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENXIN!

I swear, if the Ng family lived in Tampines, I would have run away from home long ago. Well, if I pass my Promos, pass the A-Levels with flying colours and survive two years of NS, I plan to run away from home and join the Ng family. The daily commute to NUS (or NTU) would be much shorter and JJ would be much happier, with three new "siblings" and better "parents".

Even my closest friends do not understand why I am doing Writeathons now. My motto has changed from "JJ just wants to write" to "JJ just needs to write until his fingers drop off to avoid being overwhelmed by all his problems". Gab says I am running away from my situation. Perhaps I am, but the harsh reality is that when I do confront them, I only make things worse. With the Promos six weeks away, I simply do not have the time and energy to spend addressing my other issues. Failing and being kicked out would completely destroy my world and JJ may respond like Cho Seung-Hui. At least my results are, to a large extent, in my own hands, and I will do all I can to secure my academic future. I love writing and always have, to the extent that I want to spend my life writing, so I will keep writing and writing and writing. If I do promote, I can work on other areas, such as my Service Learning Project.

A transitional era of my life has become a make-or-break stage of my life. As the title notes, these are testing times and that my mid-term tests (a misnomer, as the term will end in two weeks) are in progress is not a coincidence. Last week's Economics test was a disaster and the two Literature tests did not go well either. The GP Comprehension test today was much better and although I did not study for the History test yesterday, I feel fairly confident for that too. Tomorrow I shall have another shot at passing a Maths test for the first time since November 2007. Will JJ succeed? Only time will tell...

Time to get back to my Writeathons! Besides Literature essays, GP Reading Logs and Maths questions, I will soon have Economics essays and writing assignments from my CCAs. Two articles for TPJClink and a Gavel project speech or two. Ms de Souza also informed the class about an essay competition organised by Unifem, about immigrants. How fascinating! These will keep me busy and contribute towards my SGC, half of my ticket to my dream media course in NUS or NTU. However, I will also find time to blog - after all, blogging is also writing (so is writing for Wikipedia, which I have not done for months).

P.S. Looks like Wenxin's birthday is also a lucky day for the football clubs I support. On 25 August 2007, Chelsea defeated Portsmouth 1-0 at Stamford Bridge; this victory was then-manager Jose Mourinho's 100th consecutive unbeaten home league match (including 36 home matches with Porto). Today, Tampines Rovers recorded their fourth victory over Geylang United this season (three in the S.League and one in the Singapore League Cup). Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya ya, yippee yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! The Stags had just registered three consecutive losses to Albirex, SAFFC and Home United before beating Balestier, so this win over our archrivals is a welcome morale booster ahead of our Singapore Cup double-header against Albirex, a chance to exact revenge. If Tampines advance to the semi-finals, they may play the Eagles again, but they have to overcome Albirex first - I may watch the home leg with Gab and cheer the Stags on through the sun and rain, while spending quality time with a friend who could change my life!

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Economics Essay (Large and Small Firms)

2009-08-23T18:24:00.008+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

My Writeathons continue unabated and continue to eat up my time. Here is an Economics essay on the question I am spotting for Promos. Enjoy and evaluate!

The Question:

Larger firms enjoy lower costs thus they can charge lower prices.

(a) Explain why large firms may enjoy lower costs.

(b) Discuss the view that large firms are beneficial in the view of the cost savings they enjoy.

My Essay (part a):

As firms expand production, they are able to lower their cost of production, as they benefit from several types of internal economies of scale.

Technical economies of scale enable large firms to produce more efficiently through methods that are not viable for small firms. Large firms can have multiple production stages – for instance, making the engine, windscreen and seats of a car – in one factory, thus reduces the cost of transporting factors of production. They can also produce at higher capacity by automating tasks with specialised but expensive machinery that small firms cannot fully utilise.

Workers can specialise in specific tasks and by repeating them, become highly skilled and more efficient at carrying out their tasks. Similarly, large firms benefit from managerial economies of scale, as they can hire experts to manage each stage of production, as well as areas unrelated to production, such as marketing and customer support. As a result, production becomes more efficient and less costly.

Marketing economies of scale also help large firms lower production costs. Due to their higher purchasing power, large firms can obtain factors of production at lower prices. They can buy in bulk and buy directly from producers instead of wholesalers. In addition, the average (per unit) cost of advertising is lower for large firms.

Last but not least, financial economies of scale give large firms an advantage in obtaining credit. Banks consider large firms more trustworthy borrowers, as they have more assets and can pay off debts more easily. Therefore large firms are able to secure huge loans, on better terms such as lower interest.

In conclusion, large firms have many opportunities to reduce production costs by leveraging on economies of scale. They should be aware of and take advantage of such opportunities. However, the application of these concepts varies from firm to firm, depending on factors such as the industry the firm operates in.

My Essay (part b):

Large firms have more resources as well as lower production costs and are thus more able to meet consumer needs, for several reasons. Large firms have wide networks and hence are able to serve consumers in many locations. For example, a supermarket with many outlets offers consumers convenience and accessibility, while a computer store with many outlets makes it easier for people to receive customer support.

With their profits, large firms have the ability to engage in research and development. In oligopolies and working monopolies, they also have the incentive to innovate to stay ahead of the competition and thus increase their profits. As a result, consumers benefit from the introduction of better products. In addition, large firms are able to diversify and cater to many niche markets. For example, large car manufactures can produce cars of different colours and engine sizes; they can also make hybrid cars. This increases the variety of products available to consumers and consumer choice.

Since large firms have market power, they are able to price discriminate. For example, airlines offer first class, business class and economy class seats at different prices. Likewise, transport operators charge children and the elderly lower prices. This improves consumer welfare by making goods more accessible to consumers with lower purchasing powers.

By reaping internal economies of scale, large firms can produce more efficiently, obtain factors of production at lower prices and secure credit more easily. This reduces their production costs and they may decrease prices as a result. Consumers would benefit from lower prices.

However, large firms have several disadvantages. Excessive expansion may cause internal diseconomies of scale to set in. To create new demand, overly large firms may have to advertise at high costs. They may also become more difficult to manage, as most communication is from superiors to subordinates, causing ill feelings. Moreover, large firms are unable to provide personalised services, so consumers may be sold products that are not entirely suitable for them.

There is also a risk that large firms may exploit consumers for profit. Monopolies, especially pure monopolies have little incentive to innovate or produce at maximum efficiency. They may intentionally control supply to keep prices and their profits high. They may also engage in anti-competitive practices such as predatory pricing, price fixing or tie-in sales. Large firms in an oligopoly may form a cartel, agreeing on pricing and output decisions for the benefit of them instead of the consumers. Like monopolies, cartels may control supply, engage in anti-competitive practices or have little incentive to innovate or stay efficient.

In conclusion, oligopolies are probably the best market structure, as large firms retain all their advantages but the risk of exploitation is much lower. However, some industries lack diseconomies of scale and are thus natural monopolies. Such monopolies may need government supervision or even state ownership.

(785 words)

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Mad Guy's Emotional Rants

2009-08-18T23:02:00.013+08:00

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INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - MORNING

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, EDMUND!

Everybody makes mistakes. Yours may be more serious than most. But I believe you can learn from them, turn over a new leaf and lead a better life. Have faith in yourself and have the determination to change things. That is the spirit I desperately need too, as I try to stay sane, to go through each day without breaking down, to focus on my Writeathons and what I need to do.

The day started with an Economics test in a cold auditorium. The first half of the essay question was barely doable, as I did not have enough to write, but I am slightly more confident for the second half. The summary notes I made last night certainly helped, but as I was typing them out, lightning struck a second time. Thankfully JJ had his trusty secret weapons - a morning bath, Brand's Chicken Essence, soothing music and Fiona photos.

Speaking of Fiona, I have a message for her (though I doubt she will ever read my blog):

FIONA, PLEASE DON'T QUIT! DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN! KEEP DOING WHAT YOU LOVE AND SOAR TO GREATER HEIGHTS! YOUR FANS LOVE YOU AND WILL ALWAYS SUPPORT YOU! IF I ACHIEVE MY DREAM, YOU WILL BE PART OF IT! STAY AWESOME!

Despite forgetting to bring my GP file and complete my comprehension, I enjoyed the GP tutorial. The recent National Day Rally showed that Singapore is becoming more open about racial issues. This bodes well for racial harmony - for example, my Malay and Indian friends are now more willing to answer my questions about their cultures. So our GP topic was racism and we (especially JJ) respectfully discussed racism and racial issues. But the video we watched definitely did not - it showed Kumar, a Singaporean drag queen who identifies as LGBT, cracking blatantly racist jokes in front of several hundred people. According to Ms de Souza, he has not been charged under the Sedition Act. Why not? If I posted his racist jokes here (of course, I would not), I almost certainly would be. Being more open about racial issues should not mean accepting racism like the West; on my online communities, I meet many nice people of all races, but I also meet many racist Westerners (especially LGBTs).

I have many painful memories (though not really a broken heart) that I want to forget, but ironically, the more you try to forget something, the more you remember it. For Literature, we analysed two poems about two types about unrequited love and the persona of Mad Girl's Love Song certainty learnt that lesson the hard way. After repeated attempts to forget her lover, she grows insane and has some scary delusions. Equally eerie is The Breather, where the persona realises his lover does not actually exist - he has two phones, uses one to call the other and then answers the other! So what is real and what is merely an illusion?

Miss Fernandez suggested that depression stimulates creativity. Since entering JC, JJ has been pretty depressed. Does that make yours truly more creative? Maybe I should compose another poem and post it here. But composing poems takes time and thought, so I had better stop here and do some reflections.

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Literature Unseen Poetry Comparison Essay (Crossing the Threshold and Rites of Passage)

2009-08-16T20:29:00.006+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Now I spend several hours per day on my Writeathons and my blog (which I have been neglecting) ought to reflect that. To help myself (and others) prepare for the Promos, I will be publishing several essays on my blog. This essay is for a poetry comparison assignment that is, ironically, for my class Literature blog project. Blogging can complement my studying instead of conflicting with it. If only my parents would realise that.

Well, just enjoy reading the essay and feel free to evaluate it. Stay tuned for more essays!

The Question:

No official question was given. We have to write a critical appreciation comparing the two poems.

The First Poem: Rites of Passage

Something is taking place.
Horns bud bright in my hair.
My feet are turning hoof.
And Father, see my face
Skin that was damp and fair
Is barklike and, feel, rough.

See Greytop how I shine.
I rear, break loose, I neigh
Snuffing the air, and harden
Towards a completion, mine
And next I make my way
Adventuring through your garden.

My play is earnest now. I canter to and fro.
My blood, it is like light.
Behind an almond bough,
Horns gaudy with its snow,
I wait live, out of sight.

All planned before my birth
For you, Old Man, no other,
Whom your groin’s trembling warns.
I stamp upon the earth
A message to my mother.
And then I lower my horns

The Second Poem: Crossing the Threshold

You’re still living in a child’s world
Nothing can possibly go wrong
Testing fate is a job
You still feel invincible
Death is not a possibility

In this world your friends are always there
They catch you before you fall
And never disappear
Whether they’re treated like gods or dirt
If not, they were never real friends

Lies and misgivings are a foundation
Parents are just annoying
Temptations are a right of passage
Trust is an illusion
And acceptance is a mask

That world is beginning to end
And a new one to surface
Here you are mortal
You CAN be defeated
Fear becomes a way of life

Here, decisions must be made
Failure cannot be an option
Planning is a necessity
Your life centers on what you can afford
Your life is no longer planned

True friends are there for you
But know when to back off
Intolerant of ill treatment
They tell you when you’re wrong
And know if you’re truly sorry

You need to make a decision
Right here and now
Will you allow a future, a clean slate?
Or try to live in the past with all of your mistakes.
In one direction lies a future, a second chance
The other an endless loop of things going wrong
Choose now, for you may not get another chance

My Essay:

Rites of Passage and Crossing the Threshold are poems about growing up. In Rites of Passage, the persona is growing up and exploring the impact of his growth, while in Crossing the Threshold, the persona explains the nature of growing up to her child. The poems comment on maturity, freedom, the adult world and parents; Rites of Passage focuses on positive aspects while Crossing the Threshold emphasises negative effects.

Both poems agree that growth results in maturity, which makes one wiser. Rites of Passage uses turning into a horse as a metaphor for growing up. The persona notes that his skin changes from being "damp and fair" to "barklike" and "rough". He also develops horse-like body parts – his feet are "turning hoof" and "horns" are growing from his hair. These changes symbolise his gradually toughening up to face the challenges ahead. In addition, his blood becomes "like light", signifying self-enlightenment. Similarly, the persona of Crossing the Threshold considers growing up a "clean slate" and a "second chance" to learn from mistakes. In her opinion, immaturity is "living in the past" with "an endless loop of things going wrong" and one needs to mature to become a better person.

However, the personas have dissimilar views on the impact of growing up on freedom. The persona of Rites of Passage believes that with growing up comes freedom. He "[breaks] loose" and lives "out of sight", showing that he is now independent and no longer under supervision. By using the words "mine" and "my way" he asserts his control over his life. In contrast, the persona of Crossing the Threshold suggests that growing up gives one more responsibilities and thus restricts freedom. She says that "decisions must be made" and "planning is a necessity"; one has no choice but to accept these responsibilities. According to her, "temptations are a right of passage", a pun on "rite of passage" – everyone must face and overcome them to mature.

Each persona also has a different perception of the worlds that growing up opens. Rites of Passage mentions physical changes the persona undergoes, then includes references to his nearby surroundings, notably his "adventuring" in a "garden". Eventually the poem alludes to natural phenomena such as "almond bough" and "snow". This gradual progression implies that growing up slowly reveals new possibilities. With a rebellious tone, the persona "[stamps] upon the earth", declaring his independence and desire to have an impact on the world. Crossing the Threshold has a more pessimistic outlook, comparing the security of the "child's world", where "nothing can possibly go wrong" and "friends are always there", with the danger of the adult world, where one "can be defeated" and "failure is not an option". The adult world is portrayed as a harsh and "intolerant" one full of deception, as "trust is an illusion" and "acceptance is a mask". In this new world, being independent means having to fend for oneself, as "your life centers on what you can afford".

The youths in the poems have different feelings about and reactions to growing up. Initially the persona of Rites Passage is confused, sensing that "something is taking place", and unsure about his new environment, "snuffing the air" to familiarise himself with it. Then he becomes proud, telling his father to "see…how [he] shines", and excited about his newfound freedom and opportunities, as seen by his "adventuring" and "[cantering] to and fro". Although the child in Crossing the Threshold does not express her thoughts about growing up, from her silence and the persona urging her to grow up, we can infer that she feels confused and apprehensive about growing up.

Another theme in both poems is the parent-child relationship, with Rites of Passage exploring changes in the relationship after the persona grows up and Crossing the Threshold focusing on the relationship before the child grows up. In the first stanza of Rites of Passage, the persona calls his father "Father", but later, he addresses his father as "Greytop" and "Old Man". Such disrespect indicates that his father has lost authority over him and even fears him, causing "groin's trembling". Both terms also connote old age, insinuating that the father will become irrelevant, while the "your" in "your garden" hints that the persona will experience a journey similar to his father's. The persona of Crossing the Threshold nags at her child for the entire poem and the child has no chance to respond, showing that she holds strong authority over, and possibly oppresses, her child. She brainwashes her child, saying parents are "just annoying", compared to other dangers.

In my opinion, both poems present one-sided views of growing up, but nevertheless offer valuable insights into the nature and process of growing up. I agree more with Crossing the Threshold and wish to hear from the silent child.

(799 words)

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Writeathon In Progress, First Lap Completed - Go Forward, Onward!

2009-08-13T17:47:00.004+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Today, JJ is pleased with himself, because he has completed his Essay Marathon! GMH.

Five Literature essays, one GP essay and twelve Maths questions. All finished. A couple of days behind schedule, but a worthy accomplishment nevertheless. My time management has improved! RS (whom I miss after a month of not chatting with each other) was right - all that essay writing and Maths practice gave me less time to think about other issues. Unfortunately, a family disaster struck as I was completing my last essay - I will disclose details to close friends upon private request.

Since Maths questions are not essays, "essay marathon" is a misnomer. How about "writeathon"? JJ is writing a ton, after all. With the conclusion of my first Writeathon, I plan to hold another (in my room, with my girlfriend, as usual) if my family disaster does not prevent me from doing so. The second Writeathon will be more ambitious; its to-do list is as follows:

Maths: Tutorial 7 Q 3, 12, 15, 16, 17, 18
Maths: Tutorial 8a Q1, 2a, 3a, 4a, 4c, 5a, 6, 7c, 7d
Maths: STAR Worksheet 3 on Functions, Q1-8
Maths: STAR Worksheet 4 on Inequalities, Q1-5
Literature: Unseen Poetry Comparison Essay - Crossing the Threshold and Rites of Passage (to be posted on class Lit blog and will also be posted here)
Literature: Unseen Poetry Comparison Essay - Mad Girl's Love Song and The Breather
GP: Comprehension on Human Rights
GP: Reading Log - How Twitter Will Change The Way We Live
GP: Reading Log - Cutting Off A Continent
GP: Reading Log - Why South Africa's Over The Rainbow
TPJClink: Photo captioning and a short writeup about competitions recently hosted by Gavel Club.

So far I have completed my first two Reading Logs. If my second Writeathon is a success, I may organise more Writeathons - maybe even one per week! That would really prepare me for the Promos. Now I wish I had time for a blogathon (blogging marathon) as well - I have plenty of thoughts to share. I also wish my family situation will get better.

Going to write another essay. See you soon, friends! Consider having your own Writeathons as well!

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Singapore Satire

2009-08-09T15:10:00.024+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE! 祝新加坡共和国生日快乐！ SELAMAT HARI LAHIR SINGAPURA! <3

Some younger Singaporeans have no sense of belonging or national pride. They keep saying that Singapore sucks because our government is too restrictive, so they will emigrate once they have the opportunity (without considering that they would be discriminated against in other countries). What a shame.

All countries and cultures have flaws. As a proud Singaporean, I embrace both the good and bad parts of the Singaporean identity. In fact, being able to laugh at the negative aspects of Singaporean society is a hallmark of a true Singaporean. So check out the links in this post for lots of super Singaporean satirical humour!

I enjoy singing national songs, but some criticise them as artifical and propagdaistic. They would probably enjoy parodies of national songs, such as Count on Him (PM Lee) Singapore by local singer Dick Lee and a parody of We are Singapore included in Royston Tan's short film Cut, which lampoons our censors. During the 1998 Asian financial crisis, Singaporeans composed several parodies that reflected the economic climate, such as Count Money Singapore, Fare Up for Singapore and We are Chin Kang Kor ("chin kang kor" is Hokkien for "suffering"). Even our national anthem is not spared - in primary school, we used to insult people by singing: "Mari kita ya 跳楼自杀变成 roti prata! Halllelujah! 他的妈妈是个 gorilla!"

But a song about Singapore need not parody a national song to be funny. Do you remember the SAR-vivor Rap, a TV commercial where Phua Chu Kang teaches Singaporeans how to "minus" the SARS virus? How about We Live in Singapura, a song that satirically summarises the history of our Little Red Dot? Lesser known is The NS Song, which makes me worry whether I will survive two years later.

Songs aside, YouTube has several funny videos about Singaporean culture. Did you know that even Hitler has ERP woes and hopes Singapore will not introduce EBP (Electronic Bicycle Pricing)? Or that if you work at a food stall, you should not speak too much Singlish, lest you offer your customers a "cock" instead of coke? As for the well known RK House No Pork prank, I find it somewhat racist, albeit funny.

Would you like some Singaporean jokes? Many Singaporeans are familiar with TalkingCock.com and the Persistently Non-Political Podcast, but they are not the only destinations for Singaporean jokes. Consider checking out the extensive collection on MoreThanFun, but be forewarned that some of their jokes may be offensive. You may also enjoy the less thorough compilation at the Singaporean section of AsianJoke.

Enjoy the songs, videos and jokes! Feel free to recommend links to Singaporean humour that I have not mentioned in this post.

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The results I reaped show I did not sow enough...

2009-07-28T22:37:00.008+08:00

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INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - MORNING

General Paper
Turns out the essay question was not a simple "new media versus traditional media" question. Reading can be done online, like how you are reading this blog right now. Some of my points were thus out of point, but I did score a C for the essay. What worries me is that I just barely managed to pass my comprehension. I screwed up the supposedly-not-too-difficult inferential and in-your-own-words questions. I also wrote nonsense for the AQ, but...scored 4/6. What a pleasant surprise.

Economics
How prophetic - JJ actually scored an E for Economics! I am relieved that I passed, but am not satisfied with this result. Last year, I scored an A in the mid-years and C in the Promos, so I hope this E means I will ACE Economics in the upcoming Promos! I did decently for the Case Study and my marks for part A of the first essay exceeded expectations, but the rest was crap. With my superficial understanding of the concepts, all the essay-writing skills in the world could not save me. 1 mark out of 10 for the first half of the second question? How pathetic. I know I do have the potential - how do I realise it?

Mathematics
The last Maths exam JJ passed took place in November 2007. I hoped this streak would end in the mid-years, but the harsh reality is that I scored another U, most of my class failed and our class was the worst in the entire cohort. Thanks to private Maths tuition, my understanding of basic concepts has improved, but this was not reflected in my results, due to poor time management. Why, oh why did I waste nearly an hour figuring out the first two questions?

History
I can score Bs for History without really studying. Can I score As in History if I really study? Not on my first try. I forgot to leave a space before each paragraph, so the marker mistook two small paragraphs for one huge paragraph. Next to my elaboration for the latter paragraph was written "how is that related to religion?", even though my topic sentence clearly showed that the latter paragraph was not discussing religion, but Palestine expectations. Nevertheless, I am satisfied with the B and will study even harder (and smarter)!

Literature
I knew the row with my father would affect my concentration, but I really, really wanted to pass my favourite subject. Once I realised I did not, my heart sank. I scored an E for the Proof question, an S for the Amy's View question and a U for the Unseen Poetry question, for an overall grade of S. I have let Miss Fernandez down yet again. Ironically, Literature is the only subject which I did better in, compared to the mid-years last year, where I only did two questions out of three and scored a U as a result.

Overall
Even worse than the mid-years last year. With the new promotional criteria for retainees being at least an E for all subjects, being kicked out is a real possibility. I know I must buck up and start mugging, but that is easier said than done.

I remember how in SHSS, I would react to bullying and ostracism by studying harder, to spite the bullies with my good results. How can I regain that spirit? How can I learn to not give a damn about my other issues? How can I immerse myself in the academic world instead of the online world?

Such questions are easy to ask but difficult to answer. If they were easy to answer, I would have found the answer a long time ago. But I must keep searching for answers, because I must. Desperation may bring out the best in me and I look forward to being able to spend a day writing five essays (especially Literature essays) and doing twenty Maths questions (to finally end that streak and make our class not last, but last from bottom, meaning first).

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A Template Makeover!

2009-07-22T19:28:00.026+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S BLOG - TIMELESS

Apologies for the recent lack of updates. Besides being bogged down by schoolwork, JJ has been preparing a massive makeover of the template. Next on my agenda is a long-overdue massive makeover of my life.

Rome was not built in a day. Neither was the template makeover. Some parts of the makeover have been released, while others require a couple more days of testing, but here is what the makeover entails:

A new background photo. The T-shirt symbolises my identity in a manner the previous photo could not. I would rather not show my face; neither would Nicholas and the rest. Furthermore, that was taken in 2005 and is really outdated.
New background music. Although I am not a gangster, I love the song 一生绝望, which truly describes how I (and many others) struggle in an intolerant society.
A new font face for all my posts. Do you know the significance of 12-point Courier?
A Random Memories section under "his armour". The array currently has only four photos, but more will be added eventually.
A Don't Click Here button. Disobedient people will be punished by having to answer a simple "How well do you know JJ?" quiz.
New Random Jokes and Random Trivia! Did you know that Rogers Communications lost $2.13 million over a misplaced comma in a contract? Or that people have noses that run and feet that smell?
Some cosmetic changes. For example, the image of my e-mail address is now more CAPTCHA-like. Date stamps, time stamps and post titles now have blue background tables as well. To make links easier on the eye, I changed the link colour to white.

P.S. Happy birthday, FSS (Starshine)! <3 Your birthday coincides with the date I created my first Hildanknight account - 22 July 2005.

P.P.S. Once the makeover is complete, I will resume regular blogging. But the Promos are approaching and I must study harder. Perhaps I shall post more essays on my blog, using it as a study tool.

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A (belated) birthday poem for RS (Ginseng)

2009-07-12T22:54:00.015+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RS (Ginseng)! <3

Make the most of your last year as a teenager. Make new friendships and strengthen existing ones. Do what you love, do it well and do not let the bastards grind you down. Most importantly, stay happy every day, not just on your birthday!

That is the message of the following poem which I now present to you as a belated birthday present. Each stanza is a haiku which can stand alone but fits well into the poem. With hardly any time to compose poetry nowadays, I sacrificed nearly ten hours of sleep over several days to write this, but that is no excuse for finishing the poem so late. I also regret that we could not meet up.

Now just sit back and enjoy reading the poem:

Happy Days Ahead (by J.L.W.S. The Special One)

Grow - up, wiser, but
Keep your childlike smile; have your
Cake and eat it too.

Blow, wish - that candle
Lights us a path of hope and
Burns flames of passion.

Dreams do come true, yes
We can - sleep, wake up, take steps,
Strive towards success.

Life's tests do not kill,
But strengthen - be brave, believe,
You'll overcome them.

Close friendships like ours
Shall sail us through storms - touching
Winds blow towards gold

Treasure each moment -
With its own special shine; smile, stay
Happy every day!

FADE OUT

Fionalicious Pixie Photos!

2009-07-05T22:21:00.009+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Exhausted after exams, JJ is not in the mood to write good, long posts. I plan to complete my remaining homework, prepare my Gavel Projects, decide on a birthday present for RS, change my blogskin and do a hundred other things. So for my weekend post, I shall share 9 Fiona photos from my collection (of 63 and counting). I chose photos that show Fiona alone, at her prettiest, while excluding revealing photos (such as one showing her in a bathtub).

If you like the photos, check out two videos which show collections of Fiona photos! Still can't get enough of Fiona? Try drinking some PeelFresh fruit juice and Carlsberg beer, then buy some jewellery from Citigems!

JJ will resume regular blogging later in the week, so stay tuned! If you have more Fiona photos (or want the one showing her in a bathtub), please Gmail me.

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Examining my examinations...

2009-07-03T21:52:00.034+08:00

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INT. TAMPINES JUNIOR COLLEGE - DAY

General Paper
The night before the exam, I dreamt that a question on censorship came out and I wrote the best essay in TP, topping GP as a result. Do dreams come true? Not this one. Well, there were two Media questions in Paper 1 and I chose the interesting: "There is hardly incentive to read in today's multimedia age. Is this true?" In my not-so-humble opinion, my essay was well written, peppered with examples and had a creative conclusion. Does reading e-books count as reading? With the rise of the new media, technologies like the Amazon Kindle have the potential to revolutionise print media!

Although I do not take Geography, I plan to spot Environment for upcoming GP exams. Thus I was happy to receive an interesting comprehension passage about how to address environmental issues, with the Kyoto Protocol failing and expiring soon. The questions and vocabulary were not difficult, but for the summary, we were restricted to taking material from only three paragraphs, so I did not have enough to write. Application Questions are never easy, but this one was just doable.

Economics
E for Economics. I think that will be my grade. The Case Study was quite easy but it only accounts for 20 of the 70 marks. Remember, JJ, not to spent nearly 10 minutes writing almost three paragraphs for a 2-mark question! As for the essays, what can I say? Unlike last year, I have trouble remembering the finer details, although I can still grasp the important concepts easily. Hence my essays were very vague and lacking in elaboration. To compound matters, I ran out of time despite not putting any effort into improving my handwriting. After all, it was my third paper of the day and my fingers hurt from all that writing (typing does not hurt my fingers, though).

Mathematics
When did JJ last pass a Maths test? In November 2007. Yes, the O-Level Elementary and Additional Mathematics exams. That streak sucks and I hope to end it by passing Maths in the mid-years. With only four topics to study (three of which are "easy"), I fancied my chances until I wasted nearly an hour on the first two questions and eventually gave up, leaving both half-done. I decided to skip several parts I knew would take ages to finish (as you guessed, drawing graphs) and focused on the questions I could complete and earn marks from. Unfortunately, those marks may not be enough, especially if carelessness rears its ugly head, so I think I have a 50-50 chance of passing. Note the "I think" - I may not have any chance in reality. My Maths has improved, but the improvements so far are not enough; that the new tution teacher is not as good as my previous one does not help.

History
I expected the essay question to be about either the origins of the Arab-Israeli conflict or the obstacles to resolving it. The night and morning before the paper, I prepared and memorised two pages of notes (one for Origins, one for Obstacles). Upon turning over the paper and seeing a question about the obstacles to resolution ("Israel's national security concerns" = their seige mentality), I wrote furiously, produced a great essay, finished several minutes ahead of time and walked out of the classroom happy. As chess players say, defeated my opponent (the essay) with my home preparation. May JJ get an A!

Literature
Once the History paper was history, JJ headed home with high hopes for Literature. But minutes after entering the house, my father and I had a row - it was not my fault. That totally killed my mood to study, so I slacked and played relaxing music, hoping to get back into studying mood. My mother did not help by shouting at me about why I was not studying - shortly after, I submitted my second FML. I did manage to study for a couple of hours after a bath. Before long, my previously-clean copies of Proof and Amy's View were soon bleeding with uderlines of various colours (I gave up on Skylight as there was no light in the sky). Thankfully the exam was in the afternoon - I continued underlining stuff in the morning.

The paper was moderately difficult. We were told the Proof (Reading Literature) question would be about characterisation and it was. But restricting us to Act 1 Scene 1 turned what would otherwise be a easy question into a hard one. With the events of the night before still weighing on my mind, I took nearly half the alloted time to finish my Proof essay. For the Amy's View/Skylight (Contemporary British Literature) question (about betrayal), I only took examples from Amy's View because I was short of time and not that familiar with Skylight (we have only gone through a quarter of the book). Then I rushed through the Unseen question, though I did manage to write a decent essay. Failure is still a possibility, though not that likely.

Overall
Looks like I will do well for my H1s and badly for my H2s. Well, I know how much I "studied" and I guess I deserve what I will get. I just hope my parents will not react too harshly, especially if I do fail a subject. What is done is done. I have to learn from my mistakes and start preparing for the Promos. How can I manage my time properly and stop worrying about other issues?

FADE OUT

First to the Tampines Stadium, then to Tampines JC

2009-06-28T22:47:00.013+08:00

FADE IN
INT. TAMPINES STADIUM - EVENING

The Singapore League Cup sucked, because all matches were played at Jalan Besar Stadium (but not telecast on Channel 5) and Tampines Rovers lost on penalties to SAFFC at the quarter-finals, despite defeating Geylang 3-0 in the group stage. Only one match was played at the Tampines Stadium during the holidays, but it was another Eastern derby; how could I miss it? Besides enjoying my Zinger Meal during the first half, I did bring and did read my Economics notes during half-time plus for much of the second half.

My Stags won 3-1, thanks to the opener by the incredible Noh Alam Shah, another goal from Qiu Li and a penalty from captain Fahrudin Mustafic. After Fahrudin scored, I met that nice Indian man again and had another chat with him, during which I realised they offered free drinks - no wonder they could cheer so much without being thirsty! Yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya, yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya ya, yippee yippee ya ya yippee yippee ya! I wanted him to take a photo of me at the stands, holding the club flag and watching the players. That did not materialise, but I can try taking the photo on 2 July, when the Super Reds come to the Tampines Stadium, or on 19 July, when Tampines host DPMM.

Like all good things, the holidays have ended. 我又要回去那个每个人都曾经坐过的监牢。I still hope that TP will report a H1N1 case so our mid-year exams will be postponed for a week. My holidays did not go according to plan (though I did achieve some of my targets) and I have only studied for some subjects. Nevertheless, I will do my best and I wish everyone in TP all the best for the mid-year exams!

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GP Essay: Is there still any value in censorship?

2009-06-25T18:33:00.012+08:00

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INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

JJ is praying that GP Paper 1 will include a Media question, maybe even two. If there are none, I believe I can still write a decent essay, but Media essays are the most fun to write and will earn me the most marks. To help myself (and perhaps others) prepare for the upcoming mid-year exams, I have decided to post another essay - this time, a GP essay on censorship. Note that my focus is on writing a high-scoring essay, not on sharing my views. Nevertheless, jut enjoy reading the essay, pick up some pointers and give me feedback.

The Question:

Is there still any value in censorship?

My Essay:

Censorship is the editing or removal of content or information that a censor, such as a government or organisation, considers harmful or offensive. Although censorship is widely practised, developments in recent decades – notably the liberalisation of many societies and rise of the new media – have turned the tide against it. There are many reasons to reduce or even abandon the use of censorship.

Firstly, censorship restricts the right to free speech – the foundation of the modern democracy. Ccensorship may fuel paranoia, especially when the boundaries of acceptable discourse are not clearly defined – for instance, the OB markers in Singapore. Consequently, people may refrain from raising legitimate views and constructive criticism. Democracy and free speech allow people to further their interests and openly discuss issues, which is essential for societal progress. In his 2002 movie I Not Stupid, Jack Neo criticised the Singapore government and education system. Instead of censoring the movie, the government responded by reforming the education system.

In addition, censorship may be abused to further political, corporate or religious agendas. Totalitarian regimes like Soviet Russia and Nazi Germany controlled the press, using it for state propaganda, and burned books that criticised the government. In Singapore, author Catherine Lim received a government warning for a political essay she wrote in 1994, while blogger mrbrown's Today column was suspended after he wrote an article about the rising cost of living in Singapore. Newspapers, organisations and corporations might withhold information that may affect their reputation or finances; the public may be misled as a result.

The value and spread of creative works may be compromised by censorship. The 2003 Singaporean movie 15, about the lives of three teenage gangsters, received many cuts by the Board of Film Censors, and thus could not portray its characters realistically. Christian groups have challenged the inclusion of Harry Potter books in school libraries, claiming the series promotes witchcraft. Books by American author Judy Blume, which explore controversial teenage issues such as masturbation, have also faced similar challenges. If such books are banned, youths would be deprived of fascinating reading material.

The rise of the new media may render censorship redundant. Due to its size, the Internet is almost impossible to censor effectively and open proxies like Tor enable users to easily circumvent Internet censorship. People often respond to attempted censorship by widely circulating the censored material, a phenomenon known as the Streisand effect. For example, when the Motion Picture Association of America threatened to sue websites which published an anti-piracy encryption key, netizens reacted by posting the key on many blogs, forums and wikis. Similarly, films banned in certain countries are available on video-sharing websites – for example, YouTube and Crunchyroll.

However, to claim that there is no longer any value in censorship is an overstatement. There remain reasons to practise censorship, including preserving racial and religious harmony, which is particularly important in cosmopolitan societies like Singapore. In 2005, two Singaporeans were jailed under the Sedition Act for posting racist remarks on their blogs. The swift response by the Singapore government ensured racial harmony was not affected. In contrast, when Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten published cartoons depicting the Prophet Muhammad as a terrorist, the Danish government refused to censor the cartoons and they sparked violent protests across the Muslim world.

Censorship may stop the spread of undesirable values. In particular, children are highly impressionable and exposing them to violent or sexual content may steer them towards crime. A 1999 report by the American Senate Judiciary Committee states that 10% of youth violence is inspired by television programmes. The perpetrators of the Columbine High School massacre were inspired by the computer game Doom. Likewise, pornography encourages liberal sex acts and sex crimes, so censoring it is appropriate.

Last but not least, censorship may be needed to protect people from harm. For example, websites teaching people how to make bombs may be censored to prevent crime and terrorism. During high-profile court cases, the identity of some parties may be kept secret to safeguard their lives and prevent disruptions to legal proceedings. Tabloid newspapers frequently make defamatory allegations about celebrities which may unfairly hurt their careers. Freedom of the press should not be a blanket license to libel people and fabricate stories.

In conclusion, censorship is undesirable, but it is a necessary evil. Censors must censor wisely and with caution, considering factors such as the cultural norms of the country and whether the work has sufficient redeeming value. They may consider nuanced approaches such as film ratings, which ensure movies with violent or sexual content are only seen by supposedly mature adults and not innocent children.

(766 words)

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F*** My Life!

2009-06-22T22:14:00.011+08:00

FADE IN
INT. JJ'S ROOM - NIGHT

Recently I chanced upon an interesting website called FMyLife. FMyLife is a collection of true incidents, called FMLs, of people getting screwed up. These anecdotes are submitted by the victims and those which pass two rounds of moderation will appear on the site as FMLs. Finding the right FML is easy as they are sorted into seven categories and there is a search function, as well as links to "Top", "Flop" or "Random" FMLs. Users can vote on FMLs - saying either "I agree, your life is f***ed" or "You deserved that one" - and post comments on them (though many comments, such as those by LGBT rights supporters, are replete with vulgar vitriol).

Some of my favourite FMLs:

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML
Today, at work, my ipod was stolen from my desk when I was away. I work in a police station. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were exchanging some naughty pictures. When I was about to send one, I accidently send the picture to everybody on my contacts, including my ex, my boss, and even Pizza Hut. FML
Today, my husband was leaving on a long business trip to Germany. As he's leaving, my daughter starts crying. 'Dont leave me with her !' she says. 'Take me with you !' FML
Today, I was driving on the motorway when a cop car made me stop. It was a routine check and when they said "Have you been drinking?" of course I said no. To that, my 6 year old sitting in the back screamed "Yes he did! He's lying I saw him drink!" I had drunk a milkshake. FML

The FMLs are funny, but they are also intriguing. Whenever I am feeling down, I will check FMyLife for the latest stories. Reading them reminds me that I am not alone and should always look on the bright side, no matter what problems I face. I highly recommend FMyLife to all my friends who are reading this. Perhaps, one day, I will contribute my own FMLs and help cheer up and encourage others.

FADE OUT